THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LIKES! I GOT ON THE FEATURED WORKS FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND I AM SOO THANKFUL!!!!
I hate him.
Hate him.
HATE HIM.
No, this isn’t a dang poem.
See; no rhymes.
Well, at least I’ll tell you about him.
No! I don’t want to.
He stands in front of me. Arms folded in front of his built chest.
Eyes so brown I imagine stupid brownies all the time.
I breathe in deeply and breathe out.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed slamming my locker door.
Harry put on a sly grin.
“To tell you something.” He said simply.
I looked away, focusing on the students walking around us cheering “Go Eagles! Go Go Go!”
The basketball game was about to begin and I had to record the game.
“Well…?” I asked angrily.
He leaned against my locker as I held onto my camcorder.
I flipped my blonde hair over my shoulder trying to show that I’m getting impatient.
That's why I hated him. He never got to the point. But, of course that's not the only reason.
“I like you,” he said.
My automatic reaction was… “Haha!” I laughed loudly. “Seriously, what did you wanna say?”
I hated him, and I hated his jokes. But this one was just hilarious.
My stomach flipped tons of times as I noticed that he wasn’t laughing.
His tan face was covered by a serious grin.
“Come on, I gotta go record the game!” I beamed.
He leaned in closer to me as I took a step back. My heart pounded faster once I noticed what he was about to do.
I put my index finger against his lips and he was two inches away from my face.
“No,” I demanded.
He opened his eyes and pulled my hand down.
My heart beat got harder and faster like drums in a hard rock concert.
I could barely breathe once he did it.
To tell you the truth, the kiss wasn’t half bad. Okay, it was amazing. Who could know that your enemy is the best kisser?!
I felt him push me against the locker as the kisses continued.
My lips felt the softness of his and I couldn’t stop loving it even more.
Once I got my brain to focus on the situation I pushed him away.
“What the hell was that?” I yelled.
The people around us stared at the situation.
Great. All we need is viewers.
“You kissed me,” he said.
“No; you kissed me.” I said loudly.
“But you kept on kissing.”
“So did you.” I walked away to the large gym.
The hallway felt like a safe place as I headed to the game. Why did he do that? Why did I do that?
I will never know.
But I liked it.
No, no I didn’t.
Yes, yes I did.
Oh for God’s sake!
The gym doors opened as some cheerleaders passed by me, causing me to fall down to the ground with a loud thump.
I realized that my favorite silver camcorder has left my hands.
I got on my knees and started to look for it once the blue skirted girls went away.
It wasn’t there.
My heart beated faster in panic.
I got up and scanned the perimeter. The blue and red hallways were empty. Everyone was at the game.
Not even Harry was there.
I whipped my hands on my jeans and ran around the long hallway.
Nope, it’s not there!
I ran back and opened the wooden doors. Right when I opened them I saw black. A huge bolt of pain ran from my face down to my toes as I fell down to the ground.
When I opened my eyes, I saw three basketball players siting by me, staring as if I were a cheerleader.
“Are you okay?” One of them asked.
Oh, it was Kyle. No, I didn’t lose my memory; it’s just that I barely know the basketball team players.
“I think so.” I replied trying to smile but it hurt.
Then I heard someone run closer to us. I couldn’t move my head from the pain, which I noticed that the basketball caused.
They saw though, who it was and said “Sorry Jess,” as they ran back to the game.
The swing doors closed.
“Are you okay?” Harry asked me.
When I saw his face I looked away. Not him again. He just kissed me.
“Yes,” I blurted out.
“You don’t look to good,” He assured me.
“Sure,” I said sarcastically.
I managed to open my eyes again to notice that he was serious.
He put his hand behind my head to lift it up a bit.
“Oh crap, you’ve got a black eye.” He said.
“Nu-uh, my eyes are blue!” I yelled.
He shook his head and picked me up.
“No! Let me go!” I rejected.
“No, I’ll take you to the nurse.” He carried me.
I truly didn’t know that he was that strong.
I felt every step he took as my head bounced.
He stared straight ahead taking little glances at me to see if I was okay.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” This time I asked nicely.
I could see that he was surprised by the way his jaw dropped. “Because, I like you,” he hesitated.
Hesitation is a sign of lying or uncertainty.
“Really…?” I asked.
“Yes, really.” He answered automatically after me. I guess he noticed that I noticed he was lying.
Maybe he wasn’t. I can’t read minds, sadly.
