As light is gone and darkness fills the sky,
The cold crisp air is black and bone dry.
The wind swirls and whirls around you.
Everything is shadowed with a cold black Hue
As you breathe heavy in the air you can see your breath.
Like little ghosts silently drifting towards death.
Just as you think darkness has filled your heart,
You look at the sky and the mist has begun to part.
Up above the now darken sea,
There’s a small glimmer of hope, the size of a pea.
The perfectly round dot,
Just a small tiny spot,
In the vast and wide sky,
Has stopped being shy.
For now he is glowing, gleaming,
I must be day dreaming.
That little dot appears to be screaming,
And the light of earth is what he’s redeeming.
For people all over the world scour
The earth for something of this power.
The power only he beholds,
For light in the sky is what he molds.
He and the sun sway together in tune,
If you haven’t guessed what he is, he is the moon.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,801 Reviews
I loved this poem, I thought it was fantastic and everybody and their grandmother needs to read it. The beginning descriptions of the air and just the essence of the night chilled me to the bone. I loved it! Gosh you gave me goosebumps
I loved the rhyming and the flow of the poem.
I don't have a lot of bad things to say about this.
This is a disruption in rhythm. Try either making the first line longer, or the other line shorter so the rhythm is consistent.
You have a few grammar errors. The fourth line, "Hugh" should be "hue". Hugh is a name. Hue describes color.
In the eighth line, You say "Darken" try "darkened".
Last grammar error, when you say "Him and the sun sway together in tune"
This is a marvelous line. Except, Him, should be He. "He and the sun sway together in tune." So that's it
GREAT JOB!!!!!!
i thought i spelled hue wrong!! but my spell check said it right i completely forgot it was also a name... I'll go back and fix those mistakes(: I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the positive review!
Hey, this is an excellent riddle (I just wish you hadn't included the answer at the end :p). Your straightforward rhyming pattern worked well and caused the poem to flow very well. Your cryptic descriptions of the moon where eye opening to the amount of descriptive language you can surround one thing with (without explicitly naming it). This was a joy to read and I hope I have the pleasure of reading more of your poems!
i wasnt sure if i was clear about what it is so i decided to say it at the end:p But thank you very much for the positive reviews!