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Bruises

by stygianmoon17


***Disclaimer: the original text comes from an app called Yarn, if you enjoy these type of stories, then you should definitely check it out :D anyways, back to the story:***

David: Mom, where's the advil ?

Mom: we don't have any

Mom: dad and I can pick some up on the way home for dinner

Mom: but we're running a little late

David: Fine

Mom: Are you okay? You sound mad

David: I'm not mad

David: I'm just tired of waking up with bruises...

Mom: I know sweetie, we will figure it out this week

David: It just hurts so much

David: I wake up in so much pain

Mom: Try to get some sleep...

David: I am trying ........

David: you guys need to fix the air conditioning

David: It's so loud

Mom: we're working on it

>>>1 minute later<<<

David: Mom

Mom: Yes, David

David: is someone else in the house?

Mom: No..

Mom: ???

David: I hear this quiet snapping sound..

David: Something's dripping on me

Mom: could be the air conditioning

David: I'm scared mom

Mom: show me what you're seeing

David:

Mom: TURN OFF YOUR FLASHLIGHT

Mom: TURN OFF YOUR FLASHLIGHT

Mom: DO NOT TAKE YOUR HANDS OR FEET OFF OF THE BED

Mom: Listen to me and you will get out of this

David: I still hear it!!!

David: WTF IS HAPPENING

David: ANSWER MY CALLS

Mom: David, please stay calm and listen to me

Mom: are your hands and feet on the bed ?

David: yes

Mom: okay DO NOT MOVE

Mom: he picks up movement and light

David: he ?

Mom: the family that lived in our house before us

Mom: had a blind child

Mom: one day the child was playing with crayons

Mom: he drew all over the walls, and made a mess

David: and..

Mom: the father was punishing the child

David: and what ?

Mom: when the father was punishing the 8 years old child

Mom: The child got scared at him

David: and????

Mom: and so he tried to climb out the window..

Mom: and ended up falling and hitting his head

Mom: and died by accident

David: Jesus

Mom: that's not even the worst part

Mom: they hid the body in the floor boards of the house

Mom: and reported him missing

David: Why didn't you tell me sooner

Mom: we didn't think he would come back

David: what do i do now

Mom: the blind boy survives by attaching himself to a human

Mom: the reason he's been grabbing you at night, is to see if you're human and not a chair or something

Mom: right now you can not move

Mom: do not turn on the light because that will anger him

David: is he still blind

Mom: yes

Mom: but he chose you for some reason, and hasn't done that in many years

Mom: the last person he chose was his father

David: what happened to his dad?

Mom: it started with bruises

Mom: he was waking up with them all over his body

David: WTF

Mom: yes like you are now

David: what happened to him

Mom: it got worse

David: just tell me

Mom: I don't want to scare you

Mom: you need to remain calm and silent until I get home

David: JUST TELL ME

Mom: honey..

David: please I will be more scared if you don't

Mom: okay.

Mom: the blind son became stronger by slowly weakening his dad

Mom: one night the dad became frustrated by the bruises

Mom: he loudly cursed at his blind son in the middle of the night for haunting him

Mom: he shone a flashlight to find his son

Mom: to try to end his blind son once again

Mom: this infuriated the son

Mom: ..

David: mom?

Mom: the blind son removed his fathers skin and reversed it from the inside out

Mom: the son ripped out his tongue and vocal cords

Mom; the father was unable to move or speak

Mom: he died a slow, painful death

Mom: only being able to show his pain through his eyes

David: I can't do this mom

David: I NEED TO RUN

Mom: DO NOT MOVE

Mom: DAVID????


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12 Reviews


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Sun Nov 14, 2021 6:12 pm
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BeingRivy wrote a review...



Hi, it’s @BeingRivy,
I like this text/script like short story. It’s like a conversation, and this is my second review, so I want to to be good. It’s original and I like the way how perfect you described the story. I mean I agree with the other people that it’s good and stuff, and I also like the realistic looking photo. Did you take it yourself or did you edit it with different photos and stuff, I couldn’t tell, but tell me more by pm.
Also I really enjoy you gradually added information to the story that’s important even for horror stories. I’m bad at horror so you can teach me a thing or two with this. Please send me a message or private message(pm) back.
I hope you leave a message.
From, @BeingRivy




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12 Reviews


Points: 865
Reviews: 12

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Sun Nov 14, 2021 5:45 pm
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BeingRivy says...



The review I’m making is above. Sorry about that, I forgot to press review. From, BeingRivy




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281 Reviews


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Sat Nov 06, 2021 4:50 pm
MissGangamash wrote a review...



