loveholic

Hey there Kat here to review for you for review day!

Wow...
can I say that again....
wow.....

AMAZING!

But, two things. the second line and the eighth line the wording is a little iffy and it makes your idea go hazy for a second, though I love your rhyming to death and the overall expression and idea behind the poem is wonderful. I'm not very good with grammar but yours seems spot on so nice job there. I really liked how you started with how in love this person is and then elaborated and showed that something might not be quote right with their love with the other person ad gave a sense of foreboding. and then with the part about the diary making it seem like they wrote this poem out of their love and worry or sadness for what might have happened or might happen to their beautiful romance. I liked the third and fourth line too because sometimes I wonder if I love the person I love because of how genuinely caring they are towards me and how happy they seem with me or if it's just because that's how I feel for them...maybe a little of both? For once I find myself wishing your poem was longer because I really loved how you wrote this and want more. I guess I'll just go read some more of your stuff later then. But the size for this poem despite my greed is actually quite flowing and it fits the style very well to best convey your emotions to the reader. Nicley done and I look forward to reading more of your works.
Keep it up
~KAt

Hello, fellow teammate!
My name is Strange and I have a review for you.
I'm sorry if this is a sour note to start on, but I hate Valentine's Day and how people perceive love. I think its all false information and bogus. Apparently, its all love and happiness though it always ends badly. I don't see why people don't realize this? Its right in front of them. I guess you're asking, why do you have a romance film as your avatar Strange? Simple, the way Spike Jonze portrays love in Her is how love should be. True emotion. Anyways, on to the review
I ironically really did like this poem. You did show emotion, though generically. I have no problem with that, as long as your emotion shows. You showed it well. The way you set up the pattern is good, the words you used are good, really everything is good. I really did like your poem. Nothing much else to say.
Overall, good job
Strange gives you...
9.2/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy.

-My Sash Says Ultraman! Ralph says yes!-

Hey! I have to say I really liked this piece, it was a topic that is a bit of a cliche in the world of poetry, but it was done in a way that didn't seem overly cheesy or overused.

The second line is worded weirdly in my opinion, though. When you ended the line with tries, I thought you would go somewhere and describe what it tries in the next line, but instead it shifts ideas completely. I would either reword it so it ends the idea on that line or add a line so it resolves and describes what it tries, instead of leaving an open idea in the middle of the poem.

I think the rhyme scheme is nice, but if you're going to do a simple love poem, I would mix things up instead of doing an equally simply rhyme scheme. These are just suggestions, though. I would use something that still gives a sense of rhyme, but not trying to force it every two lines. Also, you don't have to use the same rhyme scheme every stanza, you could mix it up and use ABCB in the first stanza then switch to ABCA in the second or something like that, it gives the reader something new and refreshing.

All in all, I think you did a very good job with this poem and I hope to read more by you soon. As always, keep writing and have a great day!