The airport is full of people, even though it is seven o'clock in the morning. People shouting, waiting, and embracing their friends and family. Every bench is occupied except for one. I go over to it and sit down. I feel the smooth wood, fashioned to be sat on. The steel enforcers make sure the wood doesn't snap under extreme weight. I run my fingers through my brown hair.
"Sir," says a small voice. "Can I sit next to you? I'm waiting for my grandparents to arrive."
I turn to see a small girl, about eight years old. She has curious gray eyes, just like mine. Her hair is black, making her pale skin seem translucent. She looks harmless enough. "Sure kid, don't worry, I won't try to kidnap you," I say, a smile on my face.
She grins with delight as she exclaims, "Oh, thank you! My name is Prala. What is yours?"
"My name is-" I pause, wondering what harm it would bring me should I reveal my true name. Deciding it wouldn't hurt to let her know, I continue, "My name is David. Nice to meet you Prala."
We sit and chat for a while. Prala waiting for her grandparents, me waiting for my plane. Finally, the overhead says, "Flight eight is here at gate number six."
Prala leaps up and yells over the crowd, "That's where my grandparents are. I better go meet them."
I grab her arm and say, "I'm going with you, just in case, you know?"
Prala looks at me with something akin to satisfaction in her eyes, "Ok, let's go."
We weave our way through the crowd and then stop. The crowd of people running in the opposite direction starts to pull us apart. Everyone is yelling, their features distorting in fear and terror. I swiftly pick up Prala and carry her to the side, where I snatch a running person and ask, "Why are you all running and screaming?"
The person, fighting viciously to get free, screams, "A plane is going to crash!" With that, the person wins and runs back to the crowd trying to escape. A plane is about to crash? Why doesn't the overhead say evacuate the airport? It doesn't make sense at all. I climb on top of a nearby table to get the answers I need. Luckily, I needn't wait long. In the distance, I can just make out a plane far away, its wings on fire, hurtling towards the airport.
"Prala, we are leaving, now!" I yell. She doesn't question me. Good, I don't think I can handle any questions.
I run to one of the emergency exits. Everyone seems to be trying to get out through the front doors like idiots. I lift the red handle and rush out the door. I keep running, running as far away as I can before it's too late. Even though I have only known the little girl for not even two hours, I feel like I have known her since she was born.
Finally, I stop running to witness the scene that I have just ran away from. I see the plane hitting the airport, I hear the explosion and Prala's screams of terror. I have run far enough away not to get hit with the flying debris, but not far enough away to not hear people wailing in horror and pain.
Did anyone escape? That's the question that I run through my head over and over as I race back to the airport, now safe to look, for the flames have been extinguished. Immediately, I regret going back. Burnt corpses lie everywhere. Only a few escaped, most with bruises and open gashes from the debris. Prala and I were the only ones to escape unharmed. Then I think of her grandparents. I turn over to the officer nearby who is clucking her tongue at the airport.
I ask, "What happened? Which plane was it?"
The officer replies busily, "I am not sure, but I think one of the planes that were about to land must've came in too fast or something like that- I'm sorry ma'am, but I don't know-we are still unsure. What we do know is that- I need to ask about that sir- the plane that crashed was plane eight. We have found no survivors and we are sure that no one actually could survive. If you will excuse me, I am busy right now."
Prala hears the officer and asks me, "My grandparents are dea- dea- dead?"
"Yes, it seems to be," I whisper. I pick up the shocked girl, thank the officer, and take Prala to my home.
End of chapter
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Heya, Lost! Casanova here to do another review for you! Anyway, let's get to the review!
To start off with I'd like to say that this is rather interesting. It seems to keep up in pace, and I like the way that the story is flowing together. So I give you props for that. I do have a couple of things I wanted to talk about, though. To the review!
Characters
Let's talk about your narrator first. He's interesting, but I think that he's lacking in something. Something like actual emotion in his dialogue and tone. Like, he seems to be reacting to everything like a robot. And although that's actually possible in real people, it just doesn't seem possible for some one who's haunting(basically) the murderer of his old love. I would suggest playing around with his dialogue and his actions. Spicing them up and making them seem as if you were actually in that situation. At the current moent I feel that it's lacking in this area. Anyway, onward.
Plot
Your plot is still the best thing about it. Well, the plot idea. I find that it's still the most interesting thing. Usually I get hooked on characters or the setting. The plot idea is usually so cliche it isn't funny. But this is a bit of a difference. It's the result of a bet, and then murder, and then the revenge. I actually find that to be really interesting, but I guess that's the romance side of me talking. Then again, when am I not being a romantic?
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped. Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
Wow! What a surprise! :3
Some minor problems, just a little editing on your part 
This is very interesting! You've definitely know what to do when it comes to plotting
"Did anyone escaped?"
no "d" on the end there :p
I think the ending could a little more 'Jazz' to it! More emotion and detail maybe? And it be cool if there was a change in the girl, something that's a little unexpected. Instead of crying, make her too shocked to say anything after the realization.
I really like this book so far! Seems like something I would buy :3
I'm off to review Chapter 3!
-Kamryn-
Flame here! I'm going to cover nitpicks first, and then move onto what I loved, if that's all right.
I think you meant "did anyone escape?" I make this mistake all the time, too
Should be "lie" in this case.
The officer's going to be busy answering other questions. He's also going to be alarmed, frightened. Maybe speak in fragments. Let some emotion shine through his voice.
I feel like this needs a little more detail. Prala's grandparents just died, and there doesn't even exist an adverb or adjective to indicate what she's feeling. Just that she's crying, which is standard reaction to negative news. Let the reader know why this is so significant, how it'll impact her life. Take a brief vacation inside her head.
That's all I have. I enjoyed this even more than the previous chapter. Varied sentence structure, beautiful descriptions. They were casual, but they succeeded in snaring