Young Writers Society

I really liled this poem a lot. Its really true and gives you facts of life as they are. You have a few rhyming words and it really adds a lot to the poem.I love the part where you have written things like- But the choice is mine, right?

     To make that cut. 

          Or not. 

.

The choice is mine. 

     To take that drink. 

          Or not. 

.

The choice is mine. 

     To take that pill. 

          Or not. 

.

The choice is mine. 

     To die. 

          Or not. 

I like this line a lot because no matter what happens we will always have a choice and can change are life in one single choice.
My most favourite lines are these- I call, and guess who answers? 

Hope. 

And it's a damn good thing
Thase 3 line are so very true because in even the worse cases there will always be hope.and it is of course a good thing.
In all i really liked this poem.good job.I hope to see more of your work in the future.

Okay, here we go!

To begin with I liked the overall way you emphasized this topic. It made it feel more real than just explaining a situation. You added feeling and depth to the words you put into it and it makes it feel more professional.

Secondly, I thought the way how you placed a common word (or a synonym of that word) into every stanza. It made the stanzas sort of come back to the previous one. It also keeps the reader's thoughts on one thing as they read. In other words it keeps the reader focused.

As for the stanzas that ended with "or not" was a very well writen part. It interpreted the way the human mind thinks very well. How people's thoughts keep contradicting and rethinking a situation.

As for the ending I think (and this is kind of weird) having the cuss word wedged in there was a wise choice . Having the poem be sort of slow paced and a little bit tranquil and then suddenly having the narrator say that makes it leave a bigger impact and end the poem with a BANG!

Overall very good job and keep up the good work

Jack here for a review!

I love this poem, I really see no fault in it, except maybe that you could have split it up instead of having one big stanza, and make it like maybe three or two stanza's, I suppose that would have made it easier to read.

I love how after each time you say he could do this or this, and then you say or not, it really but a good idea on what you are talking about, and I really like it. I think you could have added a bit more in the middle, talking about why no one answered the call, would have made the poem that much better.

So anyway I really liked this poem, and I cant wait to read more of your writing in time. Thankyou for sharing this with me, it was a good read. Its a thumbs up from me. And remember no matter what circumstance always keep writing!

Have a great day!!

jack