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Sarah’s story-The last sister

by vampricone6783


*This is another origin story from my story:“Eloise-the demented doll woman.“ It’s also one of the last origin stories that doesn’t play signifigance to the main story.Eloise,Leona,Anthony,Esmé and Helena are the only ones so far that are important.I’ll be posting two more origin stories that aren’t important and the rest will be important.As always,you can look at Gacha Club pictures of Sarah on my wall.Have fun!

In the 1960s, there was a young woman named Sarah, Sarah Blake. Sarah Blake was the youngest out of her four older sisters.

Now, what are the names of the sisters? Well, the fourth sister who was a little older than her was Ariana Blake, the third sister who was a little older than them was Eloise Blake, the second sister who was the second oldest was Emily Blake and the oldest sister was Lyra Blake.

Being the youngest out of four others makes one very content, soft and confident, if not cocky, for one has older siblings and other people to take care and help them in life.

Their parents were very old and had died. In their will, they left different things for the different girls.

The third sister, Eloise, gained their family's dusty old boutique shop and was trusted to run it.

Sarah didn't care. That place was boring, anyway. She had been given the family jewels. Plus, their family was a family of witches. They could get on in life better than others.

Soon, Sarah would care, because Lyra wanted her and all of their other siblings to go visit and help Eloise with her boutique.

Lyra, being the oldest and the most stubborn, wouldn't let anyone get away from working with Eloise.

So...they all visited and helped her.

........................................................................

Sarah noticed something odd whenever she went to help Eloise.

Eloise was acting..weird. The way she looked at children in her shop was..unpleasant.

Eloise looked as if she wanted to take them away and rip the skin off their bodies.

But if Sarah ever brought the matter up, her sisters would wave her off and reprimand her for telling lies and tall tales about their sister.

So, Sarah was left to worry about Eloise.

The good thing about this was that Eloise was visited by a young lady named Leona Fitzgerald, who she looked at as her own daughter.

Maybe Eloise wasn't as crazy as Sarah believed she was becoming..

...She hoped Eloise wasn't crazy..

.........................................................................

One very life-changing night, on the month of October, Sarah and her sisters were going off to a Halloween event and wanted Eloise to come.

Eloise was said to be at her boutique, so they went there.

They couldn't find her anywhere, but they did find Leona, so she helped them look for Eloise.

Nothing..

..Still nothing..

....

They went to the backroom..

...

Sarah screamed in horror!

There was Eloise, murdering a child!  She wasn't even using her powers to hurt the child.

Somehow, that made what she was doing even cruller.

Sarah knew that something was up, but murder? Out of all things, murder?

The worst thing was that Eloise looked like she didn't care, that she had done this before.

Lyra nodded at the sisters grimly.

All knew what they were thinking.

They had to kill Eloise, before she killed anyone else.

It wouldn't be an easy or fun thing to do, because Eloise was their sister, whom they have known since they were innocent children.

But they weren't innocent children anymore. They had to do what must be done.

The ladies used their witch powers to move a bookcase, which hovered over Eloise, dropped on her body, and crushed her.

Leona cried and rushed to Eloise, screaming curses at the sisters and so desperately praying that Eloise was alive.

Sarah and the others backed away.

That day, Sarah was changed. She was more hostile and she didn't trust people easily.

Why should she? Her sister, Eloise, turned out to be a murderer, so she always had to keep her guard up.

After all, lots of people in the world would love to hurt a young lady like Sarah.

It was for her own good.

Sarah thought back to when she was younger, when her family had to keep their magic a secret from others, because they would be considered outcasts.

She remembered that they had a legacy...for what?  To keep their magic going for years?

They only used it when they needed to and that was very rare.

She remembered how she accidentally let her magic out at her human school and was called a freak by her classmates.

Eloise defended her and promised to protect her when the other sisters weren't there.

Eloise promised her..

..Why did she break that promise?

Sarah as an angel:

Before you say anything, no, Sarah didn’t die from old age. She died from stress. She was 36 years old when she died, but her hair and face make her look older. Ever since Eloise killed that kid, she hasn’t been the same since. She’s always been cautious and worried.


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Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:39 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This was an interesting read. A part of it was just the repetition of the previous part but I liked how you went further and described a lot more on the emotional aspects. That's great.

Sarah seems to be a good person. Hm.. she might be a bit wealth-affectionate and a bit self-centered but eh, I don't think she is that bad. Like she seems to tgink a thousand times about the murder they did and actually appears to be very attached to her sisters, at least emotionally. It's quite sad that she died from stress in a very young age. I wonder about the other causes of her stress. Was the fact that her sister was trying to murder a child the only cause? I don't think so.

Okay so Lyra seems to be the only person who is actually interested at helping Eloise. Neither Sarah nor Emily seems to be interested. Forced helping is something pretty disgusting, I think. Anyway, I do wonder if there was any cause behind it. Perhaps.

I have come up with a theory about Emily murdering children. Maybe some evil power was responsible for that. Like when witches are coming into picture, that can be a thing and it kind of justifies the fact why they killed Emily. Maybe they couldn't just remove that influence from any person who has been endowed with that. So, killing them is the only way. Hm...

