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Young Writers Society



Land of Sky, Land of Rain (Chapter Nine)

by zankoku_na_tenshi


Chapter Nine- Irim Kuarth

“Well.” I say. “That’s convenient.”

“Is it?” says the guard who, evidentially, is Attaraya. ”Why is it convenient?”

“Listen” I say, “on our way here—in Arael… something really bad happened, we need your--” my voice trails off as she narrows her eyes.

“What were you doing in Arael Pass in the first place? I know you were trying to get to Naroth– there’s nothing else on this side– but why? And how come you got a pass from the Council for it?”

With a sigh, I begin my explanation, starting with the morning a week ago (wow, really that long?) When I awoke to find that my ID card was bent and my best friend, Kathleen Riala, still hated me. Attaraya keeps interrupting to complain about the guard’s carelessness or the way I refer to the Council. Which I can deal with, as long as she’ll be willing to help us...

When I get to the part with Chiren and the nedra, Attaraya pretty much freaks out.

“Oh no, oh no, is that the reason you’re here? Is someone hurt? It’s still there isn’t it-- I bet it’s still there! D-d-do you guys need backup, or– “

"Calm down!” I shout at her, irritated now. “No one’s hurt. Let me finish.”

Attaraya straightens up and brushes herself off in an attempt to reassert some dignity. “Ahem. Go on, then.” she says.

“Well, I killed the nedra. Yes, me.” I add, when Attaraya gives me a doubtful look, “but... but then I did something stupid... and got all upset over it. I said... I said we should do something about it, that we should go to Sareil and all, since obviously we aren’t weak and we could do something to help Hanora... So we got permission from the Council to come here–“

‘Raya’s face brightens almost immediately. “Oh, so you guys are new recruits, eh? Welcome aboard! Come on, let’s get you ID’s verified and you can start training right away–“

"No!” I say, cutting her off in mid-sentence, “We were here to join you, but on our way here...”

“Th-the Arael pass tunnels collapsed.” Iarin interrupts, placing a hand on my shoulder, “A-and someone very important to us was trapped... maybe killed.”

“That Koreth kid, right?” says Attaraya, with a slight grin. I nod. “Say no more. You want my help to save him, right?”

“Yes.” I say.

“You do know that the odds on him being alive are pretty long, right?”

“Yes.” I say.

“'kay. Just checking to make sure you weren’t, like, delusional or something.” Attaraya says with a roll of her eyes.

“But if there’s even the slightest chance,” I say, all in a rush, just in case she might be on the way to turn us down, “If there’s the slightest–“

"Hey, chill.“ Attaraya interrupts, “trust me, I know how you feel. I get it. I get it.” she repeats, the faintest trace of bitterness in her voice.

Then, without missing a beat, she shakes her head as if to clear it and looks up with a slight smile.

“Which brings me to my next point.” she says.

“What’s that?” I ask, uncertain.

“I’ll help you,” says Attaraya, “If– and only if– you agree to help me in return.”

“Sure, fine, whatever!” I say, quickly, before she can change her mind. “Whatever you say, we’ll do it. Now come on, Koreth’s dying, maybe, while we sit here and–“

"Don’t order me around. I’m not going anywhere yet.“

"But I... but you... you just said...”

“Look, I just met you like five minutes ago. I don’t trust you, or your ‘Ealymian’ friend here, not one bit. You’ll be helping me in return for my help, you say. I’ll be helping you in return for your help, I say. “

"That’s...! ...wait… what?”

“What I mean is, I want you to fulfill your part of the bargain first. Is that simple enough for you?”

“But...” well, I guess Iarin did warn me this might happen. “Okay.” I say at last, since there really is no other option.

“W-what are your terms?” Iarin asks, her voice all of a sudden quieter and flatter, pure logic and calm. She looks like she’s in her element, so I guess I’ll let her do her thing...

Attaraya gives her a long look, as though sizing her up. “Okay,” she says, “Well, you’ve heard about the spy, haven’t you?”

“Y-yes, I have.” .

“And her?” Attaraya says with a vague jerk of her head in my general direction. I guess I should be grateful she didn’t say “and it?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard, too.” I answer, hoping that the spy she’s referring too is the one Iarin told me about on the way to Naroth, “the escaped one, right?”

