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Lingerie, Bing Crosby, and Belly Bulge... Thoughts on Christmas Eve.

by mavisknightley

I’m very pleased with what I went to bed in tonight. I slipped under the covers in a lacy black razor back bra and even lacier black undies. For some reason, I feel more composed, and honest, and more me in this get up.

It should be noted that I am sleeping in my parents’ house like this, and it is Christmas Eve.

Yeah, I know. I’m going to hell.

This will be my twenty first Christmas and I have to confess a terrible, dirty secret… I am completely unexcited by the holidays this year. Save for an excellent Bing Crosby remix ( not much has made my heart go pitter patter with the sound of fuzzy reindeer shit this year.

I will say with confidence that this has nothing to do with the fact that I am alone. That’s right. I will be spending this Christmas dodging ‘so where’s your boyfriend?’ questions, and buying myself jewelry. I will also be quietly wishing that I could dump a bucket of donkey feces over the heads of all the bitches posting adorable ugly sweater selfies with their hot boyfriends on instagram.

But why is there such a stigma about this anyway? Why do we feel so incomplete, and dissatisfied, and (let’s face it) miserable when we have to spend a holiday alone?

Case in point, I’ve got this friend who’s pretty much all:

“Another Valentine’s Day alone. FML.”

“Another Christmas alone. FML.”

“Another President’s Day alone. FML.”

“Another Talk Like a Pirate Day alone. FML.”

Ladies, some advice: Do not become this woman.

What the fuck is so wrong with taking some time for yourself? Look at it this way: You get to spend Christmas with someone who likes (or at least will tolerate) the food you cook, won’t argue over what to watch on TV, and gets all your jokes.

And yes, I am completely aware that this sounds like a crock of shit, but I’ll be honest with you. I’m single. I’m young. And I’m pretty content here in my sexy lingerie, snuggling with my kitten under the covers, and watching A Streetcar Named Desire for the seventy fifth time.

Tomorrow will come. I’ll eat enough food that fat pants will be necessary for the rest of the week, and the best part: I can go to bed perfectly content with my belly bulge, and not give a damn.

Single ladies out there: I suggest that you do the same.

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11 Reviews

Points: 310
Reviews: 11

Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:05 am
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AkankshaD wrote a review...

I just love this!
you wrote it so honestly and with such a simplicity that I started feeling elated for not having a boyfriend. For the writing, I appreciate that you spoke your heart out ,made it to the point and, most important ; did not beat around the bush.
Well, sometimes you really do justice by enjoying your life alone. I want more pieces like this from you. Keep going girl!!!

Thank you for the kind review, AkankshaD! Ain't nothin' wrong with being single! I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece, and appreciate your thoughts! :)


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802 Reviews

Points: 18884
Reviews: 802

Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:30 am
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Dracula wrote a review...

I don't have anything major to point out, I love this piece a lot. There's just a couple things...

For some reason, I feel more composed, and honest, and more me in this get up.
You use 'more' so I feel like there should be a comparison somewhere in this sentence. It's just personal opinion though, and not really required. You could add this get up than a flannelette pyjama set.

not much has made my heart go pitter patter with the sound of fuzzy reindeer shit this year.
Nitpick- needs a capital at the start and the previous sentence needs a full stop. Praise- this sarcastic but serious line perfectly sums up the whole piece, I think. I love the tone of it, and the message in general that the narrator is just not feeling Christmas this year.

Ladies, some advice: Do not become this woman. Great message. I can go to bed perfectly content with my belly bulge, and not give a damn. This is also a great message. The whole thing is, really. You don't need a man. You're allowed to enjoy alone time. You can be independant. Love your body. Don't care what others think. I can find a lot of great messages in here, things I wish a lot of females knew and understood. That I wish I understood because society has still rubbed off on me. This is a really impacting piece that should be shared so thanks for sharing. :)

Hello @Dracula,

Thank you for reviewing this piece! I appreciate your thoughts and constructive advice. Glad you took something away from reading it, too. We are so guided by what society says is right and attractive, that we constantly second guess ourselves. We need more girls (and guys) who determine for themselves what they feel is right and attractive.

Thanks again, Dracula, for your thoughts. :)


Mavis Knightley

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95 Reviews

Points: 4906
Reviews: 95

Thu Dec 29, 2016 2:44 am
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Gymnast2801 wrote a review...

Hi mavisknightley, it's Gymnast2801 here with a review for Leia's Army!

First off, you really intrigued me with the fact that (and I'm guessing you are this person, but correct me if I'm wrong) you said you actually went to bed. I have problems got to bed also-- too much on my mind, or I'm up too late reading. This really captured my attention and I feel that it will capture lots of people too because I'm sure we're not the only ones with this...problem.
As you the "me" get up, I also have the same feeling in a t-shirt and pair of shorts I wear together around the house. They don't match, but I like the way they look, and I like how you describe that "me" feeling with this scene. It fits well.

I found no grammatical errors, unless I missed any, and I love this piece! I like the sassiness of if, and just what it's about. I can relate in so many ways, even more that what I posted above :) Great job on the flow, it all seems to work nicely, and I don't really have anything bad to say other than a tip to rate your work for ages 18+ because of language. I try to avoid reading such language but I was so intrigued and interested that I didn't really care.

Oh, and one question about a part in the beginning; Why did you include a link in the work? I'm just curious because I've never seen that before. It was quite interesting.

Well, that's about it for me! You have a wonderful price of work here and please keep on writing!
~ Gymnast2801 for Leia's Army.

Hello @Gymnast2801,

Thanks for your kind review of my piece! I appreciate your thoughts, and was happy to read that you could relate!

To answer your question, I always link back to my website mostly for marketing purposes, but also just in case the reader would like to contact me, or read more of my work. I've written some pieces that don't quite fit the YWS niche, and I only post them on my website. Thanks for asking, and thanks again for your thoughts. :)


Mavis Knightley

Poems were like people. Some people you got right off the bat. Some people you just don't get - and never would get.
— Benjamin Alire Saenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe