It was like that moment, those sincere seconds before you fall asleep. Your mind is floating away, and it leaves a trail of promise in it's wake. You try to follow, but it’s almost like your leisurely easing yourself from that blanket of restfulness that traps you in your body. Like the world is authoritatively attempting to keep you here.
Eventually you stop trying to force it, and it uncovers you by itself, setting you free. It’s like your flying. Able to move anyway you want, unencumbered and immune to anything negative. Released from everyday struggles, the pain of emotions. Nothing and everything go through your thoughts. Not once to you recall what your about to leave, what your about to become. It's like your mind has been slated, your amnesic. But, then you don't care, becuase you have no one else has. Complete and total freedom.
The need to hide anything has vanished. You can finally be you in the most amazing way. It’s just you and this magical world inside your mind, where you can do anything, be anything or anyone. Indescribably beautiful freedom.
That’s what it felt like to die. But, everything comes to an end doesn’t it?
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well..this was a really interesting concept here, and one that I've certainly never seen done before. I believe you've managed to create a pretty intriguing piece here out of the premise and it seems to hint at more to come.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...wow, well this is a diary from a POV that I've hardly imagined before much less run into so this is certainly a very unique thing here that I am really excited to read here. So the title already did a great job catching my attention but well...this is a pretty neat first paragraph too here...the description of the moment of having to leave your body is what I believe this is and well, I really love the comparisons you do there. They do help out a lot in us readers being able to imagine what's happening here.
Well, that's certainly an interesting way to describe that feeling, its hard to place exactly what the thoughts of this person might be on having suffered through that...but it does appear that what this is trying to imply is that the whole feeling is simply bringing just a sense of freedom to this person as they realize that there's not point in struggling against and they just seem to embrace the fact that none of their earlier issues can trouble them anymore. Its an interesting take on things here at any rate.
Well, that's definitely a pretty relaxing take on death there...and a pretty believable theme too of someone being able to just shed everything that they had in the mortal realm and be able to be their unrestrained self in freedom...but of course...it appears we are ending on a bit of a mysterious note there...cause I have a feeling that last line is hinting at something happening in the parts to come
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a pretty solid looking start for a story here, and it certainly seems like the sort of thing that I would continue reading here. At any rate that's all I've gotta say for now!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Glorifying death is not something that I'm particularly impressed by, but I did enjoy the language you used in this piece. It was colourful and somewhat descriptive, but not descriptive enough to break past the aura of ambiguity.
I'm even confusing myself with what I've just said there.
Essentially, it's an interesting read, it's a little hard for me to grasp, maybe because it's not my style of writing. But you can tell that you're comfortable with this type of writing and it'll definitely get really really good with time.
You know, as much as it is hard to get people to like your (book)s, including mine, XD I just joined today. Anyhow, Great way to drop it off, and in my point of view, I find this amazing story to start off many many things. There is so much you can do with just your mind, our minds. So it seems she is dead. Am I not right? Yes? No? Well, that is for the story to tell. I can't wait for more of your work. I enjoyed it. Great job what you did to piece together this story, and myself have a new book coming out as well. It's just the first intro/chapter too see how well it does before doing the whole book. I have 2 chapters finished already and working on chapter 3. It's called The Dark Empire. Great short story btw, I enjoyed it very much, and I hope alot of others do as well.
Thank you very much! I'll be sure to check out your work!
Hey! Dogs here! I have never read your work before, but I really like this. I think if you keep going then this will turn into a great and amazing book/story! I can't wait to read the next chapter/part! I can see that you are sort of new to YWS, so even though it's a little late to be welcoming you I would still like too! So welcome to YWS!
I hope you like it here on this site. Everyone is really nice.
Now on to the review. So I didn't see any nitpicks since it's edited. Which is very, very good!
Alright I guess that's all. And remember this book will turn into something great if you keep going at it! SO DON'T GIVE UP! XD! =)
Thanks! It means a lot! If you'd like to read the next part in this story it will be posted on December 13th!
Wow! I can't wait. You are very planned out to have it done on a certain day. Nice work!
I think that this will turn into something great! Keep up the good work!
Hello!
I agree, that I always wondered what characters thought of, or what went through their minds right as they died. I love this, and I only found one little thing to correct! 
) I really love this, and I like how you didn't mention that you were dying, until after you already described it, (if that makes sense 
) Great job, and keep writing!
This seems like it will turn into a very interesting book.
"That's what it felt like to die. But, everything comes to an end doesn't it."
This is my favorite part, but I think you need a comma after end, you may not though. (I am not that good with punctuation...
~Snazzy
Hi,
This is really interesting. I've always been fascinated with the idea of short stories that allow us to get inside a character's mind right before they die. And reading your short little piece definitely left me intrigued, and wanting more. You write beautifully, and even though this was very short it was definitely vivid. I definitely think that this can be expanded into something greater. I want to know who this character is, and how she dies, and why so that, as a reader, I can form a greater connection with her.
Another thing that it intrigued me is that it seemed to take place after she's already dead and what we get is her spirit looking back on her life and death. That might be interesting to play with.
Best of luck! Let me know if you have any questions.
I am going to be continuing this. This is sort of a preview to see how people like it. I'll most likely be posting at least once a day or every other day. If not more. Thanks for the input! Check out this story when I continue it if you'd like! Thanks again!