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Zombies of Mariesville | Ten

by vampricone6783


*This is part ten of my series “Zombies of Mariesville” and the final part. This story is underneath my folder titled “Zombies of Mariesville” and Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs <33”. Enjoy!*



Luisa was in her Grandparents’ living room, with the pictures of much younger versions of Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, and Uncle Fisher. There were glass vases of different colors, and the box TV over the black nightstand.

Only, there was a little girl sitting cross-legged on the floor, in front of the box TV. She was in a 1980s pink nightgown, watching cartoons. The TV was the only light in the room.

Even from just looking at the back of her, Luisa could tell that it was a younger version of her Mom from how her brown hair curled. There was a specific technique that Grandma did to make Mom’s hair especially curly, it was seen in family photos and talked about in stories of nostalgia.

Mom seemed to be enjoying the cartoons, not paying attention to the hulking silhouette of a woman with long, stringy hair, reaching out with her claws, prepared to snatch her away, just like she did with Oliver. Because the only ominous woman’s silhouette that Luisa had come to know and dread was that of Helena, and the eldritch, bony claws were all too recognizable in the dim TV glow.

Only, that wasn’t what was going to happen, because that was her Mom, and her Mom lived long enough to start a family, so why would a demon take her?

But then…how would she defeat the likes of Helena? Was there something else that Luisa didn’t know?

The child version of Mom abruptly turned away from the TV and let white and pink sparks flow from her hands, encircle her, all while the child version of Mom chanted:

“Rot back into your pit of Hell

All of your energy will dispel

Never again will you come for me

Down into the flames

You’ll never be free”

Luisa was sucked back into the house, the fight with Helena still going on, the memory of her Mom as a child still very strong.

So all she had to do was let her magic flow from her hands and say a little chant? Her Mom was a witch from what Luisa had seen, and her Mom must have learned the chant somewhere, but it didn’t work for long, because Helena was thriving well into the present.

Speaking of which, both she and Jackson were using immense amounts of their magic to keep Luisa down, Jackson’s magic coming out as green flurries while Helena’s magic came out in black flurries. It felt like she was being pressed down by a titanium bar. Any attempt at trying to get up, she was pushed back down.

Next to her, Luisa heard Marie chant:

“Your presence I trap in the walls

Your presence I forbid from my halls

Your evil will leak out no more

Your heart, it lies cold on the floor”

Helena slightly flinched, but regained her stoic pose. Jackson smirked, as though none of them had a fighting chance.

“It…it worked before! Why isn’t it working now?!” Marie cried out, her voice strangled with tears and pain. Luisa couldn’t turn her head around to see Marie’s face, but she could tell that Marie’s eyes were in the same wide-eyed, wild state they were in when she, Luisa, and Josette found the field of vivus plants completely destroyed.

“She’s grown stronger since the last time you trapped her. There’s so much that your cute poem won’t do.” Jackson said with a grin.

A thought struck in Luisa’s mind. There was Marie’s chant, and Mom’s chant. Both were awfully short, and none kept Helena locked away for too long. It was like they were painkillers. They could calm down the problem for a bit, but the problem itself would never completely go away.

Luisa’s plan may not have worked, but she decided to give it a try anyway. From her shaking lips, she let the song flow out:

“Your presence I trap in the walls

Your presence I forbid from my halls

Your evil will leak out no more

Your heart, it lies cold on the floor

Rot back into your pit of Hell

All of your energy will dispel

Never again will you come for me

Down into the flames

You’ll never be free”

From Luisa’s body there flowed an indigo-blue light, which at first was not much, like a calm river. Helena and Jackson stayed with keeping their imprisoning magic on Luisa, and Luisa was still trapped.

But then, her magic began to swell, to break away the bonds that were breaking her down, and right in front of her, Helena began to bleed.

Helena bled black blood, her screams were more like deep, bellowing roars, and when she had finished disintegrating, Ava and Oliver whooped and hollered in joy.

Jackson’s green eyes were tainted with tears, he seemed like he was on the verge of breaking down. He staggered away from them all, not looking behind him, but then, the very man that was all strung up from the plastic tubes of blood in the room that Luisa, Ava, and Oliver saw earlier, only, the man wasn’t tied up, but free.

