i had a dream about the louvre
and me inside it; a sparrow who does not fear the wire, the metal ribcage
for whom its heart beats
because it is unknowing of anything that exists
outside the steel that encases it.
and in that dream,
i take a rusty hatchet to my canvas and send my guts spilling–
expensive diluents, solvents, dollar store acrylics
–all of it wasted on the carpet.
i splinter my frame, blade to berlinia. i watch my
self-metastasizing with
a smile.
when at last i am broken to the point of pawn shop
obscurity, security sends the janitor to
mop up the mess.
the front desk has recently received a complaint: room 711 reeks of ammonia,
thank you for your time.
i am a dark spot on the wall, a sly hook
seeking gazes and committees to petition.
the critics call me enigmatic.
mona does not call me anything because i am not worth her time.
the front desk is getting tired of people asking why there is a hatchet, and could
you please remove it, it’s very disarming.
and even though
i rose from the haze of harrowing sleep, my bones feel more wood
than marrow. my tongue is coated
in sticky ash, and i am especially partial to sharp objects.
my peers call me a girl quite changed.
one day, i will visit the louvre.
i will visit the louvre, and i will ignore
the dark spot on the wall.
and as i flick my lighter, catch,
the curtains eat themselves down to nothing
alarm sounding, screaming raw, and
the guard at the door is screaming at me to ‘proceed calmly to the exit’
mona, disdainful–
security must call the janitor again, for there has been
a most terrible accident.
a hatchet now hangs in the louvre– floor 1, in the slightly charred remains of room 711.
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139,269 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - A painting is broken up by a hatchet, which bothers some people. But now it is a dark spot, gloomily watching as everyone passes by.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, you may.
Chocolate Bar - I like how you describe the painting being destroyed as the guts spilling out, it makes the painting feel more alive. I also like that the hatchet is talked about as an inconvenience, because to me this poem seems to be about breaking out of a mold and that just looks like “inconvenience” to everyone else.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, an interesting poem about art being more than art. I have enjoyed reading this and I think that I might read some of your other poems. And now…
I wish you a dazzling day/night! ^v^
Hia how’s it going? 😊
I distinctly remember another poem about the louvre, now that you mention it…
I really like the image of the metal ribcage, especially in conjunction with the bird not fearing the wire.
Alongside the axe… it feels more like we’re not only the bird but also the louve itself too---or at----wait a second.
We are Mona Lisa! The bird is just something she watched. Ahhh I get it now! (Live Tikaa reaction)
Or maybe… the sparrow is a metaphor for being trapped in a gilded cage… hm
Ofc, now the canvas makes sense. For the poem, it is meant literally. Also… dollar store acrylics… Ah is that bc the picture in the louvre is not the original?
I rly like how broken up these verses feel, as if you picked the right stopping points for emphasis:
Oha innnteresting, Mona calls them nothing? So, there are layers of this personification and we’re in the perspective of the picture+frame, not necessarily from what is depicted ON the canvas!
I like how you keep circling back to the axe, how it is something the visitors fear and the picture cannot stop thinking about.
I really do wonder what this all means. Poems always leave my head smoking from how much there is to interpret! :3
I can already say that I really like this!
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