I Should've Known

by resfeber

Published February 7, 2018

E - Everyone

In Love

I Should've Known


I should've known that you would lie.

I should've known that you would try to cut the tie.

I should've known not to trust you with my emotions.

I should've known not to give you my devotion.

I should've known that I would lose you.

I should've never used you.

I should've said that I was sorry.

I should've known to continue with our story.

I should've known many things.

But unfortunately I am bad at remembering.


Resfeber

2/6/18


Comments & reviews · 4
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Ken95
Review
Ken95 wrote a review Review · Feb 8, 2018

Hello there! I'm here for a quick review.

First of all, the poem is talking about love and broken promises I suppose. Seems you want to stay and leave at the same time.

Well Alice said most of the things I would've said anyway. I didn't quite get it in the beginning.

One more thing I would really love to point out is your title. Next time try to give a title that explains your poem better without being in the poem itself

Over all. You did a good job here. Nice one!

User avatar
Ken95
Comment
Ken95 commented Comment · Feb 8, 2018

User avatar
AliceinBluue
Review
AliceinBluue wrote a review Review · Feb 7, 2018

User avatar
CocoaCat
Review
CocoaCat wrote a review Review · Feb 7, 2018

Hey there, resfeber, CocoaCat is here with a review for your poem.

Wee little reminder, when you publish a story or a poem, it says who wrote it and when they wrote it so there really is no need to write it yourself at the bottom. Hope you can remember that (just making a reference to your poem).

I really enjoyed reading your poem but (there's always a "but") some of the stanzas are a little awkward. Different wording could improve that. Here are some of my suggestions:

"I should've known not to give you my devotion."
Could instead be...
"I should've known not to give my devotion."
It will help it to flow better.

"But unfortunately I am bad at remembering."
Could instead be...
"Unfortunately, I'm bad at remembering."
Especially since you did "should've" instead of "should have" you could have written "I'm" instead of "I am". Again, it may help with the flow.

Overall, good job!
Keep writing :D



i like that the title of dr jekyll and mr hyde makes a clear stance that the embodiment of one’s own evil doesn’t get a claim to the doctorate
— waywardxwallflower