He caught Jackson in his arms and brought him down to the ground, brushing away his tears. Luisa didn’t hear much of what he was saying to Jackson, but she heard enough to decipher the truth:

“It wouldn’t have helped me live long at all. Killing them would have only made them miserable, and using them to keep me alive would have made me a zombie as well. Jackson, don’t cry. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”

Jackson seemed to calm down a bit after the man-Elvis-spoke to him. Elvis’ form faded to what he truly was: A thirteen year old boy. Jackson had to hold him as they both began to chip away from reality, his green eyes holding many regrets.

Marie stood still for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her eyes.

Then, she walked out of the room and gestured for the others to follow her.

………………………………………………….

Before they had left the abandoned palace, Marie took a vivius plant with her outside and crushed it into bits. She then placed her hand over the crushed bits, and in the decaying roots of old trees, it flowed out in gold. Nobody understood what she was doing until they all went back to Mariesville and saw that everything was back to normal, and then Marie said that her magic in letting the vivus plant bits travel to Mariesville helped the town become human.

Oliver, in his curious, childlike manner, asked Marie why the town was named after her, for before Marie teleported them all back to home, Luisa told him the names of everybody that he did not spend much time with.

Marie responded gently that she trapped Helena in the walls of her home years ago after what happened with Jackson and Elvis that the citizens regarded her as a hero and named the town after her. Marie then commented on the fact that she was “lucky” to have someone “smart like Luisa” around to figure out that the two chants were intertwined, or else they would have all died, because Marie did not know that there was a missing part of her chant.

Luisa asked Marie if Helena was really gone, if she really wouldn’t come back, and if Jackson and Elvis were finally resting in peace.

Marie said that she felt it inside her that Helena disappeared for good, that the last time she trapped Helena there was a distinct feeling inside of her like a feather brushing by her innards that lasted for a few minutes, but that the feeling was not present at all when Luisa sent Helena to Hell. Marie took it as Helena being gone forever.

As for Jackson and Elvis, Marie wasn’t sure, but that she hoped so. She said that she would only be able to know after she died.

Ava’s red eyes became their original brown color, and her spirit passed on to Heaven to be with her father. However, she sometimes went down to Earth to pay her old friends a visit.

Oliver recognized his mother and father somewhere in town and embraced him, for while he was trapped in the house, his parents had turned into zombies.

Luisa, Josette, Braden, and Charles went back to their families, Marie disappeared into a lavender orb, and then, even the orb was gone. She had vanished from their lives just how she appeared in their lives.

Time went on, and the zombie incident was rarely ever talked about. The four of them became adults, with minds that were slightly changed as the years went by. Josette and Braden married each other, Charles and Luisa married each other. Later on, Luisa gave birth to a girl she named “Lola”, and vowed that she lived a life free of the troubles Luisa and her friends faced as teenagers.

One can promise all the things that they want for their child. It doesn’t mean that it will be true. Demons will come out to hurt the vulnerable just because they can, people will become rotting husks, barely recognizable from previous years, and sometimes, that sweet, desired path to freedom isn’t so clear.

But the best thing anybody could ever do is keep going and hope for the best, because if they resign to their fate, then they’re destined to die.


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Sun Sep 15, 2024 7:37 pm
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hello there friend! ^^ I am finally here with a review for you! (Sorry it took so long! My life has become hectic and I can barely catch a breath, but I've been so excited to read the last chapter of this suspenseful series!)

And oh my gosh did you deliver! There's so much I thought was really cool - let's break it down, shall we?

I love the descriptions in the beginning with Luisa seeing into the past. These visions of other things happen for her a lot, don't they? It's a clever way as the author to show things Luisa couldn't possibly have known. I think, though, this could have been elevated if we knew why Luisa knew these things. For example, if there are clues earlier on that she has magic, and it's known that witches can see the past and other events from things they never experienced, then Luisa's "visions" may be more believable and more engaging.

Honestly though, I love the scene about Luisa's young mother temporarily banishing Helena away. I love the description, the action, and Luisa piecing it all together.

But then…how would she defeat the likes of Helena? Was there something else that Luisa didn’t know?

You're very good at leading us as the reader from one thought to another, and good at guessing what the reader is thinking about. Luisa wondering how this happened and how everyone is still alive if Helena had visited her mother? Obviously something happened, and it's truly an amazing way of leading the reader through what's going on and also shows us a bit of Luisa's thoughtful and logical nature.