Overall, I think this was a great development from the previous origin story. I really liked reading it.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




vampricone6783 says...


You%u2019re right,Sarah didn%u2019t die from stress just because Eloise killed children.

She died worrying about who she should trust.Sarah has always trusted her sisters and to find out that one of them is a murderer,that really hit hard.She doesn%u2019t know who to trust anymore.

She is wary and too cautious after this experience.



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Thu Dec 23, 2021 11:27 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: OKayy...this was actually improved from the other ones. We saw a lot more emotion in that ending and it was built up to with a lot more information that made it a lot more impactful I think.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In the 1960s,there was a young woman named Sarah,Sarah Blake.Sarah Blake was the youngest out of her four older sisters.

Oh,how rude of me! I forgot to tell you their names.The fourth sister who was a little older than her was Ariana Blake,the third sister who was a little older than them was Eloise Blake,the second sister who was the second oldest was Emily Blake and the oldest sister was Lyra Blake.

Being the youngest out of four others makes one very content,soft and confident,if not cocky,for one has older siblings and other people to take care and help them in life.

Their parents were very old and had died.In their will,they left different things for the different girls.


Okayy...so this is a slightly different tone it seems you're aiming for. Previously the narrator was fairly flat and just sort of well narrated thing, but this seems like there's a little bit more of a personality to our narrator here. That's certainly an interesting change amongst a now rather familiar set of opening lines.

The third sister,Eloise,gained their family's dusty old boutique shop and was trusted to run it.

Sarah didn't care.That place was boring,anyway.She had been given the family jewels.Plus,their family was a family of witches.They could get on in life better than others.

Soon,Sarah would care,because Lyra wanted her and all of their other siblings to go visit and help Eloise with her boutique.

Lyra,being the oldest and the stubbornest,wouldn't let anyone get away from working with Eloise.

So...they all visited and helped her.


Okayy...well now this is starting to sound more and more like very few people at this boutique actually wanted to help out in terms of running said boutique. Also we now finally get proper confirmation that the entire family is in fact witches and have been for some time I assume considering the whole family history and museum things we saw earlier related to magic.

Sarah noticed something odd whenever she went to help Eloise.

Eloise was acting..weird.The way she looked at children in her shop was..unpleasant.

Eloise looked as if she wanted to take them away and rip the skin off their bodies.

But if Sarah ever brought the matter up,her sisters would wave her off and reprimand her for telling lies and tall tales about their sister.

So,Sarah was left to worry about Eloise.

The good thing about this was that Eloise was visited by a young lady named Leona Fitzgerald,who she looked at as her own daughter.

Maybe Eloise wasn't as crazy as Sarah believed she was becoming..

...She hoped Eloise wasn't crazy..


Well...now things get a little more different from most because we have the one and only sister that actually seemed to sense that something was a bit wrong with Eloise. Hmm, and that particular look she's describing there does certainly seem like it would be very concerning to see in general.

One very life-changing night,on the month of October,Sarah and her sisters were going off to a Halloween event and wanted Eloise to come.

Eloise was said to be at her boutique,so they went there.

They couldn't find her anywhere,but they did find Leona,so she helped them look for Eloise.

Nothing..

..Still nothing..

....

They went to the backroom..


Well we all know where this is going I suppose...I do like this version, it seems a lot more like we're building suspense to a moment rather than it being thrust upon us a little fast as it tended to be in some of the other ones.

Sarah screamed in horror!

There was Eloise,murdering a child! She wasn't even using her powers to hurt the child.

Somehow,that made what she was doing even cruller.

Sarah knew something was up,but murder! Out of all things,murder!

The worst thing was that Eloise looked like she didn't care,that she had done this before.

Lyra nodded at the sisters grimly.


Well...this is now going in a much more fun direction. I love that you've changed things up in this and we're now getting to see a little more of what properly happened in this scene rather than the much more rushed version that we had earlier.

All knew what they were thinking.

They had to kill Eloise,before she killed anyone else.

It wouldn't be an easy or fun thing to do,because Eloise was their sister,whom they have known since they were innocent children.

But they weren't innocent children anymore.They had to do what must be done.

The ladies used their witch powers to move a bookcase,which hovered over Eloise,dropped on her body,and crushed her.


Ooof, well this is leading to what I think is a much better end here with this emotion a bit more on display and with there being a bit more description for the scene to really sink in better as well.

Leona cried and rushed to Eloise,screaming curses at the sisters and so desperately praying that Eloise was alive.

Sarah and the others backed away.

That day,Sarah was changed.She was more hostile and she didn't trust people easily.

Why should she? Her sister,Eloise,turned out to be a murderer,so she always had to keep her guard up.

After all,lots of people in the world would love to hurt a young lady like Sarah.

It was for her own good.


Well...this is interesting, we get to see a little more of how this particular sister spent her life after the whole Eloise fiasco and I think its a pretty realistic reaction as well to see how she would spend the rest of her life in this particular manner.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I think this is looking pretty improved from the much faster paced ones I saw earlier and I think its pretty enjoyable too as a story. There's just a bit more substance to this one than some of the ones for the other sisters.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





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— Plato