To sit and wander,
To learn or believe.
To be taught from text
Or whatever they please.
Waiting just waiting for someone like me
Smiling and laughing during lunch time you hear,
Homework being done in the time, we need dear.
The gossip of people
This feeling I feel, for some reason always comes back.
Have you been the one that sat all alone?
Have you been the one to have to hear it all, the gossip the rumors the hurt of it all,
One day stand up and tell yourself I have grown tall.
You're strong and smart and no one understands,
You're sweet and kind, but they judge the outside.
Smile when your there and keep your head up tall,
Remember your not the only one that's going through it all.
I'm one of you- big or small.
I'm something new. The type of person, people don't understand,
I'm special I'm unique I'm one of a kind.
A book to be read and a mind to unlock
So don't be the school bully that people see, don't be the frightened one scared to speak,
Be different, get involved. For me it's my last year, but make a difference, try something new.
It's not only for me but also,
For you.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Knight Malachi here to review for team blue on Review Day.
This is a very good poem with a good moral behind it, and I enjoyed reading it. But your rhythm really threw me way off at first. I thought it was rhyming every second and fourth line, and then I thought it was every three. but then it went to no rhyming for a few lines, and then rhymed again a couple different times. and I noticed that you end a line with tall and all, two times a piece. I know you wanted the lines to rhyme, but using the same words that many times doesn't go very well. I would try to change it something similar.
so overall don't take this as really negative because I didn't want it to sound like you did a really bad job. It was good, but just had a few rhyming problems. Good job. I liked this poem tat had a good ending, and a good story.
Keep it up!
I actually never plan for any of my things to rhyme at all if they do its by complete coincidence. ^^"
Alright, I understand.
This was done rather well.
I'm pleased with the way this flows.
just a few things though...
"Your strong and smart..."
"You sweet and kind"
Wrong your was used here. *You're* should be in there instead.
"Be difference get involve"
This should be "Be different get involved" But also I think there should be a period between different and get. that way It'll be two sentences. "Be different. Get involved."
This is well done. You should be happy with what you've done.
Keep on writing.
Thanks for the help i wrote it on a IPad in AP Chemistry class so my grammar was terrible when writing it because i hate typing on those keyboards
Knight Dragon here to review!
All right, the poem had good flow up until "Homework being done in study halls./The gossip of people". These two lines just threw me because you had assonances for lines 2 & 4, and then you dropped it after that. "Your strong and smart...", the your should be you're. The same is true of all the other 'your's in the poem. "You sweet and kind", the "You" should have either "are" behind it, or be "You're"; otherwise the line is really rough and doesn't make as much sense as it could. "I'm something new the ones people don't understand," what does this line mean? "something new the ones"? I think you need to put a comma between "new" and "the". There were other times when you did a list or fused sentences like that where it worked, but it doesn't work here. "Be difference get involve" should be "Be different get involved", and then you should probably put a comma or period between different and get, as well as a period after involved.
Hope this helps!