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Young Writers Society


16+ Violence Mature Content

Circus of horrors

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*I hope you all enjoy this story I wrote! Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Now, let us begin!*

Chapter One

Once upon a time, there was a little six year old girl named Abigail Marie Wallace and a sixteen year old boy named Charles Larson. Abigail was a little ball of energy and hopefulness and she had so much love to give to this world.

Charles was hired by her parents to babysit her and watch over her. Now, at first, he was annoyed that he had to babysit someone so little, but soon, they became close friends.

Charles worked at a circus. He’d dress as a clown. He’d also take Abigail there and show her the circus. She was absolutely delighted!

However, on Abigail’s seventh birthday, her family took her to the circus Charles worked in, a day which would begin in joy and end in sorrow.

She was in a tent, all alone, when, from out of nowhere, a cloaked individual came behind her and raised a gun.

Charles, still in costume, had just so happened to show up in the tent and tried to get in front of her, to block her from the attack. He even tried screaming for help.

But, they both died. Right there.

His dead body was holding Abigail’s. It was quite a sight, seeing someone dressed as a clown holding a little girl so tenderly in his arms, their dead bodies filling the carnival with blood and broken dreams.

This is where our story begins.

At the circus of magic, death, tears, and horror.

Chapter Two

Right now, there are more people in the circus of horrors other than Charles and Abigail.

Abigail became mouthless and had wings. This happened because her spirit was so sad and distraught, her mouth disappeared and she gained the ability to fly. She can talk, but only through telepathy.

Charles used to stand at six feet, but ever since he died, he became eight feet tall and gained claws. He looked more…monstrous after his death, because he was vengeful and he knew what happened was unfair.

He’s also in a relationship with a sixteen year old boy named Andrew. Andrew is also a clown and he died from a hatchet to his head, right when he was performing.

Andrew became a demon clown, just like Charles, courtesy of his vengeance (and maybe their young ages have a possibility).

There was also an eighteen year old ballerina named Qetsiyah. She died from getting cornered in the circus and being stabbed to death. Her young face was the most messed up, shattered and twisted. She covers it with a black veil.

There are the twins. Elaine and Miles Degrassi. They were only fifteen years old, the kids. They did death-defying acts together.

But one day, when they were on a high board, they fell to their doom.

The twins could now crawl on things akin to the way spiders crawl.

The last two. The magician, Malcolm, and the ringmaster, Teresa. The only adults there. Malcolm was twenty-six years old and Teresa was thirty-three. Still young, but older than the others.

Malcolm was sawing a lady in half when, suddenly, the stage lighting fell on him and crushed him to the ground. The woman was spared, but stunned.

Teresa, with the knowledge that everyone else had perished, tried to escape, but got locked in the house of mirrors and was trapped there for three months. She starved to death. Thing is, no one else was around to lock her in.

They may be dead, but they swore to get justice on their murderer and do what was right.

Chapter Three

PRESENT TIMES-ABIGAIL

Abigail, bored out of her mind, was staring at a very interesting hole inside the…what did Charlie call them? “The Big Top!” Yes, she was staring at a hole in The Big Top circus tent, which was quite the hole-

She heard something. FOOTSTEPS? Was someone going to JOIN her?

Abigail could hardly contain her excitement. She ran over to The Big Top flap, lifted it up-

That wasn’t a performer.

That was a LIVING woman in some very large heels walking on the dirt. A living, BREATHING woman.

She couldn’t just not tell the others!

“GUYS! Someone is at the circus! A LIVING someone!” Abigail screamed happily. She could still speak without a mouth. Abigail didn’t know how and she never wanted to.

Like all living people, the woman didn’t hear her. Only when the living noticed them would their ears be open to their voices.



Chapter Four

“What took you guys so long?” Abigail moaned. Everyone had taken forever to show up.

“Some of us are busy.” Charlie said. He was nice, but he was very annoying sometimes.

Like now.

“Busy? BUSY? There’s nothing to do around here, why would you be-“

“Enough! Abigail, can you show us this person?” Teresa asked.

Abigail opened the flap and motioned for the others to look.

The woman was still there, looking at everything!

“By golly, it is a person!” Qetsiyah breathed.

“Just why is she here?” Charlie asked.

“Maybe she’s just…exploring?” Andrew asked.

