This is a beautiful yet terrifying piece of work, and I absolutely love it! I really enjoyed how you used your metaphors and how you wrote the piece in general. I also very much liked your introduction.
keep writing
-Heytherebassy
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Welcome to the grip of certain death, brought upon us by lost dreams and forgotten gods. Welcome to a washed up world, where care is the curse and love is for losers. Take your seat, anywhere is fine, but just keep in mind – no matter where you go, nothing ever really matters.
But complaining is crying, so let me swim in an ocean of tears. Caring is cancer so bring me the chemo, would you please? Not like it matters, as long as your heart still beats. For angst is the antidote and your breath is the poison. So let the liars sing and the singers cry because you’re too tragic to do anything.
If you find this cheesy, may a bullet find your heart. Never a second passes where one isn’t soaring through the air. And quite soon, I’ll be soaring through the air as well, because I have no intention for being around when this trio of worlds collide.
Love with the sun. Death with the moon. It’s all the same these days.
This is a beautiful yet terrifying piece of work, and I absolutely love it! I really enjoyed how you used your metaphors and how you wrote the piece in general. I also very much liked your introduction.
keep writing
-Heytherebassy
Very honest! and despite the piece being so concise it summerzied the point beautifully. well done.
Hey, sunshine!
Wow, aren't you quite the narcissist?
That's okay, though, because you're a wonderful writer!
I love love love your voice in this piece. It shows so blatantly, yet so mysteriously.
The figurative language that you employ throughout your work (ex: "So let me swim in an ocean of tears") really speaks to me and probably to all of your readers. Thank you for the imagery! It really lets me into your thoughts.
One thing that I might warn against, though, is thinking that your audience automatically understands everything you talk about. For example, I had a little trouble understanding the meaning behind "So let the liars sing and the singers cry because you're too tragic to do anything". It would be cool if you replied and explained it. What liars? Who are the liars? Why are they singing? What singers? Why are they singing? Do anything about what?
Also, can you explain the "trio of worlds"? What worlds?
Thank you for writing this!
Keep writing, beautiful!
Hey, this is very well written. Your use of your knowledge and understanding of the world really shows through. You use lots of figurative language and a strong vocabulary. Both of these things prove that you know what you are writing. Although you don't fill this with large descriptions your simple ones are just perfect for this.
Good Luck and Keep Writing
Sláinte -Junel
Hey, it's Calla
I love the metaphores, and the way your wrote it. It's a really clever idea, and it shows that the notice the world, which is awesome.
"Take your seat" made me imagine a cinema or a theatre, but the way you wrote it made me thing of possibly an abandoned cinema or theatre - I'm not sure that that was the intention, but I liked it.
I really enjoyed your piece, and keep writing, because it's awesome.
It really shows your intelligence, which is the kind of thing that I love to read.
Calla xx
ok so your work is vary interesting I could not really under stand most things but never the less, your story was pretty ok from a one to a ten I would give you a good six and that is not to bad. keep up the good writing
Points: 471
Reviews: 4
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