An old man sits there
With his Bible that is falling apart.
The pages were once fair,
But it was opened every time there was a break in his heart.
.
Its smell is musty and old,
But beautiful all the same.
The words inside made him bold,
The words inside made him tame.
.
This ancient book that’s binding is broken
Has pages that still feel of silk.
The pages sound like wings when it is opened.
When it’s closed, it’s put back where it rests, the sill.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
I really liked this poem! Even though I'm atheist, I still am intrigued by religion and I think the Bible is an interesting text. I liked how you had a strong meter in your poem. Your rhymes did not seem forced or stretched. I didn't find any corrections to make, so great job! The only thing I might say, although @snazzypencil already mentioned this, the last line is pretty long and messes up the flow and meter a bit. I thought your title was creative, too. Great job! You are a very talented writer!
Thank you so much! I really need to find a way to fix that last line XD, and I see very much how it interrupts the flow.
That's really really interesting that you're an atheist but still find that stuff interesting. Have you been an atheist all your life?
My mom is Christian, so I was raised Christian. But I think my dad is an agnostic and I've been an atheist for about a year, but neither of us have told my mom. My mom never wanted to go to church, but she does say prayers at dinner. So pretty much, my dad and I just go along with it but don't actually believe in what she says, if that makes sense.
That makes complete sense. My family is a Christian family, opposite of your mom in the way that we went to church but never pray before meals really. A couple years ago my sister became an atheist. Honestly, it might hurt your mom, but in the end it'll be best not to hide that from her. It seems like even though you've decided, you're still open minded and accepting and interested about it, which is more than most people can say (I'm not gonna try and convert you, if it seems like that). I think it's truly awesome that you still find it intriguing.
Thanks!
Hello pendr!
I love the meaning behind this poem! 
Great job, and keep writing! 
I love this! I only have one little nitpick....
"The pages sound like wings when it is opened.
When it's closed, it's put back where it rests, the sill."
I think you may have broken your rhythm a little on the last line, maybe you could take away something from the last line? Other than that, I couldn't find anything wrong with this poem!
-SnazzyPencil
Yeah, I totally agree. I could never really find a way to make it flow, yet rhyme, too. Thanks
Yep!
yyusss I remember this one
One of my favorites. I love some of your phrases.
If I could change one thing I'd made this poem more mysterious at first.
Maybe don't come right out and say it's a Bible at first.
Maybe never imply that.
Make the imagery/similes/metaphors/description so vivid that you just know, you just have to come to the conclusion and figure out what the book is.
For some, maybe the book is different. Maybe they're Muslim, and they think of Quran. You know, kinda like that. But not necessarily.
I guess that's along the lines of how I would write it....but it's your poem. XD so you obviously don't have to do any of that!
Yeah...that's about it...
cool.
Happy Halloween.
~iron.n
Yea, I totally understand, and I love your thinking. The thing is my poetry book's theme was Christianity, so that's why it's a Bible.
This was a really inspiring poem for me! Thank you so much for writing this beautiful poem! I enjoyed it a lot and it made my heart feel like it feels when I'm melancholy (in a good way. It can be relieving and feels good to get in the depressing mood sometimes.). Thank you again for inspiring me!
I'm so glad it made you feel that way! I agree, it can feel relieving to get upset. You are so very welcome, and thank you for telling me what it meant to you.