“That’s the one.” ‘Raya’s suntanned face arranges itself into a pitiful grimace. “Typical. Everybody’s heard about the spy. No one knows about the nineteen spies who are dead now, because we caught them in time. No one pats us on the back for the Third Battle at Samei-Kozca, where we came back with our army still thousands strong and the Bleacheads back in their proper place. No one ever said ‘hey, good job, armies of Naroth,’ after the assassination of Sabrae, or the annexation of Sarracor, or–“

“W-we understand.” says Iarin firmly, cutting her off mid-soliloquy, “A-and we feel for you, we really do. So, how about you tell us what we need to know, and we can help you catch this spy, hm? Th-then you won’t hear another word of complaint.”

“Right.” Attaraya says, shaking off some of the weblog-toting angst and giving us a confident smile. “Well, here’s the deal. We have a pretty good idea of where she might be, but the details are still fuzzy. I’ve wanted to go after her myself, but I can’t do it alone. She’s a witch, you see. Uses forbidden magic.” she shudders “and I can’t get a group to go with me. Everybody’s too busy preparing to strike in the next battle. It’s gonna be important, you see.” Attaraya grins hugely, as though this is all a rather funny joke. “We’re gonna strike at the royal city, Dara-Kozca. Kill the Bleachead queen. They’re obsessed with her over there, must think she’s a goddess, or something.” a sneer escapes her, “Anyway, that’s where you come in. I need you to help me bring the witch back to justice.”

“Okay...” I say, “but... why? I mean, I get that she could bring information back to Sareil, but she can’t know that much, not if she’s been in prison.”

Attaraya glares at me. “That’s what everyone says.” she tells me. Her gaze drops to the ground. “Hey. This Koreth kid. The reason you want to save him... it’s not for the good of Hanora, or anything like that, right? It’s... you have your own, personal reason. I have a reason for wanting that goddamn witch in her place, too. Because she’s a murderer, too. She killed Renketh Drannen. She killed my best friend. Used witch magic on her, dark magic. Burned her to death. That’s why I want her to suffer like she made Ren suffer. That’s why I need your help.” She raises her eyes, and I’m surprised to find them shining. “So? What do you say?”

Well, the first thing I want to say is, “Wait, you’re calling me delusional?” but, somehow, I can’t. I just can’t. Because I do get it. I really do. I may have no idea what it’s like to really have a best friend, but I know what it means to care about somebody, to really care about them, cheesy as it may sound. And, even I have to admit, ‘Raya’s desire for revenge, however crazy, however risky it may be, does sound more tangible– and a hell of a lot more possible– than my own false hopes.

“Okay.” I say, “If we must.”

Attaraya smiles. “Thank you.”

“G-give us the details, then, please.” Iarin prompts.

“Well, I... hey, Emma, are you alright?”

I realize that as Attaraya speaks, I’m losing track of what she’s saying. My head feels awfully heavy, and just keeping my eyes open seems like a Herculean effort. “Yeah ‘m g’d....” I manage to mumble.

“Y-you should get some sleep.” Iarin tells me.

“Ueeh...?”

“S-seriously, some sleep. We didn’t even stop once in between here and Arael.”

“Wha? Well, then, how come it took so long to get here...?” I ask, feeling a bit cheated.

“Because y-you spent the whole first day running.” says Iarin with a barely detectable roll of her eyes. “So th-the rest of the time, you were dragging your feet. We made about half the time we could have if you’d paced yourself.”

“Oh. Well. That makes sense.” I say, too tired to argue.

“You should get some rest, actually.” says Attaraya, “you won’t stand a chance against the witch if you’re half-asleep.”

“Okay...”

Attaraya leads the way to one of the cabins, built of pine wood, simple, clean, and windowless. I stumble over to the straw mattress in the corner, and, surprised at how very tired I am, fall asleep.

* * * * *

Morning dawns on Naroth, which I would have slept through as well if it hadn’t been accompanied by the screeches of several flocks of birds who, by the sound of it, are armed with megaphones.

“Emmaaaaaaaaa!” Attaraya is shouting from the other side of the cabin door. “Hey Emmmmmmaaaaa! Get up! We’re going! Hurry up, or we’ll leave without you!” She sounds so cheerful that I want to kick her.

I groan. Just great. Either she’s very happy about getting her revenge, or she’s a morning person. I’m not entirely sure which would be worse.

“Right.” I mumble, standing up and stepping out into Naroth.

Attaraya still has her big, almost criminally cheerful grin that makes me wish she’d trip and fall on her face, and Iarin is a few feet behind her, reading again.

