Yeah, it probably stinks, but what the heck...
The Unchained Melody
(Verse 1)
That 14 year old over there,
crying right outside her home
That boy stood up, then he was gone,
Now she's all alone.
The radio keeps on playing,
Meaningless song after song,
But then it comes, and she stands up,
She won't be sad for very long.
(chorus)
It's the unchained melody,
the unchained melody,
blown away by the beauty
of the unchained melody.
(verse 2)
10 years later, a brand new home,
with her husband and her son.
Little did that woman know
her struggles had just begun.
His fist pounds down on both of them,
but she couldn't bear to leave.
But one day when she heard that song,
she finally did believe
(chorus)
In the unchained melody,
the unchained melody,
blown away by the beauty
of the unchained melody.
(bridge)
And when that man got home,
All he saw was
the radio playing
Then he found the note that said
she was long gone
and was now praying.
(quietly)
The unchained melody,
the unchained melody,
blown away by the beauty
(loudly)
of the unchained melody.
(still loud)
The unchained melody,
the unchained melody,
(gradually being quieter)
blown away by the beauty
(calmly)
of the unchained melody.
Hmm...
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
i love these lyrics! They rock. my only question: Is this a rock song, quiet soft song, or in between? i think it would help me HEAR the song in my head. i agree with you it would be awesome to be able to see the notes. not that i'd be able to understand it(i can't read notes. i do everything by ear. and i have a pretty good ear for music if i do say so myself. lol!) sorry 'bout the caps, or lack of.
Upadted May 6, 2008.
I marked the chorus, verses, and bridge in the song. I made a few minor changes verse 1, the chorus and verse 2 are still the same, and the bridge has been completely redone. What do you think?
Usually, I spell pretty well. I must be having a bad day. And I seriously couldn't figure out how to spell "beauty". Thanks, now I know.
Since I was only writing the lyrics, I can see how one could not notice that what you might have mistaken for a third verse was actually a bridge. The singer and instrumentalists are supposed to sing/play louder during that verse, and the pacing is also faster than the chorus and verses.
This would be so much easier if I could give you some piece of software so you could hear the notes and rythem.
It's good for a start, but you have a few spelling errors and grammar mistakes. Since 'won't' is a contraction, you need the apostrophe. Also, you spelled beauty and believe wrong. If spelling is not your forte, or if you have days where you can't spell something obviously simple (happens to me all the time,) may I suggest a spell checker?
One thing that you may consider is a bridge. Bridges don't have to have lyrics, but most songs have bridges.
I don't think that 'dang' really fits. You'd be better off cutting it.
This line throws off the rhythm. What I would do would have a semicolon in the line before (at the end) and then get rid of "and then."
I did like the idea the song gave me, of not being connected or held down to one thing, and the way the radio appeared in the beginning of the lyric and then later at the end.