z

Young Writers Society



Digging

by tigeraye


Heavy rain splattered onto the windshield of the old car, hailing down from the ashen clouds beneath the setting sun. The old wipers creaked and squeaked as they splashed the warm water onto the cold roads. The old wheels rumbled obnoxiously as they rolled staggeringly, carrying the old and lumbering car down the old and lumbering country road, so very far from his comfortable abode. Old, old, old.

He listened to the news on the radio to see what was new in his community, but there was nothing interesting. He turned to the classic rock station, mortified when they started playing Photograph by Nickelback. He cursed under his breath, hammering the radio back off once again.

And so in silence he drove. And he drove, and he drove, and he drove some more until his car came to a creaking halt next to an old creek. He turned an eye to the fuel gauge and low behold – he was on empty.

He got out of the car and hurried over to the back, popping over to the trunk as the rain began to worsen. He grabbed his rusty shovel and turned around, witnessing a single strike of lightning off in the distance. Unfazed by the force of nature, he shut the trunk and took off towards the creek.

Crickets chirped and tadpoles swam to and about. He looked at the shovel and gripped it with one hand, tossing it into the water with a loud splash. He fell to his knees and took a deep breath, absorbing the pain of the fall.

He unfolded his hands and looked to his palms, gazed longingly at his long and narrow fingers. And he dug those fingers into the cold and wet soil, scooping a small amount of earth into his fingers.

He dropped it onto the grass. Looked at the dirt below him and saw he’d created a small hole of his own doing. He stuck the fingers into the hole and clawed it to make it an even bigger hole. His eyes glanced out to the creek, as he wondered for the moment whether or not it was a mistake throwing his shovel away.

He shook his head, returning his eyes and fingers to the dirt beneath him.

Morning came. A wonderful springtime feeling in the air, birds singing and airplanes rumbling pleasantly within the bright blue skies. Dr. Sembagh looked to the creek and saw a young man no older than twenty-five standing there. In front of the young man was a hole, a great big hole in the ground right next to mountains and fields of removed dirt.

“What the hell?” Dr. Sembagh wriggled his eyebrows and curled his fingers in confusion, pulling his car over to the side of the road. “What are you…? Jesus Christ.” He rolled his eyes, exiting the car and storming over towards the man.

His hands on his hips, he stared silently at the young man, and the tired young man stared back at him silently. “What are you doing?” Dr. Sembagh asked.

“I’m digging,” the young man responded. “I’ve been at it for a while now but I still have much more to cover. Did you want to help?”

“Help? Yeah, I’ve got nothing better to do with my day than help you dig holes in the ground,” Dr. Sembagh sarcastically said.

“Then why did you get out of your car?” the young man asked. “Why did you care so much about what I was doing?”

Dr. Sembagh opened his mouth to speak, but the words weren’t there.

The young man shrugged his shoulders, digging his red hands into the gaping hole and removing clunks of dirt from the edges. “Then let me ask you another question,” he said. “Have you ever lost anyone close to you?”

Dr. Sembagh rolled his eyes. “I’m a doctor,” he said. “I’m a very successful one, at that. I don’t have time to be talking to you about my personal life.”

“Then don’t,” the young man yawned, continuing to fling clumps of dirt onto the surrounding grasses. “Just leave me to my digging.”

The doctor turned towards his car, then back towards the young man. He walked towards his car, then towards the gaping hole. “I did lose someone close to me,” he admitted. “I had a nephew once. Name was Marcus. Anyhow, have you ever heard of something called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy?”

“Err…I don’t think so,” the young man laughed.

“It’s a heart condition that Marcus had. I tried my best to find a cure for him, but nothing seemed to work. One day, I got a call from his mother crying her eyes out. He’d died at the age of thirteen, just like that! Right at his school desk. Just collapsed and died, right there, right in front of everyone.”

Dr. Sembagh went quiet, expecting the young man to say something. When he didn’t say a word, the doctor continued. “Marcus always told his friends at school that I'd cure him. That his uncle was a doctor and that he was going to get better. But I didn't. I couldn't cure him, and that was my greatest failure as a doctor and as a human being. Ever since then, it’s been my obsession to find the cure for his disease. I haven’t even slept a full night knowing that there are still kids dropping dead because of that thing.”

