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DiSsOcIAtIoN

by stygianmoon17


DISCLAIMER: 

To all the people who have family members, friends, or are themselves inflicted with DID, better known as multiple personality disorder, this isn't an accurate representation of the disorder (quite obviously), so please don't feel offended as this is simply fiction. And no, I am not the kind of person that thinks DID is a super power, as I myself lived with it during my childhood. Now that that's said, on to the story :)

                                     Dissociation

The last time I saw the sun, it was already hanging low in the sky.

‘This is my house,’ the person next to me said. I nodded dreamily, just before it all flashed back in my head. The person next to me was Anna. She was walking with me. I was on a street. My name was Ashley. And this was her house.

‘Oh right, sure, go ahead. I’ll find my way home anyways,’

She looked at me a bit sideways, maybe not getting much the whole ideal behind my course of thoughts. But shrugged it off. ‘Sure. See ya tomorrow,’

And then she was gone.

no one loves you

It hurt. That thought hurt. I spun around and walked a bit faster to my house.

..socially inept.. failure..

The words kept fading in and out. It was immensely bizarre and yet familiar at the same time. I glanced around, half expecting to see someone staring at me. But there was no one.

I barely made it halfway down the street when I felt a presence behind me.

And there was a presence. A car. I didn’t recognize the specimen, I wasn’t good at that- it’s not that I took interest in knowing the different types of moving vehicles.

But what did catch my interest, was whether or not it was following me.

I turned down some other streets, my heart already in my throat I could barely breathe. Turning around, I saw it again. And my whole body went limp.

No no no no no

It sped up to my side, and then again; I could almost see the window roll down and a fake, innocent-looking face stare at me right in the eye while the words spilled out. The deadly “do you want a free drive home?” in those sickly sympathetic eyes.

Please no

The car skidded to a stop in a way that I had to stop since it blocked my passage. The window rolled down.

“Do you-

Nope

-wantme to bring you home?”

And now my heart was racing.

I gulped noisily.

“No- no thanks. It’s- it’s fine, really. I was just going to meet up with my sister- she.. said she’d meet with me up down there-“

“I can get you there if you want,”

That’s when I could get a real good look at her face. Almond eyes. Platinum hair that fell freely on her shoulders. And an inviting, bloody smile. But there was something cold about her almond eyes, like something died in them. They made me increasingly uncomfortable.

‘No.. really, it’s fine,’ something clicked in my mind. “Well actually, I would appreciate a lift,’ the words poured out of their own will, from a mouth which wasn’t mine. “But I’d need help. My hands are full.”

“No worries,”

She disappeared behind her window as it rolled back up, and then the handle on her door clicked, and suddenly I was sprinting.

I didn’t look behind me, I was too afraid. I hoped she was still in her car.

Just like she was now.

Unmoving.

I soon realized that the vivid image of her was in my head, and that my eyes were actually shut tightly close.

Suddenly I twisted my foot and I tripped. My eyes shot open, as the concrete rushed up to meet my face. Seconds before I hit the pavement, my vision went blurry, then blacked out.

First came the pain, then the actual darkness.

When I came back to my senses, a drop of sunlight was shining through the windows. At first I thought I was in my room, but I quickly caught up with my last train of thoughts. The person I had been walking with was Anna. She had been walking with me. I had been on a street. My name had been Ashley. And this had been her house.

And now I was in a car.

I jumped out of my seat as I realized where I was and in whose company. Adrenaline washed over pain. Wow, that really hurts, I caught my head in my hands as a sharp throb hammered it’s way in my skull. What happened? Oh right. I slipped.

‘Sorry for that,’ the driver said as she adjusted the rear view mirror. Her piercing gaze was now fixed on me. ‘When I arrived you had already fallen. I thought you’d appreciate if I took you to a friend of mine. She’s a doctor. She’d know what to do.’

Yeah right

My hand shifted over to the door handle, but it was firmly locked. My fingers pulled on the handle for a while, before I let my hand fall down. Limp.

‘It’s okay. Can you drive me home now?’ I asked weakly. I looked down at my hands.

‘Sorry sweetheart, I can’t,’

‘My sis- .. she’ll be looking for me,’

Her gaze just hardened on the road. I figured no words would sway her. But it was true. My sis would start looking for me.

I just want to go home.

The more I looked around, the less I recognized the place I was in.

Why won’t she just let me go.

And what is she going to do to me?

I was trying to keep calm. Wasn’t easy.

The more I studied her face, the less I understood why I ever thought her eyes were almond. They were pitch black. Almost exactly resembling the eyes of sharks, inky and devoid of feelings. Eyes robbed of all humanity.

