Regret

Nice job but you have room to improve. One, I would elaborate more. Give a little context about what happened before the kiss. What was going on, what had driven him to kiss her, how was the kiss, etc. Also, I would have been more descriptive and broken it up a little because this paragraph is kind of daunting to read. Ya' know the feeling when you see a really long informational essay? That's sorta how it feels.

Hi. This is lelu. Obviously. Firstly, you portray the emotions and cycle of love well. This whole thing is easy to understand. You misspelled the second word but otherwise I can find little that's bad. I'll probably focus on punctuation because you have few other problems and because it's what I review best. You need a comma after "How could he just kiss me like that." There ought to be a colon after "the basic summary of it all is this." Sorry for not putting this stuff in spoilers. I'm just not sure how. There should be a comma after "pain" in "If this is not pain then is it really love?" And one after "friends" in "as friends of course." Also, after her second thought, you need another comma because that's the way it works. At first I wrote "words." That's the way it words. Which is also true. Perhaps her second thought should be in present tense along with the rest of your description of how things are presently. Lastly, I really did like the way you did this. It's so well presented.

As short of a story as this is, it was pretty good.

I only wish that you could’ve went in more detail about the feelings of regret. But then again, you did a goodbye summary of it for as short as this story is. So I suppose the vagueness fits pretty well. It almost started off as a poem when’s you repeated the words “this kiss”. I love the emphasis though I felt there could’ve been another way to emphasize without the repetition.

I really loved the trnsition of feelings between the two. The turning of tables as she grew feelings for him.

Over all, very nice poem. Keep writing

Hi res!

My name is Ellie, and I'm here to give you a quick review. I liked this short a lot. For being as short as it is, I think it's very powerful. I think I would have liked to have seen more lead-up to the kiss. The narrator definitely has some feelings for him that probably existed. And if he was interested, why did he kiss her? I don't think you need to say the date. Maybe just, "Now, she looks back on that kiss.."

Just some things to thing about. I liked your story. Let me know if you have any questions!

Hey, I loved this short. It's so touching and the desperation of the protagonist really comes across to the reader. Especially the regret, which at first comes across as simply regret over kissing him, but then regret over letting him go and not pursuing their love further. It's honestly such a heartbreak I think, when two people love each other but they're stuck in a "never ending loop of events" as you put it.
I like your writing style too, but I think maybe you could use some metaphorical language, maybe to reflect on the grave remorse the protagonist feels. For example, instead of saying "she regrets taking his love for granted" maybe express that more figuratively? Just to elevate the writing, and make it look even more sophisticated.
Also, maybe you could add more back story? To make the reader feel more attached to the character's. But you could also keep their back story very minimal to show the relevance and just existence of such relationships, where two people never end up together, making the whole situation more objective and less subjective.
o be honest I really loved this, and those was merely suggestions. I thoroughly enjoyed this short story.
Thanks for sharing!