My Fading Starlight

Okay time for a review thingy!
First off, before I likely look overly critical, I need to say that I loved they idea of this poem and the tone of it.

At first glance:
I enjoyed the imagery you used and it was fairly well paced in portraying the speakers emotion. However, I felt many of the rhymes or almost-rhymes were not very well done and threw off the flow of the poem many times when it would switch from rhyming to almost-rhyming. Adding to this, several times you either repeated the same word or repeated your rhyming. Now, I am adding possible revisions because I really like this and have genuine ideas for improving the verses you already have. The main issue is simply wording which is why I have all of this below.

Specifics:

O' my fading starlight,

They say the stars only shine when set against the night,
How tragic but I feel that it's right,
and I wonder when I've lost sight,
of the truths that lead my life.

I liked how you wrote the first verse, but I feel you should continue/ be consistent in your tone. Also, working on the flow of the verses could really improve this poem! Besides that the only other issue is that you used the same rhyme scheme in five verses in a row which is not a very good thing to have in this type of poem.
A possible revision could be like this:

O' my fading starlight,
They say stars only shine when against the night!
O' how tragic, though I feel it is right
and wonder I have, when I lose sight
of the truths that had always lead my life.

Oh, what a tragedy it had been,
the story of how I lost my sheen,
and the bright gleam that lit my eyes,
like an inferno that burnt the skies.

The only thing I have to say about this is that you described the gleam in your eyes, but not your sheen, and you changed from using "O" to "Oh" without any real reason.
Possible revision:

O' such a tragedy it was;
my loss of sheen and the story of
a once bright gleam that lit my eyes
like an inferno that burnt out the skies.

It's like it never was there,
contrasting the dark background,
my soul was laid bare,
for the world to see and judge,
like I am a painting set against the wall.

Okay this is when things started getting weird for me. First, you started changing the pacing of each stanza, from 4 verses per stanza, to 5 and then six. It usually is better to keep the same amount of verses in each stanza, instead of 1-4-4-5-5-6-5. (though the first line is fine)
Second, you randomly decided to stop rhyming, which somewhat confused/surprised me.
Possible revision:

As if nothing to be found;
contrasting the dark background
my soul was laid bare
for the world to stare.
Like a damaged painting against the wall.

Wish I am from a different time,
In a strange world far away from here,
where nothing is perfect but yet the clocks don't chime,
ticking my life away and holding me down,
where mist cloaks the reality and colors fill my town.

So here, I found there to be grammatical issues, such as verse 1 and 3. Once again, you seemed to change your rhyme scheme and it felt odd.
Possible revision:

O' how I wish for a different time,
for a life in a world so far from here,
not one of perfection but where clocks don't chime,
as they tick away my life and hold me in place;
where mist shrouds reality and colors my face.

Okay, I know I changed the last to verses context but I felt the rhyming was a bit awkward.

I waver and shake,
as moments pass without a break,
standing still but miles away,
where no strings can make me sway,
and where no fact can make me see reason,
I live free in a four-walled prison

Again, changing the rhyme scheme! Other than that the only issue I had was that "reason" and "prison" don't rhyme at all. Also, side note, try keeping the narrative in the same tense, ex. passive
Possible revision:

As I waver and shake,
Moments pass without break.
Standing still yet miles away,
where strings no longer make me sway
and facts no longer give light to reason,
I live life free in a four-walled prison.

So, when I ask myself,
if this lasts forever and never end,
I find myself at a crossroads or a dead end.
But I hope against hope that I open my eyes,
and realize how beautiful it always was.

In this stanza, verses 2 and 3 do not make sense grammatically. And, maybe I missed it, but I am not sure what "it" refers to exactly..
Possible revision:

So when I ask myself,
"Is this forever or will it surely end?"
I find either a crossroad or dead end.
O' though I hope against hope I can open my eyes
and realize how beautiful it was all along.

Everything I've said is just a personal suggestion, I don't mean to rewrite your work. I enjoyed this greatly and I hope you can make it even better! I liked it enough to want to analyze it verse by verse and I hope it may help somewhat. I hope to see more in the future!
Have a great day.
^-^

Hello, this is Princess Ink with a review!

The fading starlight in your poem seems to be a reminiscence of something beautiful long ago, and the narrator lost it. I think it's a good comparison, though I believe you could add more hints about the fading starlight in later stanzas.

The second stanza("Oh, what a tragedy... that burnt the skies") jarred the flow and you should either rewrite it or delete it.

I have also noticed some awkward places in your rhyme scheme. (Rhyming is hard--I know it firsthand)

contrasting the dark background,
my soul was laid bare,

The flow of the two lines isn't very good.

where nothing is perfect but yet the clocks don't chime,

I feel like this is too long and the clause about the clocks doesn't exactly match.

("where mist...my town") used a nice spice of imagery. The last two lines of the poem were a suitable ending, and it seems as though the narrator is ready to move on.

Overall, you displayed the emotions and the mental states the narrator went through pretty well. A little tweaking would definitely improve the poem, and I hope my review helped you.

Have a great day! Princess Ink