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death came slow

by mellifera



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8 Reviews


Points: 369
Reviews: 8

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Thu May 16, 2019 9:19 pm
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BailorAsh wrote a review...



This is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. The word choice was amazing and the imagery was just... beautiful. That's how I'm going to start this review.

I love reading personifications of Death, mostly because I also enjoy writing Death as a character, and so I like seeing how other people do it. This piece is interesting, because Death is displayed as a sort of cryptic, but wise character. I enjoy this version of Death because they do not seem cruel. My criticism of the piece would be that I don't quite get the ending - I think I do, but I can't say for sure. In poetry, it's good to keep things shorter and focus on description, which you nailed. Your word choice is perfect. One of the best lines is the first:

"what a gluttonous beast,
always consuming, always butchering," I said.

It draws the reader in and shows in very few words the protagonist's view of Death, which I enjoyed. Overall this was beautifully written. I actually cried when I got to the end, so in my opinion, you've written a successful poem. Poetry is about getting your readers to feel something.

Bravo!





cron
There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.
— Bram Stoker