Chain of a Sinner Vs. Everyday life

Hi! I'll be reviewing you poem today

Firstly i agree, you need to gramatically check over your work, i'm not going to repeat the grammar errors. I'll just make some suggestions to your poem.

I think the formating would be better presented if it was split up into quatrains, it would be easier to read for the reader and easier to follow.

I suggest you include more imagery and descriptions to your poem, i like the final line;

"No one can save us because we will never show the tears held inside. We let the angels cry tears of rain for us as we morn for our sorrows."
Maybe you could expand on this and add more depth to it? You can also lengthen your poem, this line you could work with very well.

"Many may ask yourself... "Can i find my salvation...and what happens to the ones that can't" The ones that cant... "

In this line the punctuation is a bit off. I think you meant *many may ask themselves.
It makes more sense. Don't add the pauses in between your sentences unless you really have to, you could just start a new line or add a semi colon.

Overall it was a good poem, a creative idea, it has a lot of potential just read over it and make adjustments. Hope i was of help to you, if you want or need another review you can PM me or something.

-Infinity x

Howdy! Before I comment about the content I would like to provide some suggestions for the grammar aspect of the piece. Here it is: "The Chains of a sinner are no different, Compared to the chains of one's own life. The Chains can not be broken until you find your own salvation. Many may ask themselves (or You may ask yourself)... "Can I find my salvation? What happens to the ones that can't?" The ones that can't... We are the ones that find no salvation, and feel like we are in damnation. No one can save us because we will never show the tears held inside. We let the angels cry tears of rain for us as we mourn for our sorrows."

Okay, I feel that the line that reads: "We are the ones that find no salvation" Would flow better as: We are the ones who can't find salvation or We are the ones salvation can't find (If you want to make it almost an ironic contradiction). Excuse my crazy terminology, because I don't believe that is a real word. Overall I cannot say that I agree with the poem's theology, but it does end with a picture that is easy to visualize. In particular about the crying angels.

If you have any questions feel free to ask. Although, just a word of notice, I am a pretty busy college student so I may not be able to respond as quickly as I would want to. Sending a message directly to me will be the quickest and easiest way for me to respond.

Happy writing.