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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
This is very clever! It flows nicely and the ending made me laugh. It's different - a great sort of different.
I love this stanza - very original. I especially like the final line about the keys
The only grammatical error I found was the 'face' one that has already been picked up, so good job!
Overall, an original, enetertaining piece with a lovely flow.
Two thumbs up!
AmyLightwood
This is great! I really like it ^_^ I think this is an amazing 'on the spot' poem
I liked this stanza best, for no particular reason ^_^
But wait, this confused me a bit. So are you saying they were triplets, but she loved the one that died? It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, since it seems like she is bouncing from one brother to the next x)
Oh, and travelled should be traveled x)
Great poem!!!
AOow, this great! Sweet, heartbreaking and hilarious all at once! You managed with punctuation, the flow and rythm went on well even if since the lines differed in length a bit too much at times it got a tiny bit choppy.
The one grammatic error I found has allready been pointed out "face" should be "faces"...
So, this was overall simple, plain, not very creative maybe since it held little imagery and stuff but it still contained much emotion and I enjoyed reading it. Nice job!
You get 3½/5 spiders!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
It is what I am just feeling right now. :"C I'm really confused. I like your piece. Thanks for posting it!
This is a good poem, especially the way it ended. It made me laugh, though the beginning was quite different. I really liked the second and third stanza, it does explain the turmoil one goes through while facing this type of situation. But the ending was unexpected and entertaining
. It was a good read!
Wow, this was really good! Hahaha, the ending made me laugh a little. I mean, triplets? That's very interesting, and I never saw it coming. Your poem flowed very well and I really love the line, "...My heart has two sets of keys." That was a fantastic way of explaining this kind of situation. The only error I saw was when you wrote
I think that it should either be written as "looking at his face," or "looking at their faces." Their is plural so I'm guessing you just forgot to put the extra s at the end. Overall, great work!