The ending after the end, aka, basically the section equivalent to an epilogue was well done. I can clearly see how the future unfolds, and I love how the little pairs of girlfriend-boyfriends end up being together <3. To me, the 'epilogue' part didn't feel too rushed or too slow. Oh and I can already imagine what's going to happen to Lola with that ominous ending there - I can sense some after-the-end-of-the-story potential from Lola there.

However, the ending, as in them defeating Helena and Jackson did feel a bit rushed. For me, it was the poems. I don't quite understand how they fit with the story, as neither had been mentioned before the chapter. It feels like an easier way to end the story than piecing together some elements that could have been used later to put it all together again, but that's just my opinion. However, I really liked the poems themselves; their rhyming scheme was really good and it didn't feel very forced. It made sense with the story (which can be hard to do) and they were just cool in general. Overall, I think if you just added some elements either earlier in the story that connected with the ending, or took some elements from earlier and connected them to the ending, it would feel a little bit more natural.

However. This ending is amazing. I feel like everything has been wrapped up very nicely, and besides what I've already mentioned, I don't think there are many loose ends!
I love the addition of this:
Marie disappeared into a lavender orb, and then, even the orb was gone. She had vanished from their lives just how she appeared in their lives.

The end connects right back to the beginning! I especially love this part; I love it when authors can bring a story full circle, and you have done just that!

I'm really sad about Ava, but I'm glad she got to go to heaven and can still visit Earth. It honestly feels like the perfect ending for her.

I hope Jackson and Elvis are alright wherever they are. They weren't perfect, but I hope at least they are together, and maybe they can end up being better. Maybe Jackson will get a redemption arch, who knows? :D

It's good to know Helena's gone, but now I'm really curious how she turned out that way? You may have mentioned something about that in the past, which in that case, I'm sorry I don't remember, but it'd be interesting to know why she was so evil and why she was the way she was. Also, has her influence on anyone else impacted anything? Is there more to her story than we know? Is this not truly the last we'll see of this demon, or is there any remnant of her presence?

I do have a question, because I'm curious ~ What do you think of this story? Was it what you hoped for? Was it better? Different? I don't often finish my stories XD so I'm curious what you think, as you finished many over the years, right?

But the best thing anybody could ever do is keep going and hope for the best, because if they resign to their fate, then they’re destined to die.

And the very ending - those last lines. They sum up everything perfectly, all while offering a beautiful final moral for the reader to take with them as they go about the rest of their day. It feels so complete, and it leaves a feeling of contentment, while also allowing for the story to be added on in the future, as you said you'd add some extra things, I believe? Even if you don't, I think this is one of the best endings that could have been added to this story. I love it all, and thank you for letting me come on this zombie filled journey! Your writing is so unique and very fun to follow - is there any other ongoing story you're in the middle of that you'd like to suggest I pick up?

Thank you again for sharing. It's not always easy to let your story out into the world and and let stranger's eyes gaze upon your masterpiece, but this was so much fun and I'm glad I could be a little part of it. Please keep writing; you're growing your skills so much each time! Hope your day is full of cute animals and spooky ghosts, and hope you're excited for a spooky season coming up!




vampricone6783 says...


I%u2019m very glad that you enjoyed reading this. I wrote this story a long time ago, so I deleted the original writing and edited it to be more detailed. I really like how this turned out, and I do hope that there was enough zombie stuff and that the magic parts weren%u2019t overpowering the zombie parts.

I think it%u2019s interesting to see how my own writing has changed after a few years. It%u2019s interesting for anyone, I believe.

I have a lot of stories, but I think that you could read my %u201CSiren%u2019s Desire%u201D series if you want.

Thank you so much for reading and yes, I am insanely excited for the spookiest of all seasons.



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Wed Sep 11, 2024 2:20 pm
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DeadMenTe11N0Tales wrote a review...



Gosh, you are amazing at writing supernatural stuff!

what I liked:

- Luna's name lol, its just a nice name.

-How you wrapped up the story, it reminded me of this book I read once.

- The desperation (I know it sounds weird lol) It felt real.


What could've been better:

-The pacing, I feel like this ending was a little rushed. but that's just me.


Thats it!

Keep writing, and keep on being you!




vampricone6783 says...


I%u2019m glad you enjoyed. There%u2019s more underneath my folder titled %u201CZombies of Mariesville%u201D in case you are interested.

What story did the ending remind you of? I%u2019m curious. ^v^




i don't need to search the stars to know myself
— soundofmind