Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired— sick with mental illness that no one will recognize as anything other than a choice, and tired of never seeing change. I’m tired of walking down the street and getting yelled and hollered at. Was it my choice to be born with a body that’s a pear, the fruit that seems one of the most delicious in the minds of the men that litter the streets and pray on anyone with breasts and feminine features. I’m sick of the grown men who look me over like I’m something obtainable when in fact, I’m barely legal and have already been taken. I don’t feel safe in a crowd anymore. I can’t go out alone anymore. I’m scared that a cat call could turn into a rape if I take one wrong step, or look at them for too long. I’m tired of seeing victims, male or female, who come forth to testify their injustice, only to be told by the justice that they were to blame, or their pain wasn’t real. I’m sick of being afraid that I’ll be joining them.
I want to feel that being beautiful is something I can attain and I want to be proud of my curves and face and hair. Instead I feel like a polished turd; I’m too short, I’m too fat, I’m too plain, I’m too masculine, I’m too fake, I need long hair, and a perfect body, and no cellulite. I’m told that I’m just like a girl— like any other girl in the world because I care for my image and want to be beautiful. But in truth I don’t want beauty: I want acceptance. Because in today’s society if you’re proud of your body, you’re a skank, and if you’re insecure, you’re a prude, and if you’re sexy, you’re asking for it, and if you’re ugly, you’re desperate. Never before have I wanted to fit in- I’ve always enjoyed standing out- but now I’m afraid because I don’t want to be bullied. I don’t want the judgmental words or the taunts or the eyes that will follow my every move and determine my worth based on the cover of the book that is me. A book that no one truly seems to want to read.
But because of the eyes that I feel on the streets, and in the halls, and in the lunch room- even at college where the people are definitely older- I can’t honestly believe I’m beautiful. Because when my boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful, I have to consider that these words are lies to reach a goal— because I know I am desirable because I always feel those eyes. I have to force myself to decide to trust the words that leaves his lips because there’s no way to tell until it’s already too late.
I’m sick. I’ve been sick for a while. Sick with depression and anxiety, and the pain of the world doesn’t help. But when I turn and I tell my friend that I was cat called, they don’t tell me that I should report them, or that they’re scum bags; they tell me, “it’s just something you have to deal with.” But if you know me then you know that I don’t deal with injustice, even when it comes to other people. I forget the color of my skin when I see a black man that is killed by the white police for ambiguous reasons, or when I remember people like Tamir Rice who were literally children, and ripped away from their mothers and fathers due to the tyranny of injustice. I forgo the pain that I feel inside to get swallowed up in the pain of others. I don’t even know when my pain turns to panic, but when it does, I’m an endless singularity of dark negativity that has ruined days and crushed relationships. I’m a person who is inside or outside. I won’t stand in the door.
I’m sick of being so black or white, because I shouldn’t have to take sides. Until I can be sure that I will be paid what I deserve as a person, and that more people won’t be killed due to prejudice, I must remain a duality. But I live in a world where girls need to be “pretty, but not too pretty,” “nice, but not too nice,” “assertive, but not too assertive.” I’m sick of my mental illness being pushed off because I “should be able to work through it” and then turn around and see someone treated specially because they are mentally ill. I’m tired of not being able to tell if my boyfriend is telling the truth because of the eyes that lay upon my body whenever I venture out of my house because no matter what I wear, if I’m raped, they’ll find something on me that made them “think” I was “asking for it.”
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Hi! Amddog here for a review!
First thing I want to say is, I hope none of this sounds to harsh, I'm all about constructive criticism, however in boundaries. If any of this sounds harsh I'm sorry.
