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Lucifer-The misadventures of a man named Lucifer

by vampricone6783


*Another origin story from my story:”The misadventures of a man named Lucifer.” This time,with Vanessa’s little brother,Lucifer,who is the main character in the actual story.As always,you can look at Gacha Club character designs on my wall.Enjoy!



Once upon a time,in a place humans all know as Hell,The devil and his adult son were screaming at each other.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT! IF YOU DIDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT WITCH WOMAN,WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!" The devil screamed.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD CHOSE TO BE WITH A VAMPIRE INSTEAD OF ME! IT'S HER CHOICE!" His son yelled back.

"That vampire man is bad news.He's going to damage the entire family.He already damaged your lover,Moira.Who knows what he will do next?" The devil asked softly.He never said anything softly and when he did,it was bad news.

"If I can't convince her to not be with him,she will.She'll see his evil.I know." The other man said.But he wasn't so sure..

......................................................................

Meanwhile,Moira and the man's six year old son,Lucifer was playing with his toys and watching his older sister,Vanessa,use her powers.She fascinated him.

Vanessa was a witch.She and their mother were the last two witches who had colorful hair.(Vanessa had purple hair and their mother had orange hair.) If witches had colorful hair,that meant that they were extremely powerful.

Lucifer was a witch,too.But he didn't have colorful hair,his main power was barfing up acid and he was six years old.Having powers wasn't important to him.

He didn't understand why their father didn't like witches.They were wonderful!

He lived happily with his family,for some time.

But one day,Vanessa walked up to the window...

....and jumped.

Lucifer cried.He saw the whole thing.

The most frustrating thing was that he could feel himself forgetting Vanessa...

"No.I don't want to forget you.." He whispered.

.......................................................................

Lucifer woke up.Why was he looking out the window? There was nothing to see there.

"LUCIFER! IT'S DINNERTIME!" His Mother screamed.

He ran downstairs to the dining room,to where his parents were.

Lucifer was confused.Something was off.

"Where is my sister?" Lucifer asked.For some reason,he felt like he had one.

His parents looked puzzled.

"Sister? You don't have a sister." They said.

He shrugged.

"I guess not.I just thought.." He said quietly.

"Hey,would you like to get ice cream later?" His Mother asked him.

He grinned.Lucifer wished he had a sibling to share it with.Then,the ice cream would be sweeter..


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Tue Dec 20, 2022 11:20 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This really completes the story of this family quite well I think. Its very powerful to see those tragic events play out through the eyes of the youngest member who seems to have lost so much happiness without ever being able to play a part in anything.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Once upon a time,in a place humans all know as Hell,The devil and his adult son were screaming at each other.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT! IF YOU DIDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT WITCH WOMAN,WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!" The devil screamed.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD CHOSE TO BE WITH A VAMPIRE INSTEAD OF ME! IT'S HER CHOICE!" His son yelled back.

"That vampire man is bad news.He's going to damage the entire family.He already damaged your lover,Moira.Who knows what he will do next?" The devil asked softly.He never said anything softly and when he did,it was bad news.

"If I can't convince her to not be with him,she will.She'll see his evil.I know." The other man said.But he wasn't so sure..


Well that's something you don't see everyday. You know Mark is absolutely bad news when the literal devil is screaming about someone being evil and a bad influence. I can sense the devil here is only really mad about Lucifer being taken away from them and into the hands of Mark but its still a powerful moment and makes for an interesting little prologue almost to this situation.

Meanwhile,Moira and the man's six year old son,Lucifer was playing with his toys and watching his older sister,Vanessa,use her powers.She fascinated him.

Vanessa was a witch.She and their mother were the last two witches who had colorful hair.(Vanessa had purple hair and their mother had orange hair.) If witches had colorful hair,that meant that they were extremely powerful.

Lucifer was a witch,too.But he didn't have colorful hair,his main power was barfing up acid and he was six years old.Having powers wasn't important to him.

He didn't understand why their father didn't like witches.They were wonderful!


Ooooh well this is interesting. We get to see quite how old Lucifer was and I thought he'd be too young to really understand but it seems he was old enough to know the gravity of some of the things happening and to have developed a proper relationship with his sister. That though just makes things even sadder here.

He lived happily with his family,for some time.

But one day,Vanessa walked up to the window...

....and jumped.

Lucifer cried.He saw the whole thing.

The most frustrating thing was that he could feel himself forgetting Vanessa...

"No.I don't want to forget you.." He whispered.


AHHH that line is so powerful there. Its so simple but from a six year old who so very clearly adores his sister and given the state of the rest of the family, a sister that was probably little Lucifer's entire world it just makes it that much more impactful here. It puts an entirely new reason to be rather sad about that whole moment.

