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I love this! The ending is - although rather grim - fantastic. I have no spelling or grammar nitpicks for you, so good job!
Absolutely brilliant.
Apart from those two things, really good.
I read it. Although I don't know much about poetry, I could still tell that everything flowed well and had intrinsic meaning. Keep it up!
Oh yeah, and that was a bit grim at the end. Kudos there!