Will she hurt me?

And what am I going to tell my Parents? If I ever see them again. And my sis? And what-

“-we are almost arrived.” She said. Interrupting without knowing, my train of thoughts.

And by the look of the place which we were in, which was a “lovely” dark forest by the way, I had my doubts about her friend being a doctor. Or her even wanting to take me to the doctor’s.

‘You’ll regret doing this,’ I said quietly. She looked at me sharply then focused back on the road. My heart was racing. ‘My sis will be looking for me. She always knows where I am.’ Her eyes stayed focused on the road.

I was starting to stress out. And not in a healthy way. Rather in a painful rollercoaster of fear and curiosity.

And in periods of stress, stress being something quite common in my life; I’d always go for-

-my hands groped at my bare neck-

-I lost my cross

A great feeling of nausea overcame me,

no no no no no

Pangs of pain shot up in my skull, crushing, churning pain. And then suddenly my vision was fading in and out and big yellow and red spots started twinkling in my vision. I blinked them away, and now my head was spinning.

‘She’ll know..’ I repeated through a haze. And in that same state of half awareness and half asleep state, I unzipped my bag and pulled out a large kitchen knife. I tilted it a bit in the light, admiring drunkenly the way it caught the sunlight.

The drivers’ eyes darted back to the rear view mirror, and then suddenly I was slashing violently at her face. She pulled away from me with a shriek, her hand drawn out to protect her. The knife cut through the air and came away sticky with blood.

‘Put the knife down!’ She kept shrieking. ‘Put the knife down!’

Through my state I could hear her flashing thoughts crystal clear.

Where did she get a knife?! Was loud. But am I going to die? Was even louder.

She spun the car around, hoping to make me lose my balance and snap me out of my trance. And the violence of her turn actually made me lose my balance, blowing the air out of me as I landed heavily on the back seats.

She tried to unlock the door, whimpering and sobbing. But her fingers were too sticky, and fumbled too much. I still lay dazed in the back, almost totally knocked out.

I reached out beneath the seats looking for my knife, but it was well out of reach. Then I spotted my cross. I thrust out a hand for it, hesitated, then pulled back. I just couldn’t come to take it. But whatever, it’s not like I needed it. There’s no such things as demons.

Sighing, I strained to get up, and; after untying the tie in my braid- hung it around her neck and started squeezing.

I started to tighten my grip, she’s wriggling helplessly around, eyes tightly drawn shut as I squeezed harder and harder like a fish flopping helplessly, caught in a net; until everything was silent, as her head flopped forwards

As I pulled away, she crumpled like a doll; and I sat back in my seat; panting from the effort.

Thanks sis, I said as I picked up the pieces of my necklace, trying my best to put them back together; and hung it around my neck. It burned a bit to the touch, but it helped the haze dissipate. Unlocking the door, I stepped out outside. ‘I told her that you were coming,’


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15 Reviews


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Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:50 pm
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Beccablue wrote a review...



Hi stygianmoon17 !

I have to agree with the other reviews, it is a very intriguing story, probably because we got to hear the inner dialogue as well which did pull the story together to help the reader understand what she was thinking.

The more I studied her face, the less I understood why I ever thought her eyes were almond. They were pitch black. Almost exactly resembling the eyes of sharks, inky and devoid of feelings. Eyes robbed of all humanity.

Will she hurt me?


This part did make me feel that she was in a lot of trouble and that the lady had sinister intentions, but at the end of the story I wondered if this lady was truly an innocent person wishing to help a young girl home.

Pangs of pain shot up in my skull, crushing, churning pain. And then suddenly my vision was fading in and out and big yellow and red spots started twinkling in my vision. I blinked them away, and now my head was spinning.

‘She’ll know..’ I repeated through a haze. And in that same state of half awareness and half asleep state, I unzipped my bag and pulled out a large kitchen knife. I tilted it a bit in the light, admiring drunkenly the way it caught the sunlight.


This part caught my attention, well done! I have read up about DID and what you described is what a lot of people experience when they are disassociating. I understand that there was a word count when you wrote, but now you could maybe add more about her disassociating like how she was unable to stop her actions, that feeling when you are sitting in the backseat, unable to do anything. Often or not, most simply have no recollection of what they were doing unless their alter (other personality) informs them. In the next scene, you could even have her black out and then come to seeing what her sister (I am assuming is the character's alter) did to the driver. This would allow you to add more to the story without going over the word count.
But, then again, this is just another option if you wanted to try a different approach, and I am no expert on DID and understand that you are not showing an accurate representation of the disorder.