He took a left turn as we got closer to the nurse’s office.
“Truly, do you like me truly? Like from the bottom of your heart?” I knew that this was clearly a bad time to ask this but I wanted to know. No matter how much I hated him, I had to know.
He stopped walking and looked at me straight in the eyes.
My heart sped up as my stomach did its flipping dance.
“Yes, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, like you.” He admitted.
From out of nowhere a smile grew on my face. As much as I hated it, I couldn’t make it stop.
What the hell is wrong with me?
A smile appeared on his lips and took me into the nurse’s office.
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140,582 Literary Works • 673,538 Reviews
It was the best story I have ever read. It's my favorite story. It was so cute. I'm not lying but something like this happen to me. I hated this one guy in one of my schools. After a little bit he just came up to me and said, "will you go out with me?" He kept asking. After a week I finally said yes. I knew that he was the one because he was the sweetest thing ever. Also, I liked this story because it was the type that I enjoy.
Hello !
I thought all of the lines made it harder to read when they were spaced out like that, but still. I also like how you used the word 'like' and not love. It made it more interesting, less cliche. I think you could've made it longer and added in more details, just to explain the scene better and let the reader have a better visual thing to think of while reading.
.. well... unless it was someone they REALLY hated. Haha
I thought this was short, sweet and right to the point really
All in all, it was a highschool girls dream
Great job
Ash
Hey guys, I did add to the story!!! It's actually a novel. I have it on my user under the folder I Hate Him. Go ahead and read it. It's a completed novel. I'm thinking of adding a sequel!
Nike
I love your story!! I absolutely love the way you grabbed my attention from the very first line, and kept me hooked throughout. The only thing I think you could improve on is the tenses. I feel like your switching tenses from past to present throughout the story. Otherwise, excellent work! Keep writing!
I love it
really. I was a bit confused with the amount of times she got hurt? Was it once when
whe dropped her camera or again while she was looking at it? But apart from that it's
awesome! Favourite line, either, 'Hesitation is a sign of lying or uncertainty.' or 'Eyes so brown I imagine stupid brownies all the time'. It's also really clever how it seems like it could be a poem at first then opens up to a story. Maybe you could add to it?? Let me know if you do!!!
T x
ok that story was really good. I wish I could write that well. I did keep wondering why she hates him. Maybe its in the next chapter. Well I'll read it and find out.
I Love this! (: I loved how you made it into a poem form; it kept the reader at the beat you wanted them to read the story. Very creative. You story was Amazing too as well as your title. The only thing tho at I wanted to see more of was why she hated him in the beginning. I was really wondering there. Did they date before and he did something to her or was he just full of himself and acted like a jerk around girls? Also the name Harry stumped me. Why Harry? Why pick such a simplistic name and more of a hating name such as Jack or Jerrod? No offence to all the Jacks and Jerrods out there, but I guess I just had a bad history with guys with "J" names Jacks in particular, but maybe Harry is a hating name for you it just struck me out as an odd for the story when I was reading it.
Keep writing-
Anyways the story was really good. The narration, characters, story, meaning, everything. I would defiantly review more of your work
Aly-son
Honestly....
I [b]LOVED IT!!!
I actually played the story in my head, it was very very fascinating.
I loved this part:
“Truly, do you like me truly? Like from the bottom of your heart?” I knew that this was clearly a bad time to ask this but I wanted to know. No matter how much I hated him, I had to know.
He stopped walking and looked at me straight in the eyes.
My heart sped up as my stomach did its flipping dance.
“Yes, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, like you.” He admitted."
WRITE MORE!
I LOVE this. It's so relatable ! the concept is great. but in end, I'm still left with so many questions! I would love if the piece was longer, and you gave some background detail.
I liked the concept of this story. But, we don't know why Jess hates Kyle so much. The main characters also go back and forth from hate to love. I think that maybe if you told more about the characters and made them not so jumpy, this would be a great story. Also, there are no paragraphs. But, overall, I liked the idea!!
Thanks for posting
Here is he second part: topic72859.html
I HATE HIM OFFICIAL FAN PAGE: page.php?id=840 JOIN THE CLUB!
I added another part! Here it is: viewtopic.php?t=72775
Hey Nike!
Once again, you've created a piece with great description of emotions! Great job!