Hello! This was super spooky and had me jumping when I heard a nose in my living room XD

Anyway, I really like the way this is written. I am assuming this is a text conversation?

I am a bit confused by the picture and what that has to do with the blind ghost? I am guessing the dripping is coming from the disembodied arms but, again, unsure of the connection to the ghost.

But I assumed maybe when you went to explain what he did to the dad maybe the ghost severed his arms and legs or something... that was why the mum asked if David's hands and feet were on the bed. But then I got to end and it wasn't that so I am still a bit confused.

Anyway, very spooky, cool story!




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Mon Nov 01, 2021 12:20 pm
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AriesBookworm wrote a review...



This. Was. Amazing. I got CHILLS just reading this. Thank you for taking this story from Yarn and publishing it here. This was a great way to end the spooky season. Some of my favorite parts were:


David: I'm not mad

David: I'm just tired of waking up with bruises...


The reader begins to wonder why the main character wakes up with bruises. A question is a great way to start off a story.


David: Mom

Mom: Yes, David

David: is someone else in the house?

Mom: No..

Mom: ???


This is the part in the story where the tension begins to rise. You can feel goosebumps forming on your skin and chills going down your spine.


Mom: TURN OFF YOUR FLASHLIGHT

Mom: DO NOT TAKE YOUR HANDS OR FEET OFF OF THE BED

Mom: Listen to me and you will get out of this


The mother is trying to comfort her son despite both of them being utterly horrified.


Mom: the family that lived in our house before us

Mom: had a blind child

Mom: one day the child was playing with crayons

Mom: he drew all over the walls, and made a mess

David: and..

Mom: the father was punishing the child

David: and what ?

Mom: when the father was punishing the 8 years old child

Mom: The child got scared at him

David: and????

Mom: and so he tried to climb out the window..

Mom: and ended up falling and hitting his head

Mom: and died by accident

David: Jesus

Mom: that's not even the worst part

Mom: they hid the body in the floor boards of the house

Mom: and reported him missing


We finally get the backstory behind the house. But that's not all.


Mom: the blind son became stronger by slowly weakening his dad

Mom: one night the dad became frustrated by the bruises

Mom: he loudly cursed at his blind son in the middle of the night for haunting him

Mom: he shone a flashlight to find his son

Mom: to try to end his blind son once again

Mom: this infuriated the son

Mom: ..

David: mom?

Mom: the blind son removed his fathers skin and reversed it from the inside out

Mom: the son ripped out his tongue and vocal cords

Mom; the father was unable to move or speak

Mom: he died a slow, painful death

Mom: only being able to show his pain through his eyes

David: I can't do this mom

David: I NEED TO RUN

Mom: DO NOT MOVE

Mom: DAVID????


Chills ran down my spine as I read the last line. David will have the same fate as the man before him. No one will be there to help him. He will die a slow, painful death.




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Mon Nov 01, 2021 7:26 am
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Hmm, this was certainly in a pretty different format to most short stories that I've run into before, but it was a pretty fun moment I think. It was interesting, and there was quite the story here. :D

Anyway let's get right to it,

David: Mom, where's the advil ?

Mom: we don't have any

Mom: dad and I can pick some up on the way home for dinner

Mom: but we're running a little late

David: Fine

Mom: Are you okay? You sound mad

David: I'm not mad

David: I'm just tired of waking up with bruises...

Mom: I know sweetie, we will figure it out this week


Okayy...so I'm going to assume this is maybe a phone conversation. There really isn't much of a clue to be able to say if it is one, but from the general vibe that I'm getting off of this, that seems to be the way. Anyway, well this is off to a lightly mysterious start with these bruises, so this is going well here.

David: It just hurts so much

David: I wake up in so much pain

Mom: Try to get some sleep...

David: I am trying ........

David: you guys need to fix the air conditioning

David: It's so loud

Mom: we're working on it


Hmm....interesting conversation. I feel like it gets a bit too casual for an interaction between a child and a parent but maybe I'm overthinking this a little. At any rate, this small talk about the A/C is presenting a nice contrast to the clear red flags that are being raised with this inability to sleep and just pain in general.

David: Mom

Mom: Yes, David

David: is someone else in the house?

Mom: No..

Mom: ???

David: I hear this quiet snapping sound..