“Why would she be exploring-“

“People are weird-“

“CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP?!” Abigail yelled.

“You can’t tell us what to do, you’re just a little kid.” Andrew said.

“Don’t curse.” Charlie said.

“Look, the important thing is that we can’t let this woman see us.” Teresa said.

“But what if she can’t see ghosts? She won’t notice us then.” Abigail said. Why did everyone have to be so bleh? Why couldn’t they be excited, like her?

“Would you like to take that chance?” Teresa countered.

Abigail didn’t reply. She did have a point.

The woman was looking right at them.

The woman smiled.

Chapter Five

PRESENT TIMES-CHARLES

It was no use leaving. She already saw them.

The woman calmly walked up to their tent.

“I’m Miriam. It’s nice to meet you.” She said once she got close enough.

“My name is Abigail and I’m so happy to see you!” Abigail beamed, sticking out her hand to shake, then put it away, remembering that she was dead.

“Miriam? Now where did I hear that name?” Charles asked himself. He thought he heard that name before, but he couldn’t place it.

Andrew just smiled softly at Miriam, but Charles could tell that it was fake. He never smiled without showing his teeth. Ever.

“Hello there.” Qetsiyah said, curtsying. Really, did she have to curtsy?

“I’m Miles and this is my sister, Elaine!” Miles grinned, pointing to Elaine, who only rolled her eyes.

“My name is Teresa and that over there is Malcolm, Charles, and Andrew. It is a pleasure to have you.” Teresa said. Malcolm waved a gloved hand politely, Andrew continued his fake smile, which Charles would promptly wipe off later.

He couldn’t be the only one concerned about a human being acknowledging their presence.

Chapter Six

No one else was concerned about Miriam. Not one person. Of course Abigail would trust her (she trusted just about anyone she met) but really, why couldn’t anyone else-

Dead bodies. The stench of it was everywhere!

Charles wrinkled his nose.

He knew that smell. He smelled right after they died, right after…

Right after Abigail’s English teacher, Mrs.Miriam, had killed them all.

Mrs.Miriam, who had appeared after her other teacher disappeared, so conveniently, too.

No one knew much about her. Her eyes were pitch black.

Why were they so dark?

Charles stepped out of the tent and followed the smell.

Chapter Seven

He could see it now…a party just for Abigail…birthday cake and sweet treats…she was so happy…happier than when he usually visited her…she insisted that it was “The best day ever!”

Then he couldn’t find her.

She was just gone. No one else had seen her.

And he looked in the tent, only to find her standing there, stunned. Mrs.Miriam was holding a gun straight to her face. There was no hesitation. She was about to pull the trigger.

He jumped right in front of her-

BANG!

Chapter Eight

He ripped open the flap to a smaller tent.

There she was. Mrs.Miriam.

Except, she was a tall, pale thing with winding down claws. She had ink black tears oozing from her void-filled eyes.

“What are you? Why are you here? Why did you do this?”

“Don’t you see, Charles? It was all to survive. All so I can live. So I can thrive.” Mrs.Miriam said, getting closer to him.

The world around him was fading…Clarissa…Clarissa, his sister! Riding her bike…eyes filled with joy…and…wait…Miriam?! She was standing right there on the road…she watched as that…that car crumpled her poor body…

“It’s so I can live, like you once did.” She whispered, putting a claw on his shoulder. He jerked away.

Chapter Nine

“I don’t care what you are! You…you hurt everyone!” Charles said. She may have once lived, but…how could he…how could he care for someone who destroyed…everything?

Miriam shook her head.

 She said. Charles could feel himself fading away…fading-

“I think it’s time that you see yourself out.” Teresa said, clapping her hands.

Miriam sank to the floor, screeching and melting away.

Chapter Ten

“How…how did you do that?” Charles asked. Teresa was once a human, just like the rest of them. She wouldn’t have the power to do what she just did.

“When you feel connected to a place like me, you can choose who stays and who goes. Your essence connects to that place.” Teresa said.

“Is everyone else okay?”

“They’re fine.” Teresa smiled, resting a hand on Charles’ shoulder.

“I’ll be outside.” Teresa said, removing her hand and walking away.

Miriam was gone, which meant that they were all free and could go to Heaven, but…

He still felt like something needed to be done.


