Land of Sky, Land of Rain (Chapter Twenty-One)

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Part VI: Just Me and My Shadow

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Chapter Twenty-One

I don’t believe there’s any true way to respond to that statement other than “Wha...?

“What the hell do you mean, I don’t exist? I’m right here in front of you!”

But, “Incorrect,” the Wraith says, “Eri of Kirael is right here in front of me.”

Eri of... “Wait, Eri’s a human then?” And here I always thought it was some shiny magic item.

But, yet again, “Incorrect. Eri is not at all human. She is far more than human.”

“What is she, then?”

“Eri,” the Wraith says, “is one of the last four survivors of Irim Kuarth– soon to be one of the last three.”

I’m not sure which part of this stunning news I want to address first.

“Three?” I echo.

“Yes. One of the four is dying at this very moment, you see. Poor child. But... that’s what happens when you dabble in Spellweaving, I’m afraid. The darkest of dark magics, you see. Corrupts the soul, tears it apart. The ultimate power, the ultimate price.”

“The... the... it’s not... Koreth?”

The Wraith looks momentarily surprised. Its grin disappears.

“You know each other. Of course you do, you both grew up in this town.”

“What? No, I met him in Yoake–“

”Well, it is a tragedy,” the Wraith continues, speaking over me, “especially considering what the poor child set out to do in the first place. Wasn’t like all the others, you see. Not in it for power or glory or revenge. In fact, Koreth of Kirael became a Spellweaver for this city, and especially... especially, for Eri. For you.”

“What?” Koreth, for my sake... for me... was it truly because of me, was it truly my fault?

“Come now,” says the Wraith, “Surely you must have some memory of all this. Perhaps not your memory, but part of you, at least.”

I frown at it. “Memory...”

“Yes.”

I feel the other me struggle to assert herself once again, but this time, I don’t fight. I let it take over.

It’s an odd sensation, like I’m retreating far into myself, like I’m being covered by something. I can see around me and such, and hear, but in an oddly... secondary way, like looking out a window or hearing music from the headphones of someone whose mp3 player is turned up too loud. It’s a relief, like going to sleep after a long, long day; but it’s also absolutely terrifying, turning my insides to ice and making me feel as though I’m drowning. I can’t help but fight back, but not before I’ve seen a few flashes of things, memories, I guess. They surface in the way memories do. But I know for a fact I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

First, a gaggle of children’s voices, speaking Kuarthian. Second, the word “Lirena,” though I haven’t the slightest idea what that means. And last, a voice, a terribly cold and disinterested, familiar voice, saying,

“They’ve hardly any power, you can see they’re the weakest here. Kill that lot. We’ll just keep these. Number Thirteen, I believe? Have her marked and sealed quickly, we only need a few more. If worst comes to worst, I suppose we could always use humans. For now, we’ll take twenty in total.”

Kagami.

Then I jerk back to reality.

“Well...?” The Wraith asks.

“There are... memories,” I say slowly, trying to get used to using my own mouth again.

“Let them come.”

So I surrender to the other me. I allow myself to remember.

* * * * *

I remember that I was six years old and my name was Eri. Eri of Kirael, and I wore the name with pride. The great Kuarthian Empire had fallen many, many years ago, before the time of my grandfather’s grandfather’s grandfather, and of course Hanora and Sareil had been at bitter war since before anyone could remember. But humans always did things like that, and whatever humans were doing in their far off land across the sea didn’t matter to me. I was Kuarthian, after all. A full-blooded risen demon, and viciously proud of it.

Of course, I was also a weak Kuarthian. My home was far, far from the Pillar from which my people drew our power, and for good reason. Irim Kuarthians were able to absorb any magical energy radiated in their midst, and taking in too much could cause horrible illness. Cities like the fallen citadel of Ran’zai, near the Pillar, were unsafe for all but the most powerful Kuarthians. I was weak, as was my family, as were my friends, as was the rest of the village. Almost all of the powerful ones had been killed long ago, when the humans rebelled. Kagami was the only one left, and he’d gone and joined the humans, for some reason. But what did it matter? Our empire was gone, there was no one left to fight, and we were not numerous enough to seek power for ourselves.

