z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence Mature Content

Alice -PG4

by michaelloffet


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Alice stood up and began to observe her surroundings, all that there was in her cell was a small notepad and pencil and a caged window up in the left hand corner. She slowly crept towards the window. Outside she could see nothing but overgrown fields and the rain which was still falling. In England it was not rare for them to have substantial rainfall but this just did not seem right to her. It felt as if this rain was here just to represent her mood.

She turned round gazing at the notepad left on the ground for her by the Governor. She thought that he was a nice man, someone who she could relate with. Somebody, who was forced into a situation which they did not like nor agree with, but something that had to be done. She praised her parents for what they had done. Taking her was the only option they had. She thought of herself as the danger, a force not to be reckoned with. But, in reality she was just a girl. This isn't just reality though is it, she had come into contact with a new world. Something that has not been done before. But not just been there, she has escaped from it.

This sudden realization helped calm her nerves and she smiled to herself, something she had not done in a long time...

Alice picked up the book and inside it read...

'For Alice, writing a story is the first part to being free.'

The Governor.

This gave her an idea, he was right in order for her to get out of here she must write about her past experiences, taking her back to where it all began. That other world... Wonderland.

She sat down with book in hand, raised her pencil and started writing.

Alice thought long and hard as to what the title of this 'true' story would be, then it came to her.

Alice in Wonderland...


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
317 Reviews


Points: 20
Reviews: 317

Donate
Sun Dec 29, 2013 12:11 am
lostthought wrote a review...



Welcome to review day! I didn't see anything wrong. You really are getting better!

That's an interesting concept that she wrote Alice in Wonderland. Of course it makes sense of the late rabbit and the mushrooms..... Maybe she ate too many mushrooms on that day she fell through the "rabbit hole". I got a question, How are you going to continue writing this when that is your end.

~Alice thought long and hard as to what the title of this 'true' story would be, then it came to her. Alice in Wonderland...~

It seems it would be hard to continue writing on this. Well, keep writing!

~lost






Don't worry I will be continuing we have not even begun yet :)



User avatar
183 Reviews


Points: 1810
Reviews: 183

Donate
Fri Dec 27, 2013 8:12 pm
ConverseFireGirl wrote a review...



OH MY, I HAD MY SUSPICIONS BUT OH MY! ALICE IN WONDERLAND! :D

This is a great piece yet again, michaelloffet, with good descriptions and a good scene that you've set, so the reader feels like they're actually in there with her.

A couple of tweaks again...: :)
You used the word "rain" quite a lot in the second section of your paragraph, so maybe change it to words like "downpour" or "shower"

Also, I found that the "window" was mentioned a bit, as of course, keep it the same sentences but maybe just suggest it's there another time, or even add the two points together! :D
Great writing though, I hope you're pleased with it!
-CFG
:D






Thanks i'll make those changes once I can get back on my PC.




The important thing is never to stop questioning.
— Albert Einstein