The sky will turn to gold, as the wind blows,
While the eco of screaming covers the land,
Of dieing solders fighting, for there freedom,
As the widow claspes to the ground,
Crying as if these no tomorrow
He promised he'd be home,
Dreams broken, crying fills the room,
As he promisted he came home,
but taken by death,
Never to breath or see tomorrow.
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First, I shall give you some suggestions on how to make you already pretty nice poem even better. So, first of all, you must use a better vocabulary and you must spell all your words correctly. You also can work a little on the sequence of the words. But you also had great descriptions of the feelings of the people and the mood of the piece is quite appropriate for a piece like this. A great way to improve your writing is to read writing by famous professionals that have become famous. I suggest you read Emerson or Poe so you can find ways to write like them.
I liked the idea of your poem.
There are a few technical errors ,already pointed out ,so you need to keep a look on them.It will improve your writing and will add more attraction to it.Good luck for your next poem.
Okay I like the concept of your poem here! I'm just going to go over the technical stuff real quick.
I really like your first line. However in the next line "eco" should be "echo" and "screaming" should be "screams." That will help the poem run more smoothly. In the next line "dieing" should be "dying" and "solders" should be "soldiers." Also, get rid of the comma. After that, "there" should be "their."
"The widow" makes it sound like there's only one woman who's lost husbands. I suggest you change the start of the line to "As widows." Also, "clapses" should be "collapses." "These" should be there's" and put a period after "tomorrow." "He promised he'd be home" should be a sentence all on it's own; change the comma for a period.
In the third to last line "promisted" should be "promised." I also recommend changing the order of the sentence a little so it doesn't sound so repetitive. "He came home as promised," might work, or even switching out "promised" for a synonym. Capitalize "but" in the next line because to have only one line start with a lower case is unnatural. Finally, "breath" should be "breathe."
Now I'm sorry; that all sounds horribly rude and make your poem sound like it isn't very good. It really is. You've got a great start which I really enjoyed, it just needs some polishing--and don't most poems? I hope you keep writing because I really enjoyed this!