It’s hard in this place of dark,
To find a soul who’s white as snow.
And this darkness still is waning.
It’s time is now to go.
On this earth of toil and hardship
A great beast has risen high,
Though its life is wilting fast,
And its power slipping by.
A resistance fights the battle,
With their leader White As Snow,
And a sword is in his hand.
On his thigh are words they know.
Each soldier knows the saying,
To the words they raise their swords.
It says he’s ‘King of Kings’
It says he’s ‘Lord of Lords’
Their leader rides a stallion.
Like His soul, his horse is white.
He rides and sunlight follows.
He rides and breaks the night.
And his word is law to all men.
And his word no man can bend.
Still no soldier fights for power.
They know that He’s their friend.
In the beginning they fell to darkness,
But their time was yet not done.
A soldier took their failing hands,
And brought them to the Son.
Where a Light still shined in darkness,
And shined bright with radiant glow.
To the King of Kings and Lord of Lords,
To a peasant soldier… White As Snow
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,840 Reviews
Hey wolverene
The poem is ....... dashing , amazing , deep , keen , bright and intresting. The way you describe it and the morality of it , i am trully amazed , very amazed really . I like the words you use .
It would be much better if you put in stanzas . So it can easily understandable and more attractive tooo.
Well i hope you keep on writing like this and never give up ☺.
If you have time , you can visit my profile and give reviews on my poem , it will be very inspiring for me ☺.
Thanks .
Hey there, Scarlet here too review!
I loved this poem, but before I get too that I want to point out the nitpicks.
It might just be me, but I feel this part throws off the flow of the poem. A poem is suppose to flow like a stream. This feels like a pebble blocking the flow.
Unless it's a starting of a new sentence or a name, place, ect. The word shouldn't be capitalized. After that comma after high, though should not be capitalized. That goes for any other lines that are like this.
The words in bold, 'White As Snow'. Shouldn't be capitalized until your directly stating the title, or a name. Also as shouldn't be capitalized in the first place.
Do you mean sun? It sounds slightly odd as son.
Other than that, this poem was beautiful and inspirational, here are some of my favorite parts.
This line, Is inspirational and powerful. I love how it sounds and just rolls off the tongue like a melody. This soldier is pure and honorable, as superior as a god.
You did a great job, I hope you'll continue writing.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely, ScarletDreams14; Writer, Student, and Artist.
I really like it. the title gave no hints about what it would lead to so i had a pleasant surprise. I dont know what made me like it exactly but I really like the fact the whole poem is a metaphor. the imagry is really good as well. Even though the images you used of the man are commen ones (the mighty warrior, the king of kings and the lord of lords and inconspicuously the savior) the way they were place together like that put a new twist on an old flavour. I think it a wonderful piece.
Hey it's Neverland here to review your piece!!
Oh my gosh!!!! I love it!!! ALOT!!!
Though I would fix up one thing. Only one. The spacing. I think that it would flow better if it was put into stanzas. Maybe you could split it into 3? ^-^
Other then that I love it all so much!! I can't even pick a favourite line!! Gah!!
And the way you end it, it just concludes it so well. But yeah I have nothing else to say.
Good luck with writing and I look forward to seeing more of your work in the Greenroom.
~Neverland.
I tried to put it in to stanzas when i entered it, but it wouldn't let me. It is typically in 5 stanzas of 4 lines.
8 stanzas i mean
Something like that happened to me when I first posted.
Try putting it in a poetry format. It might work, it might not.