So when I first opened this poem I was very surprised. It's not very, poem like. Maybe instead of paragraphs you could try making longer lines and stanzas. Sure it will be a LONG poem, but sometimes to stress the point you need a longer passage. I'm with you all the way. I personally hate the way society has changed the image of people today. You stress very good points in this! I'm not one on grammar errors so I'm avoiding those because I'll get them wrong. I love poetry and I believe that it's extremely important to give what you want to say a... rhythm. The way people categorize how girls, and boys, look today is horrible! How do you be "too pretty"? There is no "most beautiful person on the planet" because we are all beautiful. In our minds, personalities, and looks. Also, I have had bad experiences with bullies, but why should we let them drag us down. I find it stupid that the children of our society take all of this bullying nonsense personally!
That's all I have!
Keep up the good work!
~Amddog
Is it really a poem, just opening it i gave a wide mouth wow...
and anyway what is a slam poem that you mentioned in the short description.
please categorize it properly that is all i can say cause at this moment i really couldn't read the full...
It is categorized correctly. This is how a slam poem is supposed to be formatted. A slam poem is intensely emotional and is supposed to come in bursts like paragraphs. This is really a poem. Slam poems are typically spoken, which is why it doesn't look like a poem. If you heard it, it would sound like it.
Okay! Want a review? Well, maybe but I wanna give a review. haha (Running out of poems to review. haha)
So, let's not waste any more time and start the review!
The title was good and the description you wrote was really good and made me get into it and read what's being hidden from me! I still would have loved if you could have used some sort of a punctuation right after the title - something like an exclamation mark!
The poem, itself, didn't seem like a poem! I mean, would you mind changing it's category to something other than the poem, please? To be honest, I didn't feel like this is poem or something! I am really sorry about it. I might be one of those weird old-fashioned guy, who likes to read those stanza form of poems!
The idea was there and I see you telling everything loud and clear but just not in a poetic way! Try writing it as a poem and I'll do anything for you. haha
Try breaking the paragraphs down into small, cute, mini paragraphs. These really big paragraphs confuses the reader a bit.
Overall, I agree with most of what you have said here and it was a good attempt to write such an essay or something! Well done!
Good luck and keep writing.
This is a slam poem, which is arranged like an essay or a non-poem, but has aspects of poetry that define it. Slam poems are a type of poetry expressing a persons personal story and/or struggle usually in an intensely emotional style. Very powerful, sincere, and moving. They're supposed to be like this. I admit, I'm not the best at slam poetry, but this is the correct style.
Hello there, ulala8.
Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.
First of all, I agree completely with all of the points you've raised. As an egalitarian feminist, I think that everyone should be equal regardless of anything. Except, you know, if they're a jerk.
That being said, I think you need to narrow your subject.
Years of training for standardized testing essays have programmed us to vomit everything we have onto the paper in front of us as fast as we can to get the best grade possible if the people grading the test can scrape some grain of deeper meaning from the essay. This feels like a standardized test essay because of the wide subject range and the lack of imaginative language.
Narrowing your subject will help the language variety as well as the feeling of standardized test essay. Pick one of the subjects up there, and choose to write about that and illustrate with imagery and sound and room for motion when you are performing. Use anecdotes. Give the audience a picture. The best slam poets give their audiences pictures.
I think that you have your heart in the right place, but you have quite a ways to go in the realm of slam poetry. I'm going to link you some excellent examples of slam poetry I've heard, in different styles. In order to write slam poetry, you must first meditate on the preexisting.
I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy YWSing!
There may be some language in the videos below:
"An Experiment in Noise in A# Major" by Ken Arkind
"If I should have a daughter" by Sarah Kay
"OCD" by Neil Hilborn
I'm with you all the way on this subject. In fact I'm working on a poem about how twisted society is today, and it deals with the same subject. I hope to post it soon. Thanks for speaking up about this, it's really important and it was brave of you to post this. I'm really sorry you've had to deal with it.
I'll be praying that things change for you soon!
Sorry, not a review, but I would recommend changing the rating from E to something higher. Maybe you could bring up a mature content thing too. I like the message you're trying to send, but you bring up sensitive topics that could go best with a warning. Thanks for reading!