It comes from all around me,
Swirling above my head.
How do I want to feel?
Which way should I turn?
There, is that a ray of light...
Or just a mirage in the shadows?
Everything is stirred together,
Making me spin dizzily.
The storm rages and hisses,
Yet the sun is still shining upon it.
Vague images form in my mind...
Do I know anything for certain?
Angry wind pushes me away,
But it won't die down.
Emotions I want to understand,
They're just slipping further away.
Somehow, I walk into peace...
But why are my feelings the same?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
Absolutely, positively, amazing.
I felt these two lines, they dont make sense, yet they make so much sense. Great job, Keep Writing!
I thought it was pretty good but is there a certain thing it's talking about? At first I thought it was love but now I don't think so. Overall, it was great!
Hey Teen, I'm Forti. Weird that you describe yourself as a teen weirdo, because it just so happens that I describe myself the same way! Anyways, loved this!
A few errors, never fear, no one is perfect!
I feel like these two questions are saying the same thing. (Maybe that was the point?!) I understand that the person is unsure and confused, but these two open-ended questions left a little too much room for the reader to "create what will happen next." I think it would be better if you allowed the reader to color in pre-drawn lines, instead of painting their own picture. Do you get what I'm saying? This is Lyrical Poetry, so you need to really show your feelings(:
Again, opened ended. I want you to shove your feelings and lyrics in my face!
Overall, very nice. If you need anything else reviewed, don't be afraid to ask!
This was thought provoking, but it could use some polishing up. I enjoyed reading it, though.