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12+

Fluff Snippet

by starryknightt


Of course I’d lied when they’d asked if I had any previous working experience. I mean, being a waitress? That’s cake! I had this, and if things went my way, no one would notice anything otherwise.

How hard could serving food actually be, anyway?

At least, that’s what I thought to myself as rounded another booth, prepared to take my first order.

But then I saw him. The most beautiful human being I had ever laid eyes on. With sunkissed skin and perfect wind-tossed dark hair. And his eyes… his eyes were like an autumn storm, framed in dark lashes. When they turned to me, I could’ve sworn I saw the flashes of distant lightning. The shaven jaw on this guy was so sharp it cast an actual shadow on his profile. He wore a fitted leather jacket and underneath a simple gray t-shirt. His jeans were faded and worn, his sneakers slightly dusty from use.

I clamped my mouth shut, suddenly all too aware that I was obviously staring this guy down. I felt a heavy stone drop into the bottom of my stomach and then I was looking into a familiar set of cold brown eyes matched with a cruel half-smile and my heart was pounding as a pale finger traced its way up my thigh, my hip, my jaw-

I stumbled, tripping on my own feet as the dingy white tile zoomed closer. I could practically feel the pain as my face was about to become up close and personal with the floor-

But I didn’t hit the ground.

A strong set of arms caught me just in time, pulling me upward. Then I was looking into those stormy blue eyes and I lost all sense of where and when I was.

Leather Jacket gave me a small smile and his eyes sparkled in a way that made my cheeks flush.

He tilted his head. “I think you just-” He paused, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. “-fell for me.”

I snapped back to reality with a cruel start. “Put me down,” I hissed. Was my face on fire? It felt like it was. The embarrassment was too much.

Once I was back on my own two feet, I shot Leather Jacket a glare. I wasn’t sure why, but it made me feel better.

“Are you okay?” he asked. His voice was like a rising storm, all power and confidence and rough shadows and suggestion.

I choked down some air. “I’m- fine.”

There was a beat of silence and I realized that I’d smeared his burger and fries all over the linoleum. My cheeks heated again. “I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, kneeling to scoop the food back onto the plate. Luckily this diner was cheap and the plate was plastic and not shattered across the floor. Then again, I didn’t know why I was bothering anyway. There was a broom… surely, that would be easier to pick this up with.

I didn’t get the broom.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he replied. He looked down at me, smirking. “I didn’t come here for the food, anyway.”

What was that supposed to mean? I stopped cleaning up the floor and rose to my feet. I dusted off my uniform and leveled my gaze with Leather Jacket’s own. “Really? Because that’s what normal people visit the diner for. To eat.”

Look at me, talking about what’s normal and what isn’t, when I’m clearly anything but.

There was something like acceptance in those eyes as he shifted from a smirk into a real smile. “My name’s West, by the way.” He held out a hand, like we were on the fast track to becoming friends. Like we were going to see each other again after this ridiculous incident.

I shook his hand. His grip was firm, his hands calloused with seemingly years of work. “Katherine,” I said.


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19 Reviews


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Reviews: 19

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Wed Apr 17, 2019 6:36 pm
itsCate wrote a review...



Hiiii, this is Cate here to give a review. So first of all, is there an real person that's named West and looks like that? Because I would marry that person. He was well described and I love his charm! The way he so easily said, "I think you just fell for me."
I had to laugh and blush. It was so cute. The only problem that stood out to me was,

How hard could serving food actually be, anyway?

Take that comma away. Overall this was cute and I can't wait to hear more of it!






Yay! I'm so glad you like West. That's exactly the reaction I was going for.



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101 Reviews


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Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:18 am
AmadeusW wrote a review...



That was pretty hot. If one succeeds to get me, a straight male, to start crushing on a hot guy in a short story, one has done something amazing. You did just that. The simple elegance of a little romantic occurrence here is very memorable and very enjoyable. I'm not usually a romance fan, but this was adorable and I love its whimsicality. It's a short bite of romantic life that is cute and relatable at the same time. Great creativity!






Haha! Thank you so much!



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129 Reviews


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Sun Mar 31, 2019 1:31 am
Anma wrote a review...



Hey Star!

This is a great short, short story.

I really love how this all played out.
Its really romantic which is my favorite.
Its really great and i hope your writing more about it.


1.Here are some suggestions i have

'Of course(,) I’d lied when they’d asked if I had any previous working experience.

'I felt a heavy stone drop into the bottom of my stomach(,) and then I was looking into a familiar set of cold brown eyes matched with a cruel half-smile and my heart was pounding as a pale finger traced its way up my thigh, my hip, my jaw-

' Then I was looking into those stormy blue eyes(,) and I lost all sense of where and when I was.

'Leather Jacket gave me a small smile(,) and his eyes sparkled in a way that made my cheeks flush.

'I snapped back to reality with a (rough) start.

' “Are you okay?” he asked. His voice was like a rising storm, all power and confidence(,) and (sharp) shadows and suggestion

'There was a beat of silence(,) and I realized that I’d smeared his burger and fries all over the linoleum.

' Luckily this dinner was cheap(,) and the plate was plastic and not (shatter) across the floor.

'He held out a hand( )like we were on the fast track to becoming friends.

Either than that its great!

Keep up the work!

Sincerely Anma






Hey. Thanks for the review!



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307 Reviews


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Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:55 pm
Liberty wrote a review...



Hey starryknightt!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight. I'm here to give you a quick review, then I'll dash off to read more of your works. (You're really good!) Anyways, without wasting time, I'll get right to it!

Firstly, this is great! I really like it, but there were a few mistakes that I'd like to point out to you.

1.

At least, that’s what I thought to myself as rounded another booth, prepared to take my first order.


Read the sentence again, slowly, and tell me if it sounds right. It doesn't does it? It's because you forgot to add the 'I' between 'as' and 'rounded'. :D

2.
With sunkissed skin and perfect wind-tossed dark hair.


Is the word in bold supposed to be together? I thought it was supposed to be like this: sun-kissed, or sun kissed. Anyhoo, that's it! It was a great delight to read this short story of yours, but it was quite a cliffhanger...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500






Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the rest of my pieces.



Liberty says...


Your very welcome! :D




“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.”
— Richard Siken