The village was small, and there were only about thirty villages of similar size left in the world. That was okay, too. It wasn’t like we’d die out anytime soon. The magic in our veins meant that we had exceptionally long life spans, and even the weakest of Kuarthians could live to be ninety or a hundred, almost twice as long as most humans.

No, no one was worried about the end of Irim Kuarth as we knew it. We weren’t bothering anyone at the moment. We were just living our lives, no reason for anyone to trouble us.

Knowing this only made us more determined to believe things were all right as events started to prove us wrong.

It began far from the coast, nearer to the Pillar, though exactly what began, we couldn’t be sure. No one knew why it had happened, or even really what had happened, but the effects were obvious and undeniable.

One by one, our villages were vanishing from existence.

Death was moving like a cloud over our cities, starting in the North and working its way down to Kirael. A few people had been sent to investigate, but at the sites of the recently destroyed villages, they saw nothing but burnt wreckage. This was a matter of great concern for the adults in our village. I didn’t understand the details, but I knew things were bad. When I’d been very small, a plague had been passed to us by human traders from the continent, a plague that left many dead, and left me, my best friend Koreth, and many others orphans. I could still remember, a little, the shouts of the dying and the glow of the funeral pyres... but I knew from the looks on their faces that people were more afraid now then they were then.

Koreth. He’d always been a quiet person, the sort who listens to others more than talks himself, and he was growing increasingly worried about the looming, mysterious threat. The more he listened, the more he seemed convinced that our home, too, would soon be ablaze.

And one day, when I was seven, he told me he was going to find help.

“Help?” I repeated blankly.

“Keep your voice down.” Koreth said, glancing around. We were sitting in front of my aunt’s house, where I was conveniently “forgetting” the fact that I was supposed to be weeding my side of the vegetable patch. “If anybody else hears, they’ll try and stop me--”

“But where? Why? Everybody else is just as scared stiff as we are, none of them will ever–“

"I’ll get help from the humans.”

“The humans–!”

“I said, keep your voice down. The humans won’t want to help us, not really, I think they’re actually pretty happy we’re all going... but if I can find some way to help in return, maybe they’ll think differently. And then the humans’ll have good armies, and weapons, and magic–“

"But where do you expect to find humans? They live all across the ocean, and you haven’t got money for a boat... I’m not loaning you my pocket money, even Tania says I worked hard to get those four coppers, and–“

"In Lirena. The human Spellweavers live there. And Kagami’s there, he’ll probably be more willing to help us, since he’s one of us. Maybe.” he added, doubtfully. “Anyway, I hear he’s not there all the time, but I’ll probably meet him at some point. Maybe if I become a Spellweaver, they’ll help us in return.”

“What about... won’t anyone come looking for you?”

Koreth shook his head. “Who would?” Koreth had lost his parents like I’d lost mine, in the plague, but he didn’t have any family to turn to go back to, like I had my father’s sister. He lived in the orphanage near the center of the village, where he was just another of fifteen parentless mouths to feed.

“I would.” I glared up at him.

Koreth rolled his eyes at me. “No you won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re going to promise me that you won’t tell anyone where I’ve gone.”

“But–"

"Eri, I’ve got to do this, okay?”

“Do not,” I grumbled.

“Do, too.” Koreth sighed. “Look, I don’t want... I don’t want this place to be destroyed, okay? It’s important.”

“Why is it so important?” I asked. I wasn’t going to let him off easy with this, no way.

“Because... well... because you’re here.” he said, more quietly.

I stared at him for a minute, not sure what to make of that sentence.

Koreth gave me a worried smile, and I realized that he was really afraid. He didn’t want to leave, I knew, and I understood why he had to.

“Didn’t your aunt say you need to pull the weeds, or something? I’ll help you.”

I grinned. “Misery loves company.”

“Sure.”

