I actually prefer this song to my first, The Unchained Melody. I really should do a fun song next...
Fly
(Verse 1)
I still remember that day
When we began work for no pay
Mom said we’d start recording,
And rise to the task.
But I had to speak up
Just so I could ask,
(Chorus)
What if we fly?
What if we don’t come down?
What if we spread out wings and
Never touch the ground?
I don’t want to leave home,
Or have to say goodbye,
And that’s why I must ask,
What if we fly?
(Verse 2)
One year later I stand
On the stage and try to be grand.
I talk to mom each day,
To heal her broken heart.
I had to leave home
To be great at this art.
She said-
(Chorus)
Why did you fly?
Why did you not come down?
Why did you spread your wings and
Never touch the ground?
I want you to come home,
But I know your reply.
I let you go,
So you could fly.
(Bridge)
My insecurities are gone.
I’m seeing a brand new dawn.
I may be out on my own,
But I know that I’m not alone.
Because-
(Chorus)
Others can fly.
Others may not go down.
Others will spread their wings and
Never touch the ground
Some may never leave home,
But I’m here, way up high.
So it’s comforting to know
That others will fly.
We all can fly.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,456 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
This was amazing. I liked the whole idea to it. There's not much to say, but if I knew what how the song went I wouldn't have to tell you that I was singing it aloud!
It must have been that awesome,eh? 
It's pretty catchy in most areas. I was singing all pop rock and then it went downhill when I started rapping a little...yea not your fault, I hate rap.
"I may be out on my own,
But I know that I’m not alone." That is my fave. line!
Overall this was good. You should keep writing songs,..Thunder Dude.
~Skyy.
i love the "run loser run" thing lol.it's really funny cause that happened to me except my friend was shouting "run forest run" lol. i got her back for that. toatly random question but does any one else listen to music when they read? Or does it distract you. i like your songs there really good. i'm gonna read your stories now.
Oh...yes, I did mean "spread our wings". My bad.
I do have a tune, butit does change a little, I'll work on that.
I liked this. It was sweet and emotional, but it was more about the music and lyrics than about emotions. I had trouble putting a god tune to your verses, which is the problem with lyrics, but the chorus was easy.
I think you mean, spread our wings
I would work on the verses a bit, just so it's easier to put a tune to them. I really liked this bit-
Overall, a very good job. Lyrics are probably the hardest thing to write, and you've done really well.