“Is that why?” The young man continued digging, not once looking in the doctor’s direction. “Is it because in the back of your heart, you know there are people still suffering from this disease, or is it more like an ego thing? Maybe you’re just hung up about it because you think you can accomplish everything you want, and you can’t get over the fact that you might fail at something every now and then.”

“…”

“…”

Dr. Sembagh shook his head back and forth. “Why did I even get out of my car?”

The young man’s legs dangled inside of the gaping hole, as he once more began pulling clusters of dirt from inside of it. “My mother always said that there’s beauty to be found here on the earth,” the young man explained. “But I’ve been all around the world, and I haven’t found it yet.”

“…”

“My parents are both dead now,” the young man shrugged. “My mother wasn’t perfect, but she never lied to me. That’s why I think there’s beauty somewhere here on earth. That’s why I’m digging.”

“And what happens if you don’t find your beauty in this gaping hole?”

The young man laughed. “Then I just go and dig elsewhere.”

Dr. Sembagh sighed. Looked up to the shifting clouds up above, then down to the creek and gaping hole where the young man dragged clumps of dirt out.

He walked to the hole and sat at the edge, and the two began digging together.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
8 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 8

Donate
Tue Oct 04, 2016 10:31 pm
View Likes
JustinTheAuthor wrote a review...



Great story and I love the ideas that you put into it. I wish it had more details in it because lately the work I have been reading has had much more detail than this story. Yet, I still think that the words you chose for this story were an excellent choice. I love how you explain how this story will go before ending it bluntly. You might want to explain more in some areas in the story to make it even more interesting. I love how you tied the characters love for the Earth into his love for his mother. Great ideas are in the work with this story.




User avatar
485 Reviews


Points: 21027
Reviews: 485

Donate
Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:52 pm
View Likes
Elijah wrote a review...



King Here


My boring talking

Have not read a good short story from very very long time. And this is a exellent one. I really have no complains because you know how to use your vocabulary and knowledge to create a good scenery so we can actually understand what is happening in the story. The sudden appearance of the doctor was a surprise for me and I am not sure if it was a good one. By reading, I started to accept his presence in the story and vision about him also. I think that putting him in the story right off the bat was not the best but it is not such a big deal. Maybe starting with his name and his work was the thing for me. I prefer not being said who the person is right away. I could vision is as a mystery person who reveals himself by speech. Lets leave that aside ha? Everything else is amazing. Every single thing which the normal person would say with two words is extended and shown in a longer and more interesting version, simple tasks or just the rain which is falling on the road. You give life to each thing and even more, to the man who is the main. I should stop talking now.


More of my boring talks

Some corrections/edits which you do not need to follow because I may be wrong or there are more than one way to say the exact thing.


“I had a nephew once. Name was Marcus. Anyhow, have you ever heard of something called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy?”


I do not know if you have left it 'name was..' on purpose but it needs to be 'his name was..'.
If it is on purpose and intended, please ignore this correction.



“Err…I don’t think so,” the young man laughed.


You do not need the comma at the end of the quotes/speech because the person is not talking next or actually pausing/ continuing his talking. The doctor talks next. If the doctor talks and that stops the speech of the man midway, you can use - or the dots but the man had finished talking when the doctor have started after him.

I haven’t even slept a full night knowing that there are still kids dropping dead because of that thing.”


You need a comma before 'knowing'. In other parts (all others not this) you got the comms right or the way you used the comma is one of the ways so I did not think anything else deserves correction. You have sentences like this in which you had put commas to make the sentence right. Maybe you just forgot this one. You have the noun who is the one doing the 'not sleeping' and in general, the action, at the beginning of the sentence. One comma is no thing. I will not explain long and longer because it is obvious you know your stuff.



Hope I helped and good day!




User avatar


Points: 122
Reviews: 2

Donate
Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:00 am
View Likes
DeadRosesCry wrote a review...



I was actually going to read to review just so I could get the points, but I thought that this was really good. I was hooked on the spot. It was a little depressing with all the death talk. I thought that it had a little, good, humor to it as well. It made me smile when the Dr. asked the young man what he would do if he didn't find beauty in the whole, and the young man said he would dig somewhere else. It was cute.





The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451