Chapter 6

by velvetcatsz

Published August 21, 2026

12+ Violence Mature Content

In MERCY: Full Novel

I spot Dylan just before he disappears past the trees. Watching my feet, I carefully follow his trail. I crouch behind a large bush. One wrong step, and I’m dead.

He hasn’t noticed me. At least, I don’t think he has.

Axel told me to gather information. It’s for the pendant. That’s what I keep telling myself as I trail behind him.

Dylan weaves between the trees, never looking back. I keep a fair distance, ducking behind shrubbery or trunks whenever he stops. The deeper we go into Cobra, the more unfamiliar it gets.

I glance down at my feet. I know there are traps scattered all through their territory. I can’t afford to get caught in one.

I look up again. Dylan’s gone. Stopping, I scan the trees. Nothing. He’s just simply…vanished. Where did he—

“You can come out now.”

Dylan’s voice murmurs beside my ear. I whip around. He’s standing right behind me, staring. My heart nearly stops as I stumble backward.

Crack.

Dylan’s expression shifts immediately. “Don’t. Move.” His voice is tense. I glance at my foot. The ground has sunk slightly beneath it. “What do I do?” I ask, my chest tightening in panic. “Dylan!”

He circles to my back. “There’s no way to disable it,” he mutters, his voice strained. “Then what am I supposed to do?” I gasp. He doesn’t answer. The ground shifts beneath my feet again. Dylan’s eyes widen.

“Help!” I scream, my head thumping. He glances at my foot. His jaw tightens. Dylan takes a step closer.

“What are you—”

The ground gives way beneath my feet.

Dylan lunges. His arms slam suddenly against my waist, knocking the air out of me as I tumble to the ground with a hard thump. But he doesn’t land with me. He’s at the edge. I hear the trap snap open beneath him. Spikes shoot upward, gleaming in the afternoon sun. Dylan jerks backward, barely avoiding them. One grazes his leg, tearing through the bottom of his pants.

“Dylan!” I scramble to my feet and grab his wrist. “Raven!” He gasps. “Come on!” I shout at him, my feet digging into the ground, pulling him. He manages to get one knee up, and together, we haul ourselves onto solid ground.

I breathe hard, my chest rising and falling rapidly. “You’re bleeding,” I pant, noticing a deep scratch on his ankle where the pants tore.

“It’ll be fine,” he breathes.

“You almost got impaled,” I snap.

He raises an eyebrow. “Who’s fault was that?”

I freeze. “Sorry,” I mumble.

“What are you even doing here?”

“I—”

He snorts. “Don’t lie, little Blackbird.”

“I was following you,” I admit.

“Why?” His eyes narrow.

“I…was curious,” I say quickly. He sighs. “You said that last time.”

“You disappeared,” I murmur. “I wanted to know where you were going.”

“Why?” He scoffs again.

“Do I need a reason?” I say, my fingers curling against the soft grass.

“When you’re trespassing, yes,” he mutters, standing up.

“Where are you going?” I ask, getting to my feet.

“I’m going back,” Dylan murmurs. “To Cobra.”

“You can’t just leave me here,” I protest. He cocks his head to the side. “Why not?”

“I’m going to walk into another trap and get myself killed,” I admit. A faint smile tugs at his lips. “Do you think I care?”

My eyes narrow. Dylan laughs. “I’m joking. I’ll escort you to the border.”

“You really shouldn’t be here,” Dylan observes as he steps over a couple of leaves scattered on the ground. “Yeah, well, too late.”

“Brilliant observation,” he says dryly, glancing at me.

“I know right?” I joke. He rolls his eyes. “Hurry up. I have stuff to do.”

“What stuff?” I ask curiously.

“You don’t want to know,” he mumbles. I raise an eyebrow. “Now I do want to know.”

He sighs. “Of course you do.”

“Is it a secret?”

“Yes.”

“Dangerous?”

“Maybe.”

“Interesting?”

“Little Blackbird.” Dylan stops in his tracks, looking slightly amused.

“What?”

“Stop asking questions.”

I look at him for a moment. He’s so…different from what I imagined an assassin to be. “Stop staring too,” he mutters, turning back to the path. “You’re just like a little kid,” he murmurs under his breath.

“I heard that,” I say flatly.

“Awesome,” he says.

I roll my eyes, following him. I realize Dylan’s taking a completely different path. “Where are we going?” I ask, dread creeping up my spine.

“The border.”

“Why aren’t we going back the way we came?”

“That trail isn’t safe.” Dylan points to a spot in the ground. “Avoid that.”

“No kidding,” I scoff. “How are you not dead?”

“I’m from Cobra, little Blackbird,” he chuckles lightly. “Technically, you’re an enemy.”

I stare at him. “Technically?”

“Don’t get used to it.” He steps over a few tree roots. Finally, he stops. “We’re here.”

I recognize Eclipse’s territory immediately. “Thank you,” I murmur, crossing the boundary with relief.

“You’re not welcome,” he replies.

“Did you find anything?”

I shift uncomfortably under Axel’s expectant gaze. “Nothing useful.” Axel stares at me for a moment longer, sighing. “Did you try to find information?”

I hesitate. “I followed him.”

“That didn’t do anything?”

“Nope.”

“Try something else next time.”