A few days later, under cover of darkness, Koreth left. I watched him go with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing I might never see him again, though at the time, I had no idea what Spellweaving would do to him. If I had, I might have tried harder to stop him, I think, though I doubt I would have gotten results. Koreth left to protect Kirael and me. He also promised to write, to come back as soon as possible, and to bring help with him. And I made him swear that we’d meet again, and that he’d be okay. But I wasn’t sure if I believed him.

Koreth went to Lirena, and to his death. I watched him go.

Time passed without word from him. I kept my promise, I told no one where he had gone, and a half-hearted search was sent out, but no one found him. They probably didn’t look too hard. Koreth was serious and quiet and not very strong, a kid without a lot of prospects and nobody to provide for him, in a village half full of kids with not many prospects and nobody to provide for them. People were probably glad another drain on our village had disappeared—sometimes, in darker moments, I wondered if that was the real reason Koreth had left. The flame of destruction took village after village. Koreth was presumed dead.

I still waited, in vain.

Then one day, when I was eight, the world ended.

I was the first to see the vague figures moving on the horizon, and my heart skipped a beat. Maybe this was it! The long-foretold hope that Koreth had promised me! But something told me to stay back, to wait for the figures to pass me instead of running up to them.

They drew close to my hiding place, behind a large rock, as they come down the forested path to the village. I peered over the edge of it to watch, wide-eyed, as they passed.

There were about thirty creatures of shadow, vaguely human-shaped, but far taller and more ethereal than humans, following closely behind a Kuarthian man who appeared to be their leader. He, too, was quite tall, and had a thin face that bore an expression of great impatience. His long hair was black as the night sky, and he had no armor or weapons, wearing only simple robes. But the aura of magic, of power, clung to him. I shivered as he passed the place where I was hiding.

Then, so quietly I was sure for a second I’d misheard him, he said, “There’s one there. Bring her out.”

I twisted, tried to get to my feet to run, but I was too slow. Two of the dark creatures stepped behind the rock, seized me, and continued to file behind their companions to the village, keeping me held by the arms between them so that my feet just barely brushed the ground. Despite their insubstantial appearance, they were quite strong, and no matter how I struggled against them, I couldn’t break free. Panic was beginning to rise in my throat, to claw at my heart, but my voice felt frozen, I couldn’t cry out.

People looked up in shock as the man and his followers entered the village.

“Wraiths...” I heard one of the elders gasp.

“Kagami!” a man shouted.

The leader of the procession gave them both a look of contempt, and waved a hand in their direction in a careless manner. They, and the houses and shops behind them, and everything in between, were set ablaze.

Several people screamed, and everyone began to run, in a hurry to get out of the way of the apparent madman and his miniature army. But Kagami set fires starting in other directions, too, incinerating both people and buildings. Every few moments, he’d point out someone for his Wraith guards to seize, someone of slightly greater power than the others. The Wraiths obeyed him without question. I cast my eyes about for a familiar face, and saw one: my aunt.

She glanced up, and saw me, too.

“Eri!” She shouted. She took a hesitant step toward me, then looked up at the Wraiths and Kagami, and back at my little cousins, tugging at her skirts.

She turned away and ran, and a nearby shop front collapsed atop her, burying her in blazing wood and thatch.

I screwed my eyes shut, but the glow of the fire shone through them, against my closed eyelids.

A Wraith stepped toward one of my cousins, who was looking on with horrified eyes, but Kagami held up a hand.

“They’ve hardly any power, you can see they’re the weakest here. Kill that lot. We’ll just keep these. Number Thirteen, I believe? Have her marked and sealed quickly, we only need a few more. If worst comes to worst, I suppose we could always use humans. For now, we’ll take twenty in total.”

One of the Wraiths drew a hand across my shoulder, leaving a mark that said something in Kuarthian, there was too much chaos around me to concentrate. Then, the Wraith made a strange gesture, spoke a strange word, and the world went dark.

For five years, I knew no more.

* * * * *

I open my eyes to see the sky above me and feel the soft grass below me and hear the rustling of the wind in the trees. Well, at least this time I passed out on soft ground.

