All these nights,
When I have stayed alone in the cold,
Taught me nothing but one...truth.
The voices that sing you to sleep
Fall silent under grief.
But these tired eyes,
That have never seen the light
Shine bright in the darkness
And I wonder yet again,
Where the shadows have disappeared.
A little early it began today,
The storm that sweeps away the mist
Scattering leaves to the wind
And feathers to the ground
Leaving the skies clear and bare.
But nothing matters to the lone soul,
Living under a wide roof and an empty home.
The divine rays that never triumph
In the race to reach this ivory skin
Gather courage to try another day.
Dusk settles snugly in the streets
And the chill reaches farther depths
Than the ephemeral warmth of dawn.
I burrow into the blankets, too tired
To stay awake and too hopeful to stay asleep.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Carly Here:
you know after taking a log break, it's good to come on here and see good works to review.
"But nothing matters to the lone soul,
Living under a wide roof and an empty home.
The divine rays that never triumph
In the race to reach this ivory skin
Gather courage to try another day."
*This is my favourite Stanza so far! I mean, it felt like the soul of this poem lies in this particular stanza. You read the first three stanza, and you think wow! then you get to the fourth and you're like "double wow!".
You did a nice job! punctuation- check
grammar- check
literary devices- check.
I love!
Thank You for the review!
I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for sharing this beautifully-expressed, metaphor-rich poem. Here is how I understood the poem in relation to its title.
Hope renders the speaker blind to his real circumstances which are described as being alone and in grief. His eyes shine with hope instead and doesn’t see the shadows [true circumstances, obstacles] because of that hope. A storm[hopeful new perspective] sweeps away the former mental clutter [leaves and feathers]making the future[the sky] appear to be clear of obstacles. This hopeful excitement causes the speaker to be unable to sleep despite physical tiredness.
Suggestion:
Telling a reader that all he has previously read doesn’t really matter to the speaker, as the fourth stanza does, isn’t a good idea.
The word “soul” is considered unacceptable because of overuse.
Thank you for the review!
I like your perspective, an optimistic take on the pessimistic depiction I have in mind. The fourth stanza is in relation with the third, as in that despite the brightness of the world, it never reached him.
I'll keep your suggestion in mind and frame it in a different way.
I've felt that soul fits in with the theme of the poem but didn't look at it from reader's PoV. I'll make sure to avoid that the next time.
Thanks!
Hi Philonest, Rodger here for a hopefully quick review.
First of all l would like to say Wow!! this is wonderful, really deep stuff.
All this nights,
When l have stayed alone in the cold
Taught me nothing but one....truth
The voices that sing you to sleep
fall silent under grief
This opening stanza is one of the best l have seen it sits the motion for the what is to come.
I like your word usage.
And the name of the poem Hope is Blind is also atrractive great job
Intrigue- This poem is filled with intrigue it gets you hooked right from the first two lines
besides that l having nothing to say that shows how great this piece is. And Remember to keep on writing
Thank you for the review!