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Ode to the Witch at Moe's

by salia4


Witch,

Evil, ugly, cruel.

No,

Magical, beautiful,loving,

Mom

Welcome to Moe’s!

Taco salad, nachos

Quesadilla, tacos,

Made by one

Mom

Take your pick,

Luck, money,

spells

Done by

Taught by

Mom

5 days a week

5 kids at home

5 hours of sleep

Bills, appointments

Responsibility

All done

By one,

Mom

A desert oasis

Full of life,

Full of energy,

Calm, collected,

A willow Tree

Beautiful, fragile

Yet

Healing, Strong

A mermaid,

Slender, graceful

Yet

Cunning,Smart

Witch,

Oasis,

Willow,

Mermaid

Magical, beautiful,

Loving, strong

mom.

My,

Witch at Moe’s


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8 Reviews


Points: 417
Reviews: 8

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Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:14 pm
kingopossum wrote a review...



This poem seems very heartfelt! The rhythm is nice, and the whole thing flows well! I really enjoyed the beginning where you compare the media depiction of witches to the real thing, that was very powerful.

I have a couple of suggestions, but by no means do you have to implement them if you don't think they'd work quite right. In the third line where it says 'No,' I think adding a period to the end of no instead of a comma might make it seem more firm and more powerful. Another small suggestion I have is in the second to last line, which is just 'My,' you could maybe lengthen it just a bit. Maybe something like 'My very own,'

Other than those, I love the little details you put in. The types of food, the different spells, even the responsibilities that she held all help to get a picture of her. This was beautiful and I'm very glad I read it.

Keep writing, and have a good day -King




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Points: 99
Reviews: 2

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Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:54 pm
Bhaavya Singh says...



The poem is depicting what mothers are beautifully. Metaphors are used perfectly. There are very minor mistakes, but as a whole the poem is wonderful. The way you have detailed the role of mothers, impressed me. I really loved to read it. I got emotional after reading it. The poem is perfectly written. The words have been selected selected appropriately which adds to its beauty.
This is really adorable. Please keep on writing such wonderful poems.




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153 Reviews


Points: 545
Reviews: 153

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Sat Jul 13, 2019 7:45 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



This is a beautiful poem! It's really good!
There is two things that'd I would like to point out, and that's that you forgot a space in two places, "Cunning,Smart" and "Beautiful,loving"
Also, in one of the last lines, you didn't uppercase the m in mom, when everywhere else you did. It's a small detail, but for someone like me, it threw me off.

Other than those little nitpicks, this poem is great! I loved the theme, and the wording, and metaphors are wonderful! Keep on writing, and have a great day or night!





The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept, in silence sealed...
— Charlotte Bronte