she's as beautiful as the dreamcatcher sparkling as the moon's rays fall on it
she's as beautiful as the river as it glistens in the moonlight
and i,
i'm just the wildflower,
brooding at the borders of life
perhaps i look a little beautiful when the moon's rays hit me
but in a farm, i'm a weed
in a garden, i'm unwanted
and on the roadside,
maybe i'm the flower he gives to the girl as beautiful as the moon
maybe i'm the flower he puts in her hair as he calls her the rose of his garden
and as they walk, hand-in-hand,
perhaps i'll fall out of her hair and float gently to the ground
and perhaps i'll get run over by a car
after all, i was only theirs to be found
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
This is heartbreaking, but also beautiful. Your imagery is out of this world.
"maybe i'm the flower he gives to the girl as beautiful as the moon
maybe i'm the flower he puts in her hair as he calls her the rose of his garden
and as they walk, hand-in-hand,
perhaps i'll fall out of her hair and float gently to the ground
and perhaps i'll get run over by a car
after all, i was only theirs to be found"
this last part is especially dramatic in the best way, as the poem comes to a tragic end. The comparisons to flowers are fantastically written. I love this so much.
thank you so much!! i love the ending too!
This is heartbreaking, but also beautiful. Your imagery is out of this world.
"maybe i'm the flower he gives to the girl as beautiful as the moon
maybe i'm the flower he puts in her hair as he calls her the rose of his garden
and as they walk, hand-in-hand,
perhaps i'll fall out of her hair and float gently to the ground
and perhaps i'll get run over by a car
after all, i was only theirs to be found"
this last part is especially dramatic in the best way, as the poem comes to a tragic end. The comparisons to flowers are fantastically written. I love this so much.
Stunningly beautiful! The imagery in this poem is so vivid, it paints scenes into your head and pulls you into them. I could feel myself lost in the story and the narration, very mesmerising indeed.
I like how the moon is a constant in the poem, almost like an anchor that keeps the poetry grounded and helps it grasp the land of the reader's heart. It enhances the beauty of the dreamcatcher, river and even the wildflower. We see it being compared to the beauty of the girl who is being gifted the flower. I could feel that the moon's repetitive mentions give the poem an unexpected rhythm.
The contrast between the description of the narrator and the couple is quite intriguing. The narrator sees herself as a weed in a farm and unwanted in a garden. She feels unseen and useless. She's not the protagonist of the poetry, even in her own narrative. Such a creative idea! On the other hand, we see these romantic gestures of the couple which direct the spotlight towards them. Walking hand in hand and complimenting her as in the romantic cliches. We see them painted in a lovely light, meant in each other's company.
My personal favourite line has got to be the second one (the last line of the poem). She thinks being gifted to the beautiful girl was her sole and complete purpose to ever exist, such a depressing thought. The blow is even harder when you consider she's just been crushed beneath a car, while the couple enjoy their time together. The soft and gentle depictions of the couple end up making the narrator's pain even more impactful. The contrast in experiences draws all the more attention to the pains of the wildflower. I think it's such a soul crushing detail that neither of them even notice the flower missing from the girl's hair. She was a gift, but not even a cherished one to be looked after. We never see fury or complain in the wildflower's tone. To the reader's surprise, she's somewhat sated even in her ill fate of being born a wildflower. She achieves her purpose of playing her part in young love only if she grows on the roadside. Even then, she fate doesn't render her the favour of withering in the girl's care, maybe placed between the pages of a loved book, to be looked at later to reminisce of the old days. Instead, she retains her as if invisibility only to die under the wheels of a car that couldn't care any less.
I love how it's a metaphor for heartbreak. The boy never seeing the wildflower as anything other than a gift to a girl he loves. We see long descriptions of the beauty of the girl, as if the wildflower could never possibly compete with her for the boy's love. Neither of them even noticing her gone as she suffers a tragic accident. It's shattering in so many layers. Very well written!
thank you so much!! i know i'm replying very late, i'm sorry. you perfectly understood what this poem was meant to convey. thank you for your review!! it helps me loads knowing your perspective. <33
This poem was gorgeous. Each line was purposeful and contributed to the meaning and story, and the callbacks to ideas like the moon and flowers were so well done. Great work! ^-^
Absolutely love how you use all this imagery related to the moon to describe her, then later reference the moon directly with "as beautiful as the moon". The line "perhaps i look a little beautiful when the moon's rays hit me" was interesting as well. At first, I thought it was just another way to mention the moon, but then I thought about the link between "she" and the moon and wondered if the "moon's rays" referred to her attention. Either way, nice usage of the moon theme!
What a musical phrase :3
!!! The way the narrator is compared to a wildflower while she is called a rose really emphasizes how the narrator thinks they're on the margins while she is in the spotlight. And the narrator being used as an accessory to her beauty... Ouch, but also, such a beautifully written metaphor. :')
Violent, but so is heartbreak. This shows how little the narrator matters to him or her, and it just stabs the reader in the heart with the casual pain of a rose's thorns.
And so it seems like the narrator's world revolves around these two...
Sorry, I don't have much helpful feedback in terms of critiques. ^^' I think this is a well-crafted poem that tells its story efficiently and beautifully, and I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! =D
thank you so much!! i loved your review!!
It is emotional and creative. I like how you describe yourself and someone else, comparing to nature. All natural things are beautiful, no matter how you look at them. I like this poem, sweet and short. Continue writing!
thank you so much!!!
No problem I loved it!
this is an old one, straight from my notebook. i wrote this back in 2023, when my style was totally different. once again, this is up to the reader's interpretation.