Sighing, I strained to get up, and; after untying the tie in my braid- hung it around her neck and started squeezing.


This part didn't really make sense to me because I was imagining a hair tie, as in, a hair elastic. So I couldn't figure out how she was able to strangle the driver with it. Reading it over a few times, I'm thinking it's like a hair scarf or ribbon that it holding her braid together. It just wasn't clear at first which interrupted the intense action.

As I pulled away, she crumpled like a doll; and I sat back in my seat; panting from the effort.

Thanks sis, I said as I picked up the pieces of my necklace, trying my best to put them back together; and hung it around my neck. It burned a bit to the touch, but it helped the haze dissipate. Unlocking the door, I stepped out outside. ‘I told her that you were coming,’


This was a very intriguing reveal! Didn't realize at first that her sister was her alter, which means she was trying to warn the driver that her sister, who seems like the Protector in her mind, would help her get out of the dangerous situation. I really liked how you threaded and tied it together by the end. Great storytelling! Loved the idea and growing suspense, unsure of who will be the victim and attacker.
Remember, take what you think is helpful and throw out the rest! I look forward to reading more of your stories!






I meant a ribbon hair tie xD
but thank you soooo much for the review it helped me a lot :D
btw it seems like u know a lot about DID, could u help me out for a story I'm currently working on ?



Beccablue says...


Okay, a ribbon, great! That would make sense, it just wasn't clear to me.
I would love to help! Obviously, I am no expert but if you want to learn more, I learned from a YouTuber. Her channel is called DissociaDID

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6kFD5 ... lytv5pTR1w

She was really helpful and you can actually watch her alters come forward. It can help you understand the types of roles alters/personalities can have and how it affects their mood.



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Sat Feb 20, 2021 8:44 pm
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Emivanz1 wrote a review...



This is a very intriguing story that has an awesome plot. It was a little confusing at times but altogether amazing. the inner voice/ thoughts were worded really well. I loved the part where you described the transformation between personalities.

The only suggestions/questions i have are
1. is her "sis" her other personality?- i think you could elaborate more on that.
2. why was she carrying a kitchen knife?-n maybe you could give more of an explanation. Has stuff like this happened before?
3. where is she walking home from?-was it school?
4. is the other part of her like a demon or something?- is that why she needed her "cross"

Things i LOVED
1. the descriptions!- when you were describing the way the driver died, i was awed.
2. once again, the dialogue- the inner thoughts just pulled it all together and i loved how we could 'see' how she was feeling.
3. all the feels- this story sent shivers down my spine, it was so incredibly written i would have thought it was by some famous author or something

This is an amazing story and you have a great talent for writing, so just keep it up!

your friend
Evz






aww thank you so much for all the nice comments ^^

this is actually something for school so there's a word count, (which is why I didn't go too much into details of her background and story) I also tried not making the story too dark since well, it's for school, so I didn't really explain the whole demon and knife thing. sorry if it was confusing lol <3



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Sat Feb 20, 2021 7:29 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi stygianmoon17,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

First of all, very good that you included a note before the story to point out that what you write is only fiction.

You've written an exciting, interesting story. It captivated me a little.

You described the driver very well, those eyes stayed in my mind. Reading the inner monologue was well chosen to get into Ashley's head a bit. Especially in the few situations where she's alone, it's good to experience a bit of the narrator.

You could have described Ashley a bit more in terms of appearance. In general, the story could have more descriptions. But that would also have a disadvantage in the story, in my opinion. The story itself has a fast pace which would be slowed down a bit. I liked the fact that the pace was fast and that sometimes you didn't know directly what was happening. It gave you the feeling of not having anything under control. Of course, that sounds a bit contradictory now, because you would really have to pick out the places where you could add something. :D

You try to put important things, statements or explanations in italics, which I like. It gives these specific moments a certain importance that you don't have to ignore.

The person I had been walking with was Anna. She had been walking with me. I had been on a street. My name had been Ashley. And this had been her house.


I like how you start the first paragraph of the story with a brief introduction, which can be found again later. It's a good way of showing Ashley going through it all again. It's also good for the reader to see the change that has just happened in her.

Rather in a painful rollercoaster of fear and curiosity.



That's a nice description.

It was a very captivating story with a rather interesting feature of using the element of horror.

Mailice.






thank you sooo much for the review <3
the reason I didn't describe Ashley is because it's seen from her point of view, and people with DID aren't quite sure what they look like




I'll show my defiance through ironic obedience!
— AstralHunter