I've been running now these days
fighting the darkness that keeps me in chains.
I've screamed and cried late into the night.
My silent tears that don't appear in sight.
I wear sunglasses, but they're not for style.
I wear them only to hide my red eyes.
Help me, please. I whisper into the night.
Make it stop, my guardian angel, who knows how to fight.
Sometimes, I cry until I can't no longer
For my screams of torment have become my lullabies.
Falling into a dreamless sleep
Then I would wake up thinking about suicide!
Tell me, Do know the hell I go through?
Or how to handle it all?
Do you, as well, carry a fake smile
and wish to break through your prison wall?
I want to free my soul,
but I don't know how
In my world with no control.
Tell me, Do you know what it's like?
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140,121 Literary Works • 673,028 Reviews
This poem has a very deep meaning, not rare to see, but told in a rare way. I loved it, the imagery was beautiful. "I wear sunglasses, but they're not for style.
I wear them only to hide my red eyes." I do like this sentence, however I feel like it doesn't really go with the rhythm that the poem has, however I do like the imagery it provides. "Sometimes, I cry until I can't no longer For my screams of torment have become my lullabies." I love these lines so much, sorry had to add that in. "Tell me, Do know the hell I go through?" And here I'm pretty sure you're missing the u. Overall, a fantastic poem, great work.
Thank you
Hello tinybookfarie!
This is a very deep, powerful, and emotional poem. It was very brave of you to write it if it was from personal experiences...
I have one pointer:
This sentence right here: 'Tell me, Do know the hell I go through?' I am 100% sure that you meant to put a 'you' in between 'Do' and 'know'.
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
All i have to say is,
Amazing poem!
Feel free to PM me if you ever want/need to talk.
Thx!!!!!!
Hi there, Carla here for a review.
This poem is so good.
It has so many emotions that are very deep.
I really like the rhyming scheme, it is very usual but this poem makes it look different, that is what I like about this poem.
It is so sad though, I know how it feels to feel this way, as I have experienced a death, which I still cant get through to me as to whether it is real or not.
I can't wait to read more of your literacy, as this is really good.
If you need anything or any comfort, or questions don't be afraid to ask anybody as we are very friendly and helpful at The Young Writers Society.
Overall this poem is really good, keep up this good work.
Over and out.
Carla
Thank you soooo much and thank you for following me
Hey!
I am so sorry if this coming from a personal place, and you feel this consistently. I, too, have had past traumas and have felt this way on many occasions.
I absolutely love the rhyming scheme going on, and I only have a few typos that can be easily fixed to make this an even better piece of art.
In the first line the word now is unnecessary and caught me off guard as a read; as a writer, I would just take it out completely. In the 13th line, the word you is needed after the word do.
In the 12th line, I was caught off guard by the exclamation point. I think it was a masterful way to make the reader slow down and catch on to the word beside it. It definitely made me take a second glance at that line and the word suicide.
You are very talented, and I can't wait to read more of your work! If you ever need anything at all feel free to ask!
~Rascalover
Thank you for the review. AND thank you for all the helpful advice. I%u2019ll make sure to think of what you said on my next work!!!!!!!!!! Thx
Yes. Yes I do know what it's like. I know how it feels to have your life dictated, to feel burdened with these thoughts. The need to escape, the need to fake it to make it, to make everyone think that you're okay, when you are so broken inside that you don't know if you'll be whole again. I know those feelings. They're old friends.
Thank you!!!!!!!:)