“She’s awake!” I hear a voice call, “At least, I think she’s awake...” Someone’s face zooms into my line of vision, blocking the sky and the tree branches. A pair of inquisitive green eyes peers at me for a moment.

“Hello, Attaraya.”

Attaraya shrieks and jumps away, backpedaling across the dirt toward the others.

“Yup,” she says, trying to regain some dignity, “definitely awake.”

I sit up, clumsily, feeling faintly ill. The others are watching me warily. I wish they wouldn’t.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Iarin gives a short, high laugh. “Wh-what’s wrong? You’ve b-been lying there on the ground for hours... sh-shaking and looking up at the sky...”

I glance up and realize that she’s right, hours really have passed. The sky is dark now.

“We thought the Wraith must have done something to you. I was going to burn it, but you can’t hurt Wraiths with magic.” Sae grimaces. “Unfortunately. We finally got it to explain a little bit, though.”

“Yeah, only a little. It just told us what you were prob’ly seeing and that you’d wake up at some point. Pretty vague. It wouldn’t say anything else until you woke up.”

“It’s still here?” I ask, “I don’t see it.”

As though in answer, the Wraith steps out from the shadow of a tree.

“Eri,” it says.

Whatever I’ve just learned about my past, I still don’t feel any connection with the name. Or with the rest of it, for that matter. It was like a movie. It couldn’t be real, it couldn’t. That makes no sense. For the first time in ages, I begin to wonder if I’m crazy, if I’m lying in some shrink’s office or hospital in Phoenix and this is all in my head. That might explain all the trippy dreams. But at the sound of the name, I can feel the other me straining to the surface.

“You can speak to her now, can you?” asks the Wraith.

“I... I dunno.”

“Try.”

Tentatively, I ask, in my mind, addressing my question to the other me, You’re... Eri. Right?

Silence. For a moment, I’m sure she won’t answer, then I feel a reply blossoming in my mind, a quiet murmur that’s my voice, but more hoarse and harsh than I think I speak.

Yes.

Um... nice to meet you, I say in my head, tentative and nervous.

I’m afraid I can’t say the same to you.

Uh... why not?

You’re a fake. I wish I were rid of you.

Well, thanks for not being too blunt about it.

A fake?

Let the Wraith explain.

“I’m a fake,” I say out loud. “She says I’m a fake.” I look up at the Wraith, a challenge in my voice, “What the hell does that mean?”

“Of course,” the Wraith says. “Your memories. The life you think you led, up to the day when you exited ‘your world,’ as you put it. Your personality, grown as a result of these memories. All of them are false.”

“What do you mean... ‘false?’”

“Kagami, in recent years, took twenty weaker Kuarthians from their villages to aid him with his war. An attack on a village by a mysterious enemy could even the odds if one side looked to be winning, or spur defeatists like the Hralhym Seid into action again. However, they had to be saved until the point when they became necessary... therefore they were placed within a spell that would keep their minds occupied in a dream world until they were needed. When that time came, they could be released at leisure and placed, with teleportation magic, in nearly any city on this earth. When they awakened, they would likely be threatened by the people of the city, who would, of course, be suspicious. They would attempt to defend themselves and so die, taking half the city with them.

“It’s odd, really. The dream we created for the captured was supposed to be a utopia, a perfect place... but, as you may have noticed, it was corrupted. By none less than the sleepers themselves. Their memories, fears, and faults created that world. I find it fascinating, actually. The Kuarthian mind seems to be more complex than anyone could have imagined– but also far more preoccupied with violence and death. In any case, it is that world from which you recently awakened.”

I look up at the Wraith, my thoughts racing. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to respond to that? It’s ridiculous. And how can I trust the Wraith now, anyway? It’s clear that he/she/it is associated with Kagami, now. What if this is all just a bunch of lies, a bunch more mind games?

But if it’s a bunch of lies, I have to admit it makes a bit more sense than any of the other things I’ve been told. You know, besides my own explanation that I’ve finally been driven insane.

Eri...? I ask, hesitant, Is this... is all this true?

As far as I can figure it. You’re sane, trust me. Or, at least, you’re not hallucinating.