I have a very strong urge to argue. But I know better. Instead, I dip my head. “Very well.”\

“Don’t waste my time,” Axel murmurs.

“Alright,” I say as he turns to leave. Deep down, I do know. Some of Cobra’s traps. Dangerous paths. Dylan’s route. I don’t know why I’m keeping it from him. All I know, is that I don’t want Axel knowing.

I haven’t gotten closer to the pendant. Not yet. But now I knew where Dylan went. And I know how to get there.

Maybe that’s all I need.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
4revgreen
Review
4revgreen wrote a review Review · Aug 22

Hi! I'm excited to get back into this!

First, I agree with Tikaya below that not much happens in this chapter, but I think it can work if you give it another purpose, like setting up relationship dynamics. There's mainly dialogue and some action, so I wonder if you could drive the story a little further using those. Obviously, I can't predict exactly where it's going to go next, so that's up to you!

Observations whilst reading:

I spot Dylan just before he disappears past the trees. Watching my feet, I carefully follow his trail. I crouch behind a large bush. One wrong step, and I’m dead.

He hasn’t noticed me. At least, I don’t think he has.

Axel told me to gather information. It’s for the pendant. That’s what I keep telling myself as I trail behind him.

Dylan weaves between the trees, never looking back. I keep a fair distance, ducking behind shrubbery or trunks whenever he stops. The deeper we go into Cobra, the more unfamiliar it gets.

I glance down at my feet. I know there are traps scattered all through their territory. I can’t afford to get caught in one.

I look up again. Dylan’s gone. Stopping, I scan the trees. Nothing. He’s just simply…vanished. Where did he—


I think this could all be one paragraph if you used a few longer sentences to tie the shorter ones together! Then it feels a bit more like a progression of a scene than actions/thoughts that happen one after the other, if that makes sense?

Dylan’s expression shifts immediately. “Don’t. Move.” His voice is tense. I glance at my foot. The ground has sunk slightly beneath it. “What do I do?” I ask, my chest tightening in panic. “Dylan!”

He circles to my back. “There’s no way to disable it,” he mutters, his voice strained. ““Then what am I supposed to do?” I gasp. He doesn’t answer. The ground shifts beneath my feet again. Dylan’s eyes widen.


Bits in bold should be on a new line! This is the only place it happens though, so you have 100% improved, well done!

“Raven!” He gasps. “Come on!” I shout at him, my feet digging into the ground, pulling him. He manages to get one knee up, and together, we haul ourselves onto solid ground.


oops, here as well XD

“It’ll be fine,” he breathes.

“You almost got impaled,” I snap.

He raises an eyebrow. “Who’s fault was that?”

I freeze. “Sorry,” I mumble.

“What are you even doing here?”

“I—”

He snorts. “Don’t lie, little Blackbird.”

“I was following you,” I admit.

“Why?” His eyes narrow.

“I…was curious,” I say quickly. He sighs. “You said that last time.”

“You disappeared,” I murmur. “I wanted to know where you were going.”


I really like this whole back-and-forth exchange, but I think you could weave some more detail in. Maybe she describes what Dylan's face looks like, or what he's doing as he speaks rather than just a lot of simple dialogue tags? It would make it feel a bit more rounded. Since we are in Raven's head, it would be nice to know what sort of details she notices.

User avatar
Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review Review · Aug 22

So and now to Ch6, like I originally planned XD
(I do like that Ch4 gives more context to why Raven doesn’t want the pendant anymore in Ch5! Tho I still think she should have a bigger reflection on it. Something to keep in mind if you ever come back to revise these chapters!)

Hmmm I kinda wish we would know more abt the pendant by now. At the very least why Axel is so obsessed with it. Something that can get Raven on his side too. To make the situation less clearly sorted into good “let the kid keep the pendant” and bad “Axel is just greedy and Raven desperate for his approval for some reason”

I’m a bit confused on how she found Dylan in the first place tho? Like, did she just walk into the enemy territory without being spotted? And if they are not in Cobra territory, how did she know where to find him??

Hmmm I wonder abt the feasibility of placing traps ALL over your territory EVERYWHERE. That seems like an exhausting thing to remember for the ppl living there…

Oh I like that you spaced their dialogue after the daring rescue out in accordance to the paragraph rules. I also find this helps in realizing where you have TOO much dialogue and not enough description to go with it. I do like how this conveys the fast pace of their conversation tho.
Just something to keep in mind: have your dialogue be accompanied with ~action~. Someone picking their sleeves, focusing on the trees or the wind, avoiding eye contact. Etc ^^

“Do I need a reason?”
that is NOT a good question, my girl.
“When you’re trespassing, yes,”
Thank you Dylan! Meine Rede!

Uh why is she asking that?
“Where are you going?”
You didn’t describe him leaving?

“How are you not dead?”

“I’m from Cobra, little Blackbird,” he chuckles lightly. “Technically, you’re an enemy.”
I don’t rly understand this dialogue. Why is she asking this? And why does he answer abt her being an enemy? I don’t… I don’t get it qq

Hmmm again I feel like nothing much really moved the plot along this chapter. The only significant thing is Dylan getting hurt in the trap. I feel like you could have had this happen alongside some more significant development? :3

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You're a hairy, wizard!
— EllieMae