A life of cloth.
~
Alone in his white room,
With his white cloth like a flawless banner of snow,
Hung upon the wall where no wind bids it wave,
His life begins to weave
Itself into the cloth, staining its threads,
Colors of joy,
And of sorrow. Images,
Appear like flowing water,
Some quickly like splattered paint
That explodes upon the canvas.
Some more slowly,
As a tortoise rises to the surface of a pond
Not to disturb its surface.
As he watches his cloth take ink and thread,
By the invisible fingers of the Norns,
Threads loosen, and separate.
Torn now is his cloth.
With needle and thread he mends the rip,
The rend in the cloth. But lo,
He works alone, and more and more
The rips appear,
Until his cloth is full of holes,
Tears, that mar the images
Of his life. He tried
To mend it as it broke,
But the needle pierced the flesh of his hands
And fingers ‘till they bled.
His needle bloodied and thread near done,
He sat and wept a while.
~
Suddenly she appeared,
with needle and thread of silver and white
to stand by him and mend his cloth.
He looked up to gaze upon her, and she smiled back at him.
“Who are you?” he asked, as she bade him rise
with deep, dark eyes.
“I am your friend, and it pains me
to see that your cloth is stained
and torn.
So I shall help you mend it.”
And together they stitched the cloth back together,
The tears were being mended,
And though they grimaced back
Upon the pain of the needle that pierced their flesh,
Still the cloth was being mended.
~
“Thank you.” He said,
and sincerely so,
because this girl was willing
to help him mend his life’s cloth.
It was then that he realized that he loved her.
“I must repay you!” He said, taking her hand.
“No,” she said. “Do not look upon my cloth!
So hideous is it,
I would wish its sight
On no one’s eyes!”
And she turned and left him their,
As she went to mend her own cloth.
~
Years passed as together they sewed his cloth,
Pricking their fingers red,
To keep up with the tears.
But never did he see her cloth,
Untill one day he asked her.
“Why do you repair my cloth for me
and ask nothing in return?”
“Because, you are my friend.” She said.
“And I love you.”
At this the boy smiled. “Ah,
But you forget! I am your friend,
And I love you! So show me this cloth of yours!
I will mend it for you!”
It was then that he saw her hands,
Bleeding from so many times
Having been pierced by her own needle.
She hid them away, and said
“No, I would wish its burden
on no one but myself.”
And she wept there,
Silently, so that perhaps
He would not hear.
But hear he did.
He walked over to where her cloth was hung,
On the other end of this white room,
And his voice and very breath
Caught in his throat.
For only ribbons remained of her cloth,
Which was black with grief
And blue with sorrow.
“No!” she cried. “Go away from it!
It is not your burden to bear!”
And the boy looked back with a grin.
He grasped the cloth in both hands
And wrenched it from the wall.
He strode with it in his hand and hung it next to his
And sewed it’s end to his own
So that the two banners now
Were one.
“There.” He said triumphantly.
“Now you’ve no choice!
Our cloths are one, inseparable.
Your tears are mine as well, my burden to bear.
So now we sew the cloth as a whole,
So that both of us may have
A banner free of holes.”
~
She wept then, but looked up at him.
“Fine.” She submitted. And she smiled,
and a bright spot in both of the banners grew.
“Let us mend our banner.” She said.
~
And together they sewed,
Pricking their fingers, but still
They mended their cloth,
Together.
Points:
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Wow......that was amazing! Your wording and the flow was really great. You seamlessly told a story full of symbolism through poetry in a beautiful way. This is a poem that I will probably remember for a long, long time. I have no criticisms.
Vivian here.
What does this poem symbolize? Is it their lives, is that why the girl said if wasn't his burden to bare? Either way it's a nice poem, I'd still like to know what the cloth symbolizes. And the bloodied fingers. It makes the poem sound deeper, sadder.
Good poem. Keep writing.
This is beautiful! And I know I'm repeating the same thing so many people have already said, but it really, truly is! I could see everything happen so clearly. The pictures were all so vivid they made me cry. I've always said: "Perfection is a flaw," but...
Flaws can be flawless too.
There's just one tiny nitpick where you've used "their" instead of "there," but it doesn't really matter because the entire poem was so deep, it was so true and it was just plain beautiful.
Relationships can cause pain, they can cause hurt and loss. People try to hide things from each other; their ragged cloths with holes. And yet they strive, and this is a key characteristic of humanity - and perhaps it's the reason that our race is still surviving. We don't give up. We persevere. We grow, we learn, we gain each other's trust. We love, and we yearn to be loved.
So thank you for sharing this, thank you for stirring up this emotion within me. Thank you for speaking do true.
~Pompadour
That was a beautiful coment! Really it truly was. One tiny nitpic: you use "do" instead of "so" in that last sentence there.
~Methrirr123
Wow... this is just too beautiful. Honestly, I've got nothing to say but: perfect. Just perfect.
So I originally read this with the plan to review it, but then it saw its beauty and perfection and i feel no need to review it at all. You clearly spent a lot of time writing this and I must say it has brought tears to my eyes. Beyond beautiful. Please keep writing because this is so lovely.
Talk about the true value of friendship. You really defined it well. You had some spelling mistakes. You said their instead of there.
I hide things from my friends. My cloth wouldn't be full of holes, but of a maze of thread, marking confusion and madness I face as I encounter life with my head instead of my heart.
This is very beautiful. It defined the true value of friendship. Now get out of the green room. It's too full.
I love this it is amazing in detail and analogy of a true friendship. I wish others would understand the definition of friendship and what that means. I can definitely relate to this work as I am unfailingly loyal to my friends but not a lot of them understand my burdens as I hide them away. I like that you related it in an abstract way where live was a cloth that gets cut and you go through hard times trying to fix the tears that were put there from the wearing down life does and all the struggles that people go through. Explaining a friend through the hardships endured and how a friend brings the person through the hard times and helps mend their broken lives even when you aren't always willing to accept their help. As for anything to change, I don't think that there is anything that needs changed as the detail and visual aspect of it covers everything. I think that it is a beautiful piece and wonderfully explains how the relationship between friends should be. Honestly I would publish this.
thanks for sharing your work and keep up your writing, it's beautiful.