Wanting

This definitely has a lot of feeling, which is really good for poetry.

You had a really nice beginning, but the last line of the first stanza, do you mean that you want to be the most important part of his life?

I really like the second stanza. I just really like it, nothing to critique, I just really really like the second stanza.

The second line of the third stanza, it sounds like there should be a comma or period or something at the end.
Same on the fourth stanza, first line.

The last stanza has a LOT of emotion behind it, that is very obvious, and very good.

The one thing I noticed about your grammar is that there are a few times when you say things like "I" and "I'd" and such, but you didn't capitalize the i.

Other then those few things I pointed out I really don't see anything to critique. So good job! I really like this, easy to feel the emotion.

Great job! Keep up the good work!!!

~WW

I loved the beginning but i didnt understand the ending it confused me. Anyways I love how you started because i cant relate to that " I want to know him, want him to know me,every detail of his life and the most important, is me! I long to touch him want him to touch me
if I were trapped in his arms i'd feel totally free". It happens to everyone that want to get the chance to get to know that someone special but not just know them but understand their life story too. To want them to want you and fight for you.

Hi You've got a lovely idea going on here. But with any piece, there are changes that could be taken into consideration.

The topic of love, heartbreak, or envy is extremely common in poetry. For this reason, if you want to express this topic successfully, you have to differentiate your writing from other poets.

the first stanza flowed nicely until I got to the last line. It seems rather.... forced. Also, you already mentioned that you wanted him to know you, so repeating it is unnecessary.

Love poems are always lyrical. Try to add some more spice to this. use metaphors, imagery, alliteration. Small touches like these honestly make all the difference.

Your word use in the last stanza was somewhat dull. How many times have you heard words such as rip, pain, or smash in poetry? All the time. It would be helpful to go to an online thesaurus and look up some more interesting words for this. They don't have to be too complex, just something we don't hear as often.

This has a lo of potential and a great idea. Hope this helped, and keep writing!

-housecat

Hello there here I am for a review I hope it helps.

OK the amount of felling is OK but you should try to put a little bit more.

Good work at spelling grammar and punctuation and you plot.

Keep writing and good luck.

All the best to you.

Until later good bye.

~Jon~