Lucifer woke up.Why was he looking out the window? There was nothing to see there.

"LUCIFER! IT'S DINNERTIME!" His Mother screamed.

He ran downstairs to the dining room,to where his parents were.

Lucifer was confused.Something was off.

"Where is my sister?" Lucifer asked.For some reason,he felt like he had one.

His parents looked puzzled.

"Sister? You don't have a sister." They said.

He shrugged.

"I guess not.I just thought.." He said quietly.

"Hey,would you like to get ice cream later?" His Mother asked him.

He grinned.Lucifer wished he had a sibling to share it with.Then,the ice cream would be sweeter..


Well that's an interesting point to end on. Even though we see that clearly the spell worked on Moira and Mark, Lucifer seems to be powerful enough and maybe attached enough to his sister to have some chance of remembering. Even thought the ending is still tragic here I love that it leaves us with a tiny bit of hope that maybe one day at least Vanessa and Lucifer can reunite.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I really love that you managed to reinforce how much Vanessa meant to Lucifer and how that relationship will continue. The little tiny bit of hope at the end is all we have to rely on for the possibility that maybe this family can be free of Mark and find some happiness and as a big fan of happy endings I am going to cling onto that thank you very much.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sun Feb 06, 2022 7:11 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This was a great origin story. I liked how a lot of unexpected things took place in this story. Anyway, into the review. This was, honestly a bit confusing, the first part I mean. Like from what I understood, the son of devil loved the witch and married her and had a child which is Venessa. The question, now is why did he even allow his wife to be with the vampire? I mean of course, the witch has complete freedom to be with the vampire and take her daughter along with her but eh, I don't know. The devil's son seems way to good to be a devil's son. Also, why did you really include that part here? This was supposed to be Lucifer's origin story and I don't see how Lucifer is directly involved in that. I would very much like an explanation for this.

Secondly, I guess I pointed this out earlier but the age doesn't match. The incident(the jumping, I mean) happened when Lucifer was 3 years old. Taking that into account, Venessa was 13 years old. Or the ages of witches do not increase or maybe can be controlled?

I never thought that Lucifer was a wizard. How so? Like his father was a vampire and his mother too became a vampire after his father bit his mother. So, it's actually a bit odd that Lucifer was a wizard. Like anyone could be a wizard? Also, he forgot everything! That kind of seems impossible. How was that done now? Oh, I don't know but I would very much like some explanations to be included in the story itself so that th readers can get some ideas about everything that is taking place here. From my weird imagination, I can see him being thrown out of the window too and then he got injured and that resulted in the loss of his memory. Perhaps or perhaps not. Maybe someone jinxed him. I wonder who that person is. Also, I just wanted to point this out. Lucifer kind of seems to be an adult or at least not a 3 year kid. This needs to be taken care of.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




vampricone6783 says...


I mean,If that%u2019s how three year olds don%u2019t talk then I%u2019m changing his age to six.

But not that much time has passed.That%u2019s why Vanessa is still ten,why Lucifer is still three.If you want me to change his age,I will.

And that devil man is Lucifer%u2019s father.

The man Moira is married to isn%u2019t his father.

The devil man and Moira%u2019s kid is Lucifer.



vampricone6783 says...


And Lucifer doesn%u2019t have good memory.



vampricone6783 says...


But I will change Vanessa and Lucifer%u2019s ages.



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Sun Feb 06, 2022 2:08 am
Broady771 wrote a review...



Hi there vampricone6783, Broady here with a quick review!

I guess the first thing that catches my attention the most is with regards to the spacing of the words after a punctuation (e.g. after a comma or a full stop). It is not a very big problem, but me, being someone who's used to reading stories that have proper spacing, am kinda annoyed about that. But, it's up to you if you want to do that or not because it's up to your own preference. Once again, just want to say here, it isn't a very big problem.

Secondly, the way the story is progressing is quite interesting in my opinion, and I'm actually hooked. For example in the second section you mentioned something about colorful hair and how it might affect how powerful a witch could be. Well, I'm curious as to how powerful a witch in your story could be and what kind of powers do they have. Perhaps you would be elaborating more on that in your next few entries?

Lastly, the ending with a cliffhanger is terrific. I mean, the fact that he saw his sister in the dream but in real life he didn't have a sister is just really fascinating. I'm eager to find out what happens in the next entry. Anyways, keep up the good work, and hope to be able to read more of your works in future!

Edit: It appears that you have already published quite a few entries in your portfolio, and I haven't exactly read most of them yet, so I apologise if any part of my review is somewhat incorrect or has already been covered by other entries that you've posted.




vampricone6783 says...


It%u2019s fine.Thanks for reviewing and reading!




Don't be sad bc sad backwards is das and das not good
— LadyMysterio