Oh, yeah, “You’re not hallucinating.” So says the voice in my head.

But… you know what? I can’t handle this right now. I can’t think about it. The idea that everything, my mom, my school, my teachers, my city, my world…. The idea that they were all fake… I can’t stomach that. Not on top of everything else. My head is starting to hurt, and I feel tears prickle at the corner of my eyes. Koreth and Eri and the Wraith and Kagami and now this. Now all this. Who put me here? Who decided that I’d have to handle this crap? What did I do to deserve it? God, I really hate this, for almost the first time since I’ve arrived here, I want to go home. Now that I know I can never… I can never go home again.

So I fall back on the old strategy. I bite my lip, I raise my eyes to meet the Wraith’s ethereal face, and I don’t think about it. I push the thoughts away. I’m getting to be an expert at that sort of thing. Now. I’ve got to handle the now. Think first of helping Koreth, that’s what’s most important.

Besides, what the Wraith said really did answer all my questions. Well, except one. “Everything went weird,” I say, “On the last day...” I look up at the Wraith, doubtfully, hoping there’s some manner of explanation here.

It nods. “Of course. It was the strangest thing I had ever seen. And I was soon to realize the truth. You see, at the time, Eri was first beginning to stir within you. You are a unique case, Subject Thirteen. Never in all the–admittedly short–years of my existence have I seen anything like you. Your original soul, Eri, is unique in that she did not fade and die, as all the others did when they were covered by false memories. She must have had something very important to her to live for. But her living spirit began to corrupt the spell around you even further, and Kagami thought it best to quickly remove you from under it. Eri may have killed you, otherwise. However, we were unable to relocate you to a safe removal place in time.”

The school office... that’s where the Wraith was trying to send me. But it failed, of course. I was removed in the middle of Social Studies, and...

“You probably saw an... unpleasant vision as a result of this sudden and direct removal.”

Unpleasant is right, I think, remembering my vision of the blood-soaked classroom with a shudder.

“So then... all the people in my class and all... they’re okay, right? Not actually hurt?”

“If that is how you wish to think of it. But they can’t have been hurt because not one of them is real,” the Wraith pauses, “Wait. One of them, as I remember, was, in fact, real.”

“Oh. Then... he or she was already dead, huh,” I say quietly.

“Actually... no. You, Subject Thirteen, were not the last to be removed. Subject Nine still remains.”

The Wraith snaps his fingers, and the forest vanishes. Attaraya cries out in surprise and steps back, bumping into me. Only an illusion. The forest leaves behind an immense, empty field overgrown with yellowing grasses, the trees a long way away. But a wide clearing in the grass is where we’re standing, and about ten feet away lies a prone figure, clothed in a simple white dress that falls to her knees. I run over to her at the Wraith begins a quiet chant.

As he speaks, the girl emits a faint glow, no doubt being woken from her spell.

I almost don’t recognize her at first. From her head spills a mass of curly brown hair, her face, devoid of makeup, for once, is scattered with acne. But as the Wraith chants, that hair begins to slip back into her skull, straighten, and cover itself in golden highlights. The usual half-inch of creams and powders and blush and mascara begins to coat her face. The white dress changes shape and color to become a tight black T-shirt and jeans. And then I know, without a doubt, that it’s her.

Kathleen.

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[A/N]: Ugh. I really... just... ugh. I don't like this chapter much. I don't think the flashback works well, and well...

Actually, the main thing I worry about is that now that we know the truth of Emma's origin, it might come off as a little disappointing. I worry that maybe I've hyped up the idea so much that when it actually shows up, it's... kinda bland. The real truth is, I never cared so much how Emma got here as what she's going to do now she's here, so I really worry this idea isn't fully developed, or worse, that it's just lame.

Man, my confidence is really going lately. XD I've got to keep going with this thing, come on...

Advice, please? And thanks so much to all of you who've stuck with me for so long. You guys... I'm tempted to call into question your choice in reading material XD, but you're just awesome and ridiculously nice to someone who doesn't deserve it. *hug*