I loved this poem, I thought it was fantastic and everybody and their grandmother needs to read it. The beginning descriptions of the air and just the essence of the night chilled me to the bone. I loved it! Gosh you gave me goosebumps I loved the rhyming and the flow of the poem.
I don't have a lot of bad things to say about this.
For people scour
The earth for something of this power.
This is a disruption in rhythm. Try either making the first line longer, or the other line shorter so the rhythm is consistent.
You have a few grammar errors. The fourth line, "Hugh" should be "hue". Hugh is a name. Hue describes color.
In the eighth line, You say "Darken" try "darkened".
Last grammar error, when you say "Him and the sun sway together in tune"
This is a marvelous line. Except, Him, should be He. "He and the sun sway together in tune." So that's it
GREAT JOB!!!!!!
Points: 414
Reviews: 271
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