David: Something's dripping on me

Mom: could be the air conditioning

David: I'm scared mom

Mom: show me what you're seeing

David:


Well this went from 0 to 100 very, very fast. Phew...that was quite the upswing from things just being a regular person having trouble sleeping. That picture certainly hits home on what is happening here. It also confirms that this is maybe a phone call or a series of text messages. Hmm, well things are just about getting super creepy now, so let's see where this goes. I already do love where its gone so far.

Mom: TURN OFF YOUR FLASHLIGHT

Mom: TURN OFF YOUR FLASHLIGHT

Mom: DO NOT TAKE YOUR HANDS OR FEET OFF OF THE BED

Mom: Listen to me and you will get out of this

David: I still hear it!!!

David: WTF IS HAPPENING

David: ANSWER MY CALLS

Mom: David, please stay calm and listen to me


Okay so the son is clearly freaking out as much as humanly possible, which is totally understandable if that is really the situation that they are in. The mother seems strangely calm...sure she talks in all caps a bit, but I feel like she seems to know what's going on way better than David and is trying to instruct him on the procedure to survive whatever paranormal horror is taking place at the moment.

Mom: are your hands and feet on the bed ?

David: yes

Mom: okay DO NOT MOVE

Mom: he picks up movement and light

David: he ?

Mom: the family that lived in our house before us


Oooohh..it looks like we're about to hear some interesting backstory on this house and its previous occupants here. Well it certainly is very interesting here. I'm already loving where this one is headed here. I can't even imagine how poor David must be feeling at the moment, hearing a ghost story when being in the middle of a ghost story.

Mom: had a blind child

Mom: one day the child was playing with crayons

Mom: he drew all over the walls, and made a mess

David: and..

Mom: the father was punishing the child

David: and what ?

Mom: when the father was punishing the 8 years old child

Mom: The child got scared at him

David: and????

Mom: and so he tried to climb out the window..

Mom: and ended up falling and hitting his head

Mom: and died by accident


Hmm, well that matches up with most ghost stories that you hear, especially the stories of the kind that tend to end in disaster and haunting. I also love how you break the sentences up like that even though its almost just one big sentence. It matches the idea of this being a set of chat messages.

David: Jesus

Mom: that's not even the worst part

Mom: they hid the body in the floor boards of the house

Mom: and reported him missing

David: Why didn't you tell me sooner

Mom: we didn't think he would come back

David: what do i do now

Mom: the blind boy survives by attaching himself to a human


Wow the mother seems to be quite an expert on this whole thing and is talking about it almost like she was there when this all happened for the first time. David's reaction to never having been told any of this is certainly very justified cause that is a very scary situation to be in without ever being warned of what is happening.

Mom: the reason he's been grabbing you at night, is to see if you're human and not a chair or something

Mom: right now you can not move

Mom: do not turn on the light because that will anger him

David: is he still blind

Mom: yes

Mom: but he chose you for some reason, and hasn't done that in many years


OKay...the mom almost seems to know too much here. I was really expecting there to be at least a bit more emotion with the reaction from the mother. She should be a bit scared knowing all of this and knowing that her son is currently facing this and is in serious danger. Its a little odd to see how emotionlessly she seems to be sending these warning on what to do and what not to do.

Mom: yes like you are now

David: what happened to him

Mom: it got worse

David: just tell me

Mom: I don't want to scare you

Mom: you need to remain calm and silent until I get home

David: JUST TELL ME

Mom: honey..

David: please I will be more scared if you don't

Mom: okay.


Okayy..finally we get to see a little bit of the mother acting like a mother should and acting a bit afraid for her son. That's a good sign, but I think this should maybe show up a little bit earlier than this here. Anyway...that little message about the bruises is also a really nice detail, especially when we see that David has already begun along that little process.

Mom: this infuriated the son

Mom: ..

David: mom?

Mom: the blind son removed his fathers skin and reversed it from the inside out

Mom: the son ripped out his tongue and vocal cords

Mom; the father was unable to move or speak

Mom: he died a slow, painful death

Mom: only being able to show his pain through his eyes

David: I can't do this mom

David: I NEED TO RUN

Mom: DO NOT MOVE

Mom: DAVID????


OKayy....well its a nice ambiguous ending there...I like it. Its the classic horror technique, just keeping people guessing as to what might end up happening. I think I do like that. I also like how this father just seems to have brought all of that on himself and now there's a situation where this poor kid might suffer the same fate. Well, its an interesting ending here. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I think it makes for a pretty good horror situation. It being in this almost text message format is a nice change of pace appropriate to how things like this could go down in the 21st century, and yeah. It was a fun read I think :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





Every empire tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires.
— Edward Said