Attaraya practically skips down the dirt road, humming tunelessly. Iarin tags along, evidentially unwilling to close her book and look where she’s going. As for me, I just continue behind the rest of them, keeping my feet moving as fast as I can.

It’s going to be a long day.

* * * * *

“So.” I say at last, “anyone mind telling me where we’re going?”

One of the good things, scratch that, the only good thing about having Attaraya around is that she seems to know the lay of the land. She’s been leading us without commentary for about two hours now, over and around the mountains. She seems to know where she’s going, but I’m starting to get a little sick of having no freaking clue what’s going on.

“Eh?” Attaraya asks, cutting off her tuneless hum. “What now?”

“Where are we going?”

“To find the spy. Do I really need to explain this again?”

“But where is the spy?” I ask, only somewhat patiently.

“Probably? North.” says Attaraya, unhelpfully.

“O-oh, the ruins, right? Good thinking.”

“Thanks.”

“Um, hello!”

“Oh. R-right,” says Iarin, “A-attaraya thinks that maybe the spy went to some old Kuarthian ruins, a bit north of here.”

“Kuarthian?” I echo blankly.

Attaraya gives Iarin a look like, is this girl for real? Iarin gives her a look like, I know, I know. I give them both a look like, Get on with it already!!

“The Kuarthians? You know, the ones who conquered everything? ‘Like demons risen from the grave,’ General Natvi, the First Treaty of Litha, et cetera, et cetera? Any of this ringing a bell?”

“Er... no. Sorry.”

Attaraya turns to Iarin. “My God, she really doesn’t know anything.”

Iarin smiles awkwardly at her. “It was about fifteen hundred years ago.”

Attaraya snorts. “No excuse not to know. The Kuarthians changed all of Terra, more so than anyone else. So far, at least. Not knowing Irim Kuarth is like not knowing Chiren. Makes you look stupid.”

“Er.” is all I can say to that.

“The Kuarthian Empire was i-in power for about nine hundred years.” Iarin explains, since ‘Raya is too busy ranting about the horrors of my stupidity to be any help. “D-during that time, they took over most of the Terran continent. Hanora first, then they advanced on Sarracor to the south. At the height of th-their power, they had control over every country on the c-continent– except for Sareil.”

Attaraya looks somewhat offended by this statement. “The Bleacheads made a deal with them, that’s why. Evidentially, they were too scared to face the Kuarthians, so they tried to appease them by giving them some random piece of territory. Cowards.” she says with a small sniff of disdain.

“A-actually,” Iarin corrects her very quietly, “I-it was the Kuarthians who wanted a deal, because they couldn’t defeat the Sareilian General Natvi, no matter how they tried. So they asked for one. They signed the First Treaty of Litha, w-which was supposed to give a small piece of Irim Kuarth to Sareil, as long as they agreed not to interfere w-with the Kuarthians taking the rest of the rest of Terra. But they had tricked Natvi, wh-who was completely illiterate, into signing away a bit of her own country instead: most of Sareil’s side of the Northern Mountains was lost. Wh-when Natvi figured that out, of course, she was very angry. She threatened war on Irim Kuarth, wh-which of course, they didn’t want. B-but the Kuarthian emperor was stubborn, he really did want that bit of land. And while the land was still b-being disputed, many people had settled there-- of all origins. I-it was a just… a mess. None of them got the land in the end, and i-it was made neutral territory. I-it’s called Ealym, now. My home.”

“How are the Ealymians neutral?!” Attaraya demands. “They’ve been selling help to the Bleacheads since, like, the dawn of time!”

“Th-they sent me to Chiren to help out with your injured.” Iarin says quietly. “Anyway, th-the idea is that Ealym is supposed to serve as a buffer for the constant disagreements a-among the peoples of Terra. A nation interested o-only in the pursuit of peace and an eternal quest for knowledge.” Iarin says the last bit with a hint of pride in her voice.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Most of them are only part human. Well, if you can call the Sareilians human.”

“The Kuarthians aren’t....? What are they, then?”

Were.” Attaraya corrects “They’re just about extinct by now. And no one knew what they were. Things that thrived on death. Creatures of the end. The people of Hanora referred to them as being ‘like demons risen from Hell itself’ and they took that name for themselves. Irim Kuarth in their language means--”

“The Realm of the Risen Demons.” I say.

“Yeah—…What? How the hell do you know that?”

I don’t know how I know either. Attaraya’s words… it’s like they jogged something in my memory… but… “I’m… not sure.”

