Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Short Story » Fantasy

12+

Wolfe’s story-Eloise the demented doll woman

by vampricone6783


*This origin story leaves off from the previous one “Carmine-Eloise the demented doll woman” ,so if you read that first,you’ll understand this.You can look at Gacha Club character designs on my wall.Enjoy!



Wolfe found his wife dead on the floor.He realized that maybe she collapsed from the shock of giving birth and having to take care of Marcie.He helped her out.But in the end,she gave her away.

Wolfe held a funeral for her.When he went back home,he found a blond mannequin lying in the doorway.

"What is this?" He asked himself,walking closer to it.

The mannequin stood up,grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him inside.

"W-What are you doing?" Wolfe asked.

"I'm Eloise and I saw your wife die.I thought that maybe I'd have fun with you." Eloise said,leading him upstairs.

Before he could do anything,she pushed him off the banister and he hit the floor.His head made a sickening "CRACK" noise.

........................................................................

Wolfe woke up in a dark cave,in the forest.He was with Eloise.

"Where am I? Is this Heaven?" He asked her.

"This isn't Heaven.I wanted to kill you for fun,but then I changed my mind and turned you into a vampire instead.What’s more is that your daughter,Marcie,is linked to you.I made her linked to you.Which means she’s a vampire like you.Also,you're trapped in this cave.If you tried to leave,you'd get zapped back into your spot." Eloise said.

Wolfe got up and tried to leave.Sure enough,he got zapped back into his spot.

"Toodles!" Eloise squealed,walking away with a smile on her face and waving him goodbye.

Wolfe sat down and frowned.He may not like this,but maybe,just maybe,the change might be good.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments


User avatar
688 Reviews

Points: 56536
Reviews: 688

Donate
Thu Jan 27, 2022 1:39 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever her with a review!!

Ah well, this was a pretty interesting continuation of Carmine's story. I see that Eloise has entered the story in some manner. Hm... It's very intriguing why Eloise really turned this Wolfe into a vampire. I mean previously, she was very interested in dealing with children but now she seems to be interested in adults too. I wonder why she suddenly thought of turning him into a vampire and also is she thinking of extending all her cruel activities to the adults too? Perhaps. Things are getting worse here, I see.

Seems like this Eloise is interested in the parents of the children she kills or turns into vampires. I wonder what she will do next. Employ this vampire into some work or something. I do sometimes wonder about Eloise. Like she is very cruel and everything else evil but still killing people for fun... this appears to be a bit childish... I don't know why.

Jumping into the next, i.e., the second part, I wonder how did this person actually know that he was in a forest. A cave always need not be in a forest. Hm... This Eloise is a bit different from the previous Eloise. The previous Eloise was interested in children and did all the business in the boutique. This Eloise seems interested in adults and the forest. Ah I wonder what Wolfe will do now. He will not be able to leave the place and he will not die too(Vampires are immortal... At least internet told me so). It seems to be more painful that death itself. Hopefully, he will find some way to escape.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




User avatar
3224 Reviews

Points: 339576
Reviews: 3224

Donate
Wed Jan 26, 2022 4:16 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Wolfe found his wife dead on the floor.He realized that maybe she collapsed from the shock of giving birth and having to take care of Marcie.He helped her out.But in the end,she gave her away.

Wolfe held a funeral for her.When he went back home,he found a blond mannequin lying in the doorway.

"What is this?" He asked himself,walking closer to it.

The mannequins stood up,grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him inside.

"W-What are you doing?" Wolfe asked.

"I'm Eloise and I saw your wife die.I thought that maybe I'd have fun with you." Eloise said,leading him upstairs.

Before he could do anything,she pushed him off the banister and he hit the floor.His head made a sickening "CRACK" noise.


Well this is different, it seems we've got Eloise targeting someone that isn't a child from the looks of things. I don't believe that we've seen that particular side of here before. It looks like she's branching out a bit by this point, or perhaps there is some sort of exception here that makes this person special but we don't really know of any of that quite yet I suppose, perhaps the scene after will maybe tell us a bit more of what led to this particular moment. At any rate, this one seems like it'll be a bit of a different scenario from the previous attacks that we saw.

Wolfe woke up in a dark cave,in the forest.He was with Eloise.

"Where am I? Is this Heaven?" He asked her.

"This isn't Heaven.I wanted to kill you for fun,but then I changed my mind and turned you into a vampire instead.Also,you're trapped in this cave.If you tried to leave,you'd get zapped back into your spot." Eloise said.

Wolfe got up and tried to leave.Sure enough,he got zapped back into his spot.

"Toodles!" Eloise squealed,walking away with a smile on her face and waving him goodbye.

Wolfe sat down and frowned.He may not like this,but maybe,just maybe,the change might be good.


Okayy..so this is not quite the sort of eternal torture Eloise did with the children or at least here initial plan seems to have been different although clearly from what we see here, she went with the eternal thing anyway. Eloise does seem to have a liking to make people suffer forever. This little spell situation to keep the person from leaving is an interesting one too, I don't know how that will impact him as this vampire figure since we don't really know what being a vampire means in this particular world, but at any rate, this is a neat little detail I think. I almost wonder if this is the first person Eloise targeted just for a kill even though she didn't go through with it. She seemed to want to really hurt children but here this seems purely for enjoyment with no reasoning.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry






A little explanation:Eloise has decided to imprison Wolfe and turn him into a vampire,because she knows he will suffer more.She%u2019s targeting him because he saw her and she will not let anyone who sees her tell others about her.

She wanted to do different methods of torture for her victims,which is why she traps him in a cave and makes him a vampire.She will visit the cave and give him meat to suck blood from.

His daughter,Marcie,becomes a vampire because they are linked.She finds Wolfe in the main story and he helps her on her quest to defeat Eloise.



HarryHardy says...


Ahh, thanks for the extra info!!





You%u2019re welcome!



HarryHardy says...


:D




Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto (I am a man, I don't consider anything human foreign to me)
— Terence