I understand that you're making this into a novel, I'd suggest that you reveal why she hates Harry so much because her hate is getting less plausible to me with each sentence. Hate is an incredibly strong emotion of dislike and she seems to fall in like/love too easily, at this point. I know that hate can turn into love when you fall over the edge, but I'd prefer if you made it more realistic
Other than that, keep up the good work!
~Meep(:
Your story made me smile. It truly did. I loved how you showed the narrator's inner strife in its own comical way. The style is unique in it's own way. It was fun to read and made me want to read more once I finished it. Although, I don't exactly understand why Harry is Jess' enemy. Perhaps a little more explanation in that general area? I also don't understand why the narrator in the beggining is explaining that the story is not a poem. Is she suppose to be writing this or thinking this? If you plan to write a sequeal then that would be totally great!
Totally cute! I like the part where they 1st kiss.
I really do like this piece. It has a very unique title and I thought that the way it was written was different. I cannot say that there is much that I do not like about it.
I very much liked the way it was written. I almost rarely see writing that does not come in paragraph form. It is really great.
The title got me from the beginning. It made me happy almost. I do have to agree with what others are saying. As much as I like guessing at why she as angry at him, I would like to know a little bit. Maybe you could add a few clues as to why she doesn't like him. Like little hints added throughout so that you don't fully spoil it.
I find it funny that it is as though she thinks he is harassing her. It's kind of like the saying "A boy only makes fun of you because he likes you." That's what the entire story reminded me of. Great job!
Wow, this is really epic!
It was totally fun to read.
Nitpicks/Comments:
- I love this part xD. There were a few missing punctuations though.
- End the sentence with a comma and don't capitalize the first letter of 'he'.
- Comma after 'nowhere'.
I really loved this story! The only thing missing is the reason why she hates him. o.o Maybe, you could add it to the story, or make a part 2! xD
Anyway, congratulations on the featured post.
Hey mate, I'm impressed by this work.. well done!
i like the style of this story, and how well its described...as everyone has mentioned, the main characters name wasn't really mentioned here but other then that its a good story!
i liked this part:
"He opened his eyes and pulled my hand down.
My heart beat got harder and faster like drums in a hard rock concert.
I could barely breathe once he did it.
To tell you the truth, the kiss wasn’t half bad. Okay, it was amazing. Who could know that your enemy is the best kisser?!
I felt him push me against the locker as the kisses continued.
My lips felt the softness of his and I couldn’t stop loving it even more.
Once I got my brain to focus on the situation I pushed him away."
cheers,
Wow, I have to say this is one of my favorite pieces. Its fantastic I've never read something like this and I think I'd have to disagree with sweetmoments; it's nothing like twilgiht it has its own uniqueness! ;D
but just add the name Harry in somewhere!!
Well who else?! 
I heart your title. Heart heart heart..
I'm addicted to good titles; ask anyone i've reviewed for. So you deff. scored brownie points there.
I just didn't quite understand the part where you told us his name was Harry. I only copped on that it was the guy who said he like the MC as I read on. It wasnt exactly clear. Maybe at the begginging try soemthing like;
Ugh Harry wouldn't he ever get it? I hated him.. with P.A.S.S.I.O.N
Something like that ok whatever you want
Also give us a bit of backround of why you hate him so much?! If you kinda like him and hate him ( I love that conflict in stories ) then we need to know WHY?!!!!
You do have a talent and one great big hug from me
I love your story and I'll reveiw your work anytime.
Hope I helped
Kaka.. xxxx
PM me
Its a cute story although maybe, a bit much like Twilight.
Other than that its good.
Keep writing!
Hello there
,
Did you mean tons?
Wait who's Harry...? Aw never mind, just saw that it's the guy.
You cannot say a "smile grew" on someone's lips.
This seems like a pretty cute short story. I don't have anything else to say.
Keep writing!
-Other One
Hey there Nike!
I really liked this short story, I love the way her mind is buzzing constantly.
Only a few nit-picks:
1. Her full first name isn't even mentioned.
2. There's a lot of paragraphs.
3. The characters are two-sided.
But other than that, I loved it!
My favorite part by far is:
Keep on writing!
-LPR
I love this part!
I loved this story
I thought this story was very cute(:. It was so sweet, and funny. She seemed like a fun character to write about, but I'd like to know why she had hated him in the first place(:? He sounds really sweet and the characters fit really good together. I think that it ended to short though. My favorite part was when she kissed him and actually liked it and hated herself for it. It's a cute part(:. Good job!