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Mon Mar 13, 2023 5:36 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hello!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

General impressions: Its been a while since I reviewed one of your stories. Still, it was easy to step into your familiar narrative style. Its very unique actually - almost like stepping into a world of whirlwinds where things just keep on escalating until the mystery unravels at the very end.

Description and Setting:

This story had almost all those elements. I liked the idea of a circus of dead - especially because when we think of a circus, we usually imagine a place of laughter and entertainment and joy. The name of the story is a contradiction in itself and I feel like you could have really explored that route by establishing a more solid setting. For example, the little bits of description you provide are strictly related to the plot of the story, like 'the Big Top' of the tent. It becomes a little difficult to imagine the scenes because you have hardly provided us with enough visuals to spark our imagination. Besides, providing more descriptions and establishing the setting could add more of a 'horror vibe' to the story which would have gone well with your theme.

Characters:

I really liked your characters. We don't get to stay with them for long, but their distinct personalities were very evident in the few interactions they shared with one another. Still, they complemented each other well, even though not everyone's presence was felt at all times (which is quite impossible to achieve when you have multiple characters in a short story). The chemistry between all the characters made their banter especially entertaining and infused humor in scenes that would otherwise have been considered as intense. I especially loved Abigail, who came across as a trusting and endearing individual, especially in contrast to Charles, who is more serious and intense.

However, my one complaint regarding the characters would be the way you introduced them in the story, almost like you were checking down items on a list. It becomes a little difficult to remember their stories or even be interested in learning about them when you go about presenting them in such a mechanical way. I think if you had intermingled their stories with dialogue, perhaps told us their stories through conversations they had with each other, the readers would have felt more invested in learning about them.

Plot and Narration:

Now, coming to the plot of the story, it was quite interesting. The mystery element added a bit of suspense to the narration as we waited to find out what role Miriam played in the story. However, as interesting as it was, the plot was also a little disjointed and difficult to follow. Especially around Chapters 6, 7 and 8 - I felt as though the climax of the story happened and I was just reading words without really realizing what was happening.

“I don’t care what you are! You…you hurt everyone!” Charles said.

This part made me think that Miriam had killed all the ghosts at the circus to survive? It seemed as though she was in the background of all their deaths, so I was a little confused what she needed from them now that they were all dead? I think these parts require a little clarification in the story because they definitely affect the reading experience of the story as a whole. Readers cannot really enjoy the story if they do not understand it.

Also, I am not very sure about this, but it seemed to me that Chapter 6 was a flashback (since Charles was thinking about the time Abigail died). I am not sure, of course, but in case there were flashbacks in the story, be sure to italicize them or just mention its a flashback, so that your readers don't get confused.

Overall: This was definitely an enteratining story and it contains all those eccentric themes that make the story uniquely yours. It was a little disjointed in the middle and difficult to grasp, but I liked the united front all of them put up at the end. The ending was also a little ambiguous so it definitely makes me wonder if it was an ending at all or if there's more to come!

Keep writing and have a great day!




vampricone6783 says...


Chapter Six has one flashback element and that is when Charles thinks of how Miriam killed them all.

Glad you enjoyed!



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Thu Mar 09, 2023 5:12 pm
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SkyJayde wrote a review...



Hey there! First of all, I wanted to stay great story! I like how it has multiple characters who all seemed to have played a role in the circus.

Second, the story is hard to follow. I found myself often getting confused on what was happening. The flow of the story is kind of choppy. Skipping important details which could’ve made the story more easy to follow. There are also some parts that I just didn’t understand.

i.e. “ Abigail became mouthless and had wings. This happened because her spirit was so sad and distraught, her mouth disappeared and she gained the ability to fly. She can talk, but only through telepathy” then it proceeds to say “ She could still speak without a mouth.”

Did she speak telepathically or did she actually say something aloud?

Third, I don’t believe all these chapters are necessary. Some chapters are short enough to be combined with another. I understand that when switching views a new chapter would be helpful but for Abigail’s view I don’t think it was necessary to split it into two different chapters.

By chapter 8 my confusion intensified. Did Teresa follow Charles into the smaller tent? When Abigail saw Miriam was she human or a ghost?

Lastly, maybe just a few more sentence holding more context and explaining a little bit more of everything really would be helpful. Otherwise, this really holds the potential of becoming a great story should you choose to continue it. Nice work!

☁️SkyJayde☁️





We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.
— Ernest Hemingway