A Sculpture to Mould

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Johnny was horribly sore. And with right reason too. He had been spending his summer vacation in India with his parents. And the little 7 year old thought he'd get to ride atop elephants, charm snakes and learn magic from the Swamis. But up until now, all they had been doing was tour across ancient landmarks in Southern India.

 

Their next stop would be Mahaballipuram to explore its rich culture through its olden temples and sculptures. Right now, Johnny wanted nothing more than to be back at his Seattle home playing video games. And what's worse was that this was only the beginning of his vacation. After the two and a half hour drive from their hotel, they finally reached their place of interest. Johnny's face was sullen all the while and wouldn't budge. Johnny's parents hoped that this trip would excite Johnny and open him to a new world. But it didn't seem like their plan was working.

 

"I know you think all this is boring, and it might not seem like much, but trust me darling, you'll learn to appreciate it," his mother told him, noticing his obvious frown as they passed by each landmark.

 

"What does appressingdate mean, mommy?" replied Johnny, trying to learn his first complicated-sounding word.

 

"It's appreciate; and it means you'll like it," his mom said laughingly and then ruffled his head. Johnny decided to believe his mother. He knew that he would find no better wisdom anywhere else than from his mother. Whether it was during the time she said too much candy was bad for him or when she said that it was important to brush ones teeth daily. So Johnny abided by his mother's words and made sure to closely analyze the next sculpture he came across... even if it was with great hesitancy.

 

He stumbled upon his first finding. And as he found it, he began his inspection of the piece. He was seeing the sculpture from behind and the first thing he noticed was a tail dangling from the back. 'It's a monkey,' he thought to himself. 'Just a monkey. Nothing special.'

 

He thought it was strange how a monkey could be standing upright when all monkeys usually bend on all fours. So he ran up to the front of the statue to see the type of monkey it was. 'Must be a gorilla then,' he thought again. He was immediately surprised, since the statue from the front, actually looked like the body of a man.

 

But the face was of a monkey wearing a crown of some sort. He decided that it was a monkey-man. But despite coming up with such a simple conclusion, he still remained fixed at the statue. He started to notice the detailing. The crinkles along the face, the victorious expression it made. The body-work and the shaping of each curve and each line interested him deeply. The life-like image amazed him. The more he saw of it, the more he wondered who this monkey-man was.

 

He knew that this was a superhero he was looking at since when he noticed the inscriptions on the plaque, the name ended with the word 'man'.

 

From that moment onward, until the rest of his trip, Johnny eagerly kept looking forward to his next destinations of Indian sights. And his parents couldn't have been more delighted at his sudden enthusiasm.

 

When they finally reached home after their vacation, Johnny hurried to his room and immediately took out his moulding clay to work with. Within a few hours, he went up to his mother and presented to her his creation. It had a tail just like the statue he had seen.

 

"This is Hanuman, mom! He was the first superhero from India. And he came way before all the other famous ones!" he happily proclaimed.

 

"Wow, Johnny!" his mom said, clearly proud of her son's result from his vacation.

 

"I know it doesn't seem like much, but you'll learn to opprecediate it," he said, pronouncing each syllable as carefully as he could.

 

"I absolutely appreciate it. And I love it!" his mother replied and then kissed him on the forehead.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Lycando
Review
Lycando wrote a review · Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:14 am

Hey there!

I have to with Elinor on the first part. A seven year old wouldn't exactly be more interested in video games than going on a trip. Heck, he may not even understand how to play most video games. :P As a kid, wherever your parents bring you you usually have some enjoyment of it. Basically because having the naivety of a kid, everything seems to interest you. And I would have liked it if you had portrayed this character of awe and wonder to Johnny instead of the video game one.

The part about the sculpture I have to agree with Elinor too, but I have my own take on that. If he suddenly found the sculpture interesting out of everything, did it mean that he had some form of interest in this kind of art? Maybe at his own home he played with some form of clay that he enjoyed? As you said later on he had kept molding clay in his room. Not everyone has molding clay in their room as far as I know. So did he have an interest in sculpting? If so, upon seeing the sculpture, you have to introduce that as part of Johnny's character so that readers are able to understand.

I like the idea of Johnny knowing about the first superheroes in India. One thing though, as a foreigner to India, would he know about the local culture there and their superheroes? That's just one point I would like to point out.

Hope my review helped!

User avatar
Elinor
Review
Elinor wrote a review · Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:44 pm

Hi there,

I'll admit that this story didn't do it for me. I did like the message at the end, but right now this just feels like an okay rough draft. Which is not to say that you can't make it great.

From the first few paragraphs, I was wondering what kind of bratty spoiled kid wouldn't love a trip to India! I mean, I went to Germany when I was that age, and while I didn't appreciate it in the sense that I was young, my memories of the trip are vague and I didn't understand how lucky I was to be going, I still loved the trip. And what seven year old plays video games? I guess there are some games more geared toward kids, but I would specify because right now I'm imagining first person shooters. But yeah- and I don't know if this what you intended- I really didn't like the character from the beginning because of the way you portrayed him.

I also found the way that you showed him coming to appreciate the trip kind of unrealistic. I mean, so far he's hated the trip, and he's left in awe by a monkey statue? Why didn't anything else interest him? What was so special about this monkey statue? I think something I'd see happening a little more is him coming home and realizing that he missed the trip and wishing he was back an idea. Of course, it's your story, so you're free to do whatever you want.

Hope this helps! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Thanks for the review! ^.^

You're quite right, I did want him to be shown as a spoiled child towards the beginning. I guess I blundered a bit on the whole 'realization of the awesomeness of the sculpture part', lol.

I've seen seven-year-olds play Virtua Tennis, The new hi-fi Mario games and Ratchet and Clank and stuff like that. But I understand what you mean by not having some reference to relate to.

My prime purpose for the story was to turn something simple into a big deal. The statue was of Hanuman (a God, in Hindu mythology) and Johnny felt amazed because he didn't have a clue about what it was but it intrigued him when he looked closer into it and realized it was more than just a monkey. I took this out of past experience when I was a 7-year-old.

Thanks for reading! And will take the advice into consideration. :)

Thanks for the review! ^.^

You're quite right, I did want him to be shown as a spoiled child towards the beginning. I guess I blundered a bit on the whole 'realization of the awesomeness of the sculpture part', lol.

I've seen seven-year-olds play Virtua Tennis, The new hi-fi Mario games and Ratchet and Clank and stuff like that. But I understand what you mean by not having some reference to relate to.

My prime purpose for the story was to turn something simple into a big deal. The statue was of Hanuman (a God, in Hindu mythology) and Johnny felt amazed because he didn't have a clue about what it was but it intrigued him when he looked closer into it and realized it was more than just a monkey. I took this out of past experience when I was a 7-year-old.

Thanks for reading! And will take the advice into consideration. :)

Thanks for the review! ^.^

You're quite right, I did want him to be shown as a spoiled child towards the beginning. I guess I blundered a bit on the whole 'realization of the awesomeness of the sculpture part', lol.

I've seen seven-year-olds play Virtua Tennis, The new hi-fi Mario games and Ratchet and Clank and stuff like that. But I understand what you mean by not having some reference to relate to.

My prime purpose for the story was to turn something simple into a big deal. The statue was of Hanuman (a God, in Hindu mythology) and Johnny felt amazed because he didn't have a clue about what it was but it intrigued him when he looked closer into it and realized it was more than just a monkey. I took this out of past experience when I was a 7-year-old.

Thanks for reading! And will take the advice into consideration. :)



Thomas Edison's last words were "It's very beautiful over there.” I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful.
— John Green, Looking for Alaska