ASH1397

Hello there :) I'll start with the overall impression: I think there's something in here that everyone can relate to, from that scared little kid in them to the fear ...

hello. A few opening comments this is a very generalized story and the ending is a little off-beat with how the rest of the piece went. The nit-picks : They ...

Hello there :) I'd like to start out with an overall impression: I felt this was to-the-point, and heartfelt. I think the emotional scene really shined in the last two ...

Hello there! Once again another great piece to the puzzle. You are fitting together the intertwining perspectives very nicely, and you have a great flow. I do suggest not jumping ...

Hello there :) Cute, and short story. I really liked it. Here are some suggestions : I was ten years old when I found out who I really was. My ...

Great job, to start off with. I don't think even a dictionary can describe love, although it is there in words. Maybe no one really knows what love is, but ...

Hello ! I thought this was short, sweet and right to the point really :) I thought all of the lines made it harder to read when they were spaced ...

Alright, Deary! You know me,k and I'm so sorry for delaying this review. I've gotta give you this, the story line seems very, very thought out, and could go alot ...

Wow. This was really confusing, but once I re-read it.... wow. I think you used words, and told but didn't show. I could see a girl who had been hurt, ...

Hello there!! :) First off, I'll do my nitpicks, then tell you what I think overall. I do not regret answering that phone call. But at the time it felt ...

hello there :) Just one more sip , I promised myself as the fiery , burgundy liquid swam down my throat. Okay, well , one more should really do it. ...

Hello there :) I'll get through the nitpicks, then go onto a general impression for you. :) My dearest Will, Do you remember when we first met? I was seventeen ...

Hey There :) I really loved this poem of yours really gives a person alot to think about. Like what kind of center of life we have or the paths ...

hey there :) great beginning. You set up a great mood, kind of dreary, and you know something's up right away by the second group of lines. You need to ...

Hey DramaLlama! :) Good voice here! You might want to think of a rhyme scheme, though. Doing this is going to help set up a pattern in the readers mind ...