Kevin and Shoko - Chapter 2

by GLaDOS

Published September 30, 2015

12+

In Kevin and Shoko (Novel)

“Agreed.” Kevin told Shoko.

They had been falling for what seemed like hours, but was only minutes. They conversed about their wills and their bucket lists before they fell to what would eventually be some sort of ground.

They eventually fell through a pool of turquoise water, or at least, that’s what they thought it was.

As they fell through it, they noticed that the entire world seemed to have reversed, and it seemed like they were just at the bottom of a pond and were now swimming up to shore.

Things were different, this wasn’t earth.

The normally green grass was now a mystical purple, and the leaves on trees were a pastel blue, as well as the mushrooms on the ground. The mushrooms were tiny and glowing, and scattered all over the ground.

“Shoko, we ain’t in Kansas no more.” Kevin announced jokingly.

“What the actual hell…?” Shoko gazed at it all, seeming to not be able to take it in.

Shoko crawled up onto the purple grass and got to her feet, noticing she left her shoes in the woods, she shook it off and felt the purple grass between her toes. Soon after, Shoko helped Kevin out of the pond and up onto her feet. They both admired the mystical scenery around them, northern lights and starry skies all above them.

“This is much better than home.” Kevin looked to Shoko with hopeful expression.

Shoko smiled to Kevin and grabbed her hand, leading her through the forest. They ran quickly, admiring the scenery as they went. Shoko soon slowed down and plodded with Kevin across the purple grass. As they passed through the lands, they could see mystical Chinese dragons with white scales and light blue fur atop their heads and down their backs like zebras.

They soon came upon a large and tall tree. It was like a great oak, but boasted an old clock in the center of it. Kevin started to move towards the old clock, but Shoko grabbed hold of her arm to try and stop her. Kevin forced her arm out of Shoko’s hand as if she knew what she was doing, and ambled towards the old clock.

“Kevin…” Shoko said with a warning tone.

“I got this.” Kevin held out her hand for Shoko to back off.

Kevin then reached toward the old clock and tapped on it lightly. It did nothing, so they thought. Shoko pulled Kevin back forcefully, and dragged her away from the Time Tree.

As they walked through the transcendental forest, they could hear many small whispers in their ears. Little specks of blue, green, and purple light flew all around them. They were like tiny spirits trying to tell them something. The specks of light would move instantaneously, and in a deranged way, as if they were frantically asking for help.

“These things are speaking to us.” Shoko pointed at one of them.

“Nah dip, Scooby Do.” Kevin punched Shoko in the stomach playfully.

Shoko rolled her eyes and continued to meander about the forest with Kevin. The specks of light continued to follow them. Kevin began to swat at them, flailing her arms about as if she were trying to summon a spirit like a disturbed witch doctor.

“Cut that out!” Shoko demanded, “These things need help.”

“They won’t go away!” Kevin hissed at them.

Kevin noticed a pond of that same turquoise water before her, and sprung into it, splashing the water around so the specks of light would leave her alone.

“You’re being ridiculous. These things are beautiful!” Shoko reached out her hand to one of them as it settled on the center of her palm.

Kevin rolled her eyes and waded around in the pond, seeing as the specks didn’t like the pond water, and all the specks of light eventually left them in peace.

They had been there for a few hours, simply wandering around and scanning their surroundings for food. They soon came upon a fluffy white bunny, hopping around in the forest.

“Ooh, food.” Kevin nudged Shoko with a wink.

Shoko forcefully shoved Kevin out from behind a tree. The bunny stared blankly at Kevin for a few seconds, then quickly hopped away.

“Oh, come on!” Kevin yelled at Shoko, “That could’ve been our dinner!”

“Have pity for the creatures of this beautiful place. No one has ever been here, so no one has ever hunted here,” Shoko cleared her throat, “Let’s keep it that way.”

Kevin simply rolled her eyes and darted out of sight, leaving a frightened Shoko behind. Shoko gave chase, and eventually caught up with her peckish friend. She tackled her from behind, forcefully pinning her to the ground.

“Dude, I need food!” Kevin complained.

“Fine! Just have it your way, then.” Shoko huffed and got onto her feet.

Kevin noticed Shoko was a bit upset, and stood up. Kevin sighed at the ground and stepped forward, embracing Shoko. Shoko wrapped her arms around her friend, and squeezed her tightly.

“I wanna go home.” Shoko complained.

“I know.” Kevin patted her on the back.

And soon after those words were said, they both lay down by the bank of a nearby pond.

Comments & reviews · 2
ParanormalMyth wrote a review Review · Oct 1, 2015

Heya, xJupiter! Glad to see you've continued on with this story, :) It's definitely showing amazing potential!

The Review!


Plot

Spoiler
Okay, so I'm probably going to be a bit nit-picky at times, but that's because this is so awesome that I really have to get down to the nitty-gritty to offer any advice-type-things.
Firstly, the first sentence. I, personally, feel like maybe it should have been the last sentence of the previous chapter instead. It's perfectly fine as the first sentence for this, but at first it took me a minute to comprehend. But I feel if you were to put this at the end of the last chapter, you'd have to maybe add a different sentence in this ones place for this chapter. So it all ends up being complicated, since you can leave it as is and be fine.
Second, I feel like you could possibly add a bit to this. It's fine as it is and is pretty great in fact. But if you wanted to add things there are certainly opportunities. Such as maybe describing what the water felt like to Kevin as she swam around. Or the wind whipping in Shoko's face, and the twigs snapping under her feet as she chased Kevin. Just little things like that. :) Or even perhaps Shoko's thoughts as she chased Kevin, I dunno.


Characters

Spoiler
As always, you did a great job with your characters!


Other

Spoiler
N/A


Typos/Grammar/Odd Sentences

Spoiler
I don't think I noticed any!


Have a great day!

~Myth :D

GLaDOS replied · Oct 1, 2015

Thanks! ^-^

User avatar
RagingLive
Review
RagingLive wrote a review Review · Oct 1, 2015

HAHHHHHHHHH! I AM HERE! :D Howdy, Xas! As I said, RagingLive here to review chapter twooooo. Oh, that rhymes. Review chapter two!

before they fell to what would eventually be some sort of ground.

They eventually fell through a pool of turquoise water,

You used 'eventually' a couple of times, and I would advise you to edit so that it doesn't end up sounding monotonous.

“We ain’t in Kansas no more.” Kevin announced jokingly.

Okay, first of all, the actual movie reference is "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more." I know you kind of morphed it for your own purposes, but just think of how Shoko rhymes with Toto . . .

Kevin began to swat at them, flailing her arms about as if she were trying to summon a spirit like a disturbed witch doctor.

This is great! I love the imagery here! :)

I would like to have seen a few more scenes here and there, but I think that this chapter was written very well! I can see a lot of improvement on your formatting as well! Good job!

Keep writing and keep on smiling!! :D
~RagingLive

GLaDOS replied · Oct 1, 2015

Good call on the Toto thing. Thanks, Rage!

No problem . . . I just expect to be tagged next time! xD

GLaDOS replied · Oct 1, 2015

I'll try and remember! xD



I have to ask. Does every question or statement regarding the quote generator end up in the quote generator?
— WeepingWisteria