Young Writers Society

This poem has a very deep meaning, not rare to see, but told in a rare way. I loved it, the imagery was beautiful. "I wear sunglasses, but they're not for style.
I wear them only to hide my red eyes." I do like this sentence, however I feel like it doesn't really go with the rhythm that the poem has, however I do like the imagery it provides. "Sometimes, I cry until I can't no longer For my screams of torment have become my lullabies." I love these lines so much, sorry had to add that in. "Tell me, Do know the hell I go through?" And here I'm pretty sure you're missing the u. Overall, a fantastic poem, great work.

Hello tinybookfarie!

This is a very deep, powerful, and emotional poem. It was very brave of you to write it if it was from personal experiences...

I have one pointer:

This sentence right here: 'Tell me, Do know the hell I go through?' I am 100% sure that you meant to put a 'you' in between 'Do' and 'know'.

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

All i have to say is,
Amazing poem!
Feel free to PM me if you ever want/need to talk.

Hi there, Carla here for a review.
This poem is so good.
It has so many emotions that are very deep.
I really like the rhyming scheme, it is very usual but this poem makes it look different, that is what I like about this poem.
It is so sad though, I know how it feels to feel this way, as I have experienced a death, which I still cant get through to me as to whether it is real or not.
I can't wait to read more of your literacy, as this is really good.
If you need anything or any comfort, or questions don't be afraid to ask anybody as we are very friendly and helpful at The Young Writers Society.
Overall this poem is really good, keep up this good work.
Over and out.
Carla

Hey!

I am so sorry if this coming from a personal place, and you feel this consistently. I, too, have had past traumas and have felt this way on many occasions.

I absolutely love the rhyming scheme going on, and I only have a few typos that can be easily fixed to make this an even better piece of art.

In the first line the word now is unnecessary and caught me off guard as a read; as a writer, I would just take it out completely. In the 13th line, the word you is needed after the word do.

In the 12th line, I was caught off guard by the exclamation point. I think it was a masterful way to make the reader slow down and catch on to the word beside it. It definitely made me take a second glance at that line and the word suicide.

You are very talented, and I can't wait to read more of your work! If you ever need anything at all feel free to ask!

~Rascalover

Yes. Yes I do know what it's like. I know how it feels to have your life dictated, to feel burdened with these thoughts. The need to escape, the need to fake it to make it, to make everyone think that you're okay, when you are so broken inside that you don't know if you'll be whole again. I know those feelings. They're old friends.