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12+ Violence Mature Content

Luke’s story-Ghost House

by vampricone6783


*This is the origin of a character from my “Ghost House” stories. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. You can read the stories that connect to this underneath my folder titled “Ghost House”. Enjoy!*



In the 1800s, there was a man named Luke Lawerence, who was married to a woman named Desdemona. They had a daughter together named Elaine, a young, kind lady.

A young, kind lady who was dating someone.

The lucky man was Nelson and..

And Luke didn't like him. Not one bit. He couldn't pinpoint why, he just didn't like the way Nelson looked at his daughter.

Like he wanted to kill her.

Maybe he should just listen to his wife, who said that Luke was only imagining, but...he couldn't help but look at Nelson and wonder what was going on inside his head.

.....................................................................

One night he was taking a stroll in the woods next to an abandoned house, when he heard it.

Screams. Loud, penetrating, helpless coming from the house.

Luke ran towards the noise and found...

Elaine, a bloodied, mangled, broken mass on the floor, a knife stuck in her chest. Nelson stood above her, just as a monster would over their prey.

“You…you…” 

There were no words to express the pain that Luke felt. No words to describe how he clenched his fists as Nelson laughed gaily, without a care in the world.

“What? Scared of a little blood?” Nelson asked, eyes sparkling with joy.

He may have stuck the knife in her chest, but he had no real strength. Luke walked around Elaine’s sad heap and grabbed Nelson’s shirt collar.

“What are you-“

“If you say another word I’ll break your neck.” Luke said through gritted teeth.

He dragged Nelson away from the cabin and walked on the path back home. He’d be sure not to wake Desdemona and would most certainly bury Elaine properly, to where the angels would take her in their loving arms.

Oh Elaine. Why, why did you stay with him? Why didn’t you leave? Luke thought, tears in his eyes. 



He bit down on his bottom lip to stop the sobs. He couldn’t cry. Not in front of Nelson.


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Sat Mar 02, 2024 3:34 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This is quite the little tale here. Amongst all the more mystical ones we have just a nice good ol' stabbing here and I think you did a wonderful job making it just as interesting and intriguing here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In the 1800s, there was a man named Luke Lawerence, who was married to a woman named Desdemona. They had a daughter together named Elaine, a young, kind lady.

A young, kind lady who was dating someone.

The lucky man was Nelson and..

And Luke didn't like him. Not one bit. He couldn't pinpoint why, he just didn't like the way Nelson looked at his daughter.

Like he wanted to kill her.

Maybe he should just listen to his wife, who said that Luke was only imagining, but...he couldn't help but look at Nelson and wonder what was going on inside his head.


Ooooh well this is a bit of a different scenario. Usually we've got something a little out of the ordinary somewhere or some amount of strange occurrences to focus on but this time its seems we're dealing with something that's a lit bit more common here.

One night he was taking a stroll in the woods next to an abandoned house, when he heard it.

Screams. Loud, penetrating, helpless coming from the house.

Luke ran towards the noise and found...

Elaine, a bloodied, mangled, broken mass on the floor, a knife stuck in her chest. Nelson stood above her, just as a monster would over their prey.

“You…you…”


Oh dear well that escalated in a direction I really wasn't expecting that to go in, especially quite so early in the tale but then again I suppose we were pretty much angling towards going for a big powerful finish there and this definitely fits the bill.

There were no words to express the pain that Luke felt. No words to describe how he clenched his fists as Nelson laughed gaily, without a care in the world.

“What? Scared of a little blood?” Nelson asked, eyes sparkling with joy.

He may have stuck the knife in her chest, but he had no real strength. Luke walked around Elaine’s sad heap and grabbed Nelson’s shirt collar.

“What are you-“

“If you say another word I’ll break your neck.” Luke said through gritted teeth.


OOoh well that's quite an interesting detail that he's just standing there savoring all the horror but at the same time sort of frozen as well allowing the other man here to come in and seize some modicum of control back.

He dragged Nelson away from the cabin and walked on the path back home. He’d be sure not to wake Desdemona and would most certainly bury Elaine properly, to where the angels would take her in their loving arms.

Oh Elaine. Why, why did you stay with him? Why didn’t you leave? Luke thought, tears in his eyes.



He bit down on his bottom lip to stop the sobs. He couldn’t cry. Not in front of Nelson.


Well that's definitely quite the ending, oddly straightforward that one amongst all of the others that have really much more cryptic endings that leave us a little open to speculation.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall a short but very punchy piece that one certainly laying right into you with just how direct and almost a little bit visceral that it happens to be with the pacing. Looking forward to seeing more.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




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Fri Jan 19, 2024 4:49 pm
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yourlocalsatanist says...



I love this so much. it's amazing. I can't put into words how good this is. I love the characters and I hope to see many more amazing works. I am still reading previous books and other amazing things you have created thank you for sharing your works




vampricone6783 says...


I%u2019m glad that you like my stories! ^v^



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Mon Jan 01, 2024 6:32 am
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Isbah wrote a review...



hi! I haven't read your Ghost House stories and I don't know if maybe I was supposed to read those for this to make sense to me? But now that I've read this, the Ghost House stories are where I'm headed next.
When I read this,
"He couldn't pinpoint why, he just didn't like the way Nelson looked at his daughter.

Like he wanted to kill her."
You have me hooked at this point.
And I especially liked the last few lines,
"He couldn't cry. Not in front of Nelson." Maybe this makes me relate to Luke more and I like him better as a character. You've also expressed his protectiveness of his daughter well.





And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened.
— Bartimaeus of Uruk