She gives me a skeptical look, then continues. “But like I said, they’re pretty much extinct by now. By the time we took back our country, there were only a few scattered villages of weak Kuarthians left. Those continued to exist up to about five years ago, but now there are only a Kuarthians left. Survivors.”

“What happened?” I ask, curious.

“They j-just disappeared.” Iarin explains. “One by one. Inexplicably. Irim Kuarth ceased to exist w-within the space of a few years.”

“And good riddance.” says Attaraya.

* * * * *

By the next afternoon, we’ve officially spotted the ruins on the horizon. They’re nearly as glow-y as Chiren, but dimmed with the ravages of time and weather, their once towering columns toppled, their roofs caved in, their crumpled walls covered in moss. A place of twilight, of being left behind, of the gleaming hopes of once-upon-a-time long since crumbled to dust.

In other words, not very cheerful.

“Here we are.” says Attaraya in a completely incongruous cheery sing-song voice. She wears a bright fake smile like a superstitious person whistling as they pass a graveyard.

“Alright.” she says, “once we find the spy, stay back. You guys be my backup. She’s dangerous, no doubt about it, but I can take ‘er.”

“You? Alone? I thought that help was the whole reason you were dragging us along?”

“Well, I want to at least try to fight her myself.” Attaraya says as though this should be obvious.

What.” I say, not in the form of a question at all.

“Who here reports directly to Kagami?” she snaps. “I doubt if it’s you.”

“No, not me.” I say, rolling my eyes, and then add, “That’d be Iarin, right?” Just to tick her off.

She lets out a little snort of irritation and flounces ahead of us, her fiery red head held high.

I haven’t spoken my mind like that in years. It’s refreshing.

Suddenly, Iarin stiffens and stops walking.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Th-there’s something... someone here. D-drop your voice.”

“Sorry.” I whisper back.

“Is it.... her?” ‘Raya hisses.

“N-no idea... I haven’t met her, so I couldn’t tell her magic energy apart from someone else’s. B-but there is someone there. They have a p-pretty powerful aura, but...”

“But what?”

“I-it’s spasmodic. Whoever it is, they’re ill, I think.... o-or injured. Not fatally, b-but badly.”

“Where is she?” Attaraya asks, her expression set and serious.

“This way.”

Iarin leads us, with careful steps, around some of the debris and into the main building, where the collapsed roof leans in places against the still-intact columns, creating lean-tos that make small tunnels in the ruins. Iarin indicates the smallest of these, just low enough that I have to slouch forward to enter.

The tunnel continues for only about ten feet in, before it’s cut off by a triangular corner of the roof. It’s just wide enough for the three of us to walk. Sections where the roof has fallen unevenly create pools of uneasy, pallid light on the floor of crumbled stone. The best source of light comes from a gap at the end of the tunnel, which highlights the silhouette of a small, crumpled form at its end.

Attaraya bends down close to the ground, squinting in the darkness. I follow her gaze uncertainly.

“She’s here.” Iarin says very quietly.

The crumpled form stirs with the sound of her voice.

Attaraya tilts her head to see the shape better.

“Yup.” she says, grimacing at the person slumped not six feet away, getting off the ground slowly. “That’d be the one.”

Then the light hits the silhouette.

The spy Attaraya has been looking for is glaring at us with dark blue eyes, almost black, above a scar that cuts across the ridge of her pale nose. Her face is framed by a messily cropped white-blond tangle of hair. One emaciated arm seizes the wall, keeping her to her feet, the other is limp at her side, swaying oddly, like the arm of a doll. She’s dressed in a tattered grey-brown shift that must be a Hanoran prison uniform.

She couldn’t be more than ten years old.

----------

Not entirely happy with this chapter... but I've been procrastinating long enough, it's time to just post and get it over with.

And so yet another chapter passes where not much happens. OTL But we've got Sae back now! I missed her, too. and hopefully things will get more interesting soon. *fails at life*

EDIT: Hell yes! On try numero cinco, I finally got it to post! *victory fanfare* I somehow completely missed Nate's thread about the dissapearing post bug... but, it worked this time. I'm good with that.


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16 Reviews


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Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:14 am
BobcatPoet wrote a review...



Glad to see your novel underway. My best of wishes for its success, but remember though you may write, write, write, and write some more, the most important skill is to edit and find editors. Just go back and rewrite the tiny flaws all pieces contain. Example of one, and I quote: "You do know that the odds on him being alive are pretty long, right?” Should this not be: "You do know the odds of him being alive are pretty long, right?" Or something of that sense. Keep it up, future writer!!!! :D





Griffinkeeper wrote:I couldn't get into the present tense at all. Stories are usually told after the fact, so why are you using the present tense instead of the past tense?

I just don't see the advantage.




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Thu Jan 15, 2009 12:06 am
Dreamworx95 wrote a review...



I'm baaackk!!! Mwah, ha, ha, ha!
Lol. JK.

Okay, first and foremost, I have to tell you something right off the bat. I noticed that a lot of the time, the characters can't complete a sentence without any of these: .... or these: --
Meaning, there are too many hesitations. Examples:

“Listen” I say, “on our way here—in Arael… something really bad happened, we need your--” my voice trails off as she narrows her eyes.


“Well, I killed the nedra. Yes, me.” I add, when Attaraya gives me a doubtful look, “but... but then I did something stupid... and got all upset over it. I said... I said we should do something about it, that we should go to Sareil and all, since obviously we aren’t weak and we could do something to help Hanora... So we got permission from the Council to come here–“


“A-and someone very important to us was trapped... maybe killed.”


I caught these within the first few parts of the chapter, so there's a lot more in the rest. It was really exhausting to go through.

“A-actually,” Iarin corrects her very quietly, “I-it was the Kuarthians who wanted a deal, because they couldn’t defeat the Sareilian General Natvi, no matter how they tried. So they asked for one. They signed the First Treaty of Litha, w-which was supposed to give a small piece of Irim Kuarth to Sareil, as long as they agreed not to interfere w-with the Kuarthians taking the rest of the rest of Terra. But they had tricked Natvi, wh-who was completely illiterate, into signing away a bit of her own country instead: most of Sareil’s side of the Northern Mountains was lost. Wh-when Natvi figured that out, of course, she was very angry. She threatened war on Irim Kuarth, wh-which of course, they didn’t want. B-but the Kuarthian emperor was stubborn, he really did want that bit of land. And while the land was still b-being disputed, many people had settled there-- of all origins. I-it was a just… a mess. None of them got the land in the end, and i-it was made neutral territory. I-it’s called Ealym, now. My home.”


I found myself just glazing over this without really taking in any information. Agree with SeraphTree, too much rambling. I don't know what it is, but I think it was the big block of text that drove me away. I think that while Iarin is explaining this, maybe you could break this down into smaller paragraps so it's a little less tedious. And maybe have Emma ask some questions, or have Iarin pause to take a breath, Attaraya interrupt to add something, etc...

Moving on, I am still very annoyed that Emma thinks she can still save Koreth. Her and Iarin already spent days getting to Naroth, and now she's spending more time on a side mission. Koreth is probably long gone by now. But hey, sometimes getting annoyed with the main character is a part of every good story, so good job with that.

I groan. Just great. Either she’s very happy about getting her revenge, or she’s a morning person. I’m not entirely sure which would be worse.


This part made me laugh out loud. Emma has a good sense of humor.

Some things I really like is Attaraya's character. I like how...carefree she is. She doesn't seem to worry about a lot of things, which is something I really like in a person. That's probably why her and Emma don't get along all the time, since Emma seems to worry about a lot of things. Iarin is also starting to grow on me. I think it's about time she stopped stuttering, though. But she is very courageous for the shy girl she is.

I still wish we'd gotten to know more about Koreth, though. The only impression he really gives off is that he's a guy who is really smart and also really reserved. Seemed too serious all the time. I bet if you wrote a small scenario from his perspective (not for the story, just for experimenting), you could really learn a lot about him.

Anyways, if you want anymore advice, just PM me.

Ciao babe,

Dream,

XOXO




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Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:27 am
SeraphTree wrote a review...



Again, a bit of rambling [Now I'm listening to 'Alone' by Heart XDXDXD]. Couldn't really get into it. I mean, KORETH IS DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So... yes. :D I'm getting kind of worried about him. :(

*Seraph*

:smt051




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Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:33 pm
Pickle810 wrote a review...



Please please please post the next chapter! The only real thing I didn't like about this one was how Attaraya spoke at the beginning. "Chill" was one example. Because this story seems to be in a Renassianceish sort of time period, I think that Attaray should speak with less modern tongue. But I really demand to know what happens next. Please post it, thank you.

Alanda




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Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:46 am
Griffinkeeper says...



I couldn't get into the present tense at all. Stories are usually told after the fact, so why are you using the present tense instead of the past tense?

I just don't see the advantage.





Why is my dog your fig father????
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