Night Smile

Hello CapitalMonday here with a review for you. I like to begin at the tone of this poem and how you made the plenty of suspense in this one poem. The tone of this poem is that you are trying to get away from something horrible in the sky, but you can't. This thing follows you where ever you go- in the day and in the night. Whenever, you hide the thing is right there under your skin or in the air around you. Finally, when the sun arises the monsters hides in the shadows waiting until his sibling leaves the forsaken sky, so it can continue taunting you like a preppy school girl. Finally after the sun leaves, the monster comes back smiling that horrible smile.

The suspense in this poem make me wonder what is going to happen next? is the monster going to attack the person or is the person going to stand up from himself when he had had enough of the monster's annoyance?

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

Hi Geeky here:)!!

First: I couldn't find any errors.. so I'll just leave that alone haha:)

Second: I'm a huge fan of poetry and this was absolutely amazing!! I could really feel your feeling behind it! I love how you have it all centered and I love the way you put main words in all caps like "SMILE, DAYLIGHT, and, RUN"

I really enjoyed reading this and I think you're a talented writer and i'd love to hear more! keep up the good work:)

This is amazing!!!


I love it it's so good and relatable, I remember having dreams like this and wanting it to all just stop but nothing in your power can do so.


*presses like a lot* I've read poetry before but unlike yours you can feel the feelings behind it which is incredible that you could incorporate that into words, kudos!


My favorite part was "DAYLIGHT, within my reach, then the darkness, cold and lonely,wraps it tentacles around me. I scream" I love creepy and there it was, the tentacles part was fascinating, or at least I think it was. I love this writing and I'll be looking forward to more writings by you, definitely.

~The Written Girl

I LOVE THIS.
It's awesome, and I can't really find anything to really correct in this. Normally, I would with some of the words being capitalized, but it makes sense in this poem. I like how you both begin, and end with the moon smiling.

"leaving me alone
to look at the moon
and its familiar,
bitter sweet
SMILE."

This is my favorite part, very, VERY dramatic. I love it! Keep writing!
~Snazzy

What I like is I can connect to it. It reminds me of those nightmares where you just want it to stop. Then the last sentence is rememberable because it's very easy to picture the cold moon. Overall very creepy and EXACTLY what I like, but it would be better with a catchier title.

Wow. That was really good. Quick fix-it comment, about halfway down, when it says DAYLIGHT, you start using commas and periods, where before that you only used periods. You had a period at the end of every line. I'm not sure if it was purposeful, but I thought I'd point it out. Other than that, it was really, really good. And I'm not normally a poetry person. It really communicates a feeling a sadness and fear, even defeat at the end. Interesting take on the subject too, usually the moon is written as a benevolent thing, "God bless the moon and God bless me" and all that.

OOH! I like the simplistic tone it has, it gives it a very strong sense of emotion. I write poems like this myself, so it's good to see I'm not the only one. That was very short and sweet. I think if you added more descriptive words, it would drag the reader just a little more, and pull the reader along with it. I love, love, loved it. I hope you do more works like this one I would also put a little more of the detail into what exactly the darkness felt like. That's hard to put into words because the poem was beautiful itself but.. yeah. Please, PLEASE keep writing. Let me know when you make another one like this:)