My little guardian of hell
Takes me by the hand
Holds me tight
Kisses me till im asleep
He encourages me to go to hell
To join him
To be with him
To love him
To always be there for him
He said he'd give his life for me
Because he is my guardian of hell
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
Hello, Laure here for a quick review!
im should be I'm. I should always be capitalized unless this is part of the poem in which you should add that in as a footnote to alert readers.This sure isn't what I expected when I read the title, I thought of some beautiful, angelic guardian guarding over an innocent little child. Well, this is certainly an interesting twist on the concept of a guardian. So, this is pretty unique. Nice one!
A few suggestions:
Suggestions: I noticed the absence of punctuation during this piece, you should try adding in some commas and period where suitable as it will add some pace to your poem. Remember, punctuation used in the right places can actually create atmosphere for your time that will help you to bring out what you what to say.
Like Purple said, you could rephrase some of these lines to have better imagery. So consider vocabulary when writing poetry, always be creative! This poem, though it shows the guardian I feel as if it doesn't explore the feeling and emotions in depth well enough. So I will go back to the old rule of show don't tell.
Show us how he kisses you, how he encourages you. Show it, don't tell it.
However, this is an unique twist on the whole guardian theme just work on your punctuation and the show don't tell. And this poem will be awesome!
Kudos!
-laure
Hey there secretemogirl21! Thatonewriter is here to give you a review! You get the hunour of having my first review! I'll get right to it...
and welcome to YWS! If you need anything PM me! 
-first off, I think if you split this poem up into different stanzas it would make the poem flow better.
-secondly, I think adding punctuation to the poem would also help the flow and overall tone of the poem. Here's an example:
"To join him,
To be with him,
To love him."
-thirdly, I personally think it would be a great idea to use more words instead of him, me, and hell. They seem to show up a lot in the poem, so maybe some synonyms of those words? Just a suggestion, you don't need to use them.
-lastly, the capitalization. If you were to add the punctuation, some words would not be capitalized.
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem! I hope to see more works of you in the future!
Spoiler
Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get started.
I like this concept of a guardian of hell, but I think you could definitely have expanded on this. The only words that show that he might be "bad" is just "hell". Everything else seems very positive and a little deceptive because you want him to appear bad but I think you should show his bad side as well. To people that don't even believe in hell, you need to accentuate the negatives of this person. Maybe show a way that he changed or flipped personalities in a way, because right now this guardian is sounding pretty good. Also, what is he guarding exactly? Of my knowledge, I don't think hell needs any guards or protection because people don't want to go in right? Or do you mean he prevents any soul from leaving? That would make sense but then how did you meet this so called guardian? At the gates of hell? I think this could have turned into an interesting novel if possible! OK another nitpick "He encourages me to go to hell" could be edited to "He encourages me to follow him" which would then lead to your other lines. I really don't like the last line. I thought the 2nd to last night might lead to another thought but it didn't and I gotta say I'm mostly disappointed you didn't go further with this. His loving you isn't explained because he is a guardian of hell really, but you could have said something how he eventually gave his life for you and died and now resides in hell because he's dead and you are still in love with him and he might have been your husband and now you are a widow and OH MY GOSH WOMAN YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS SO COMPLEX. sorry. I'm excited. Anyway, I hope this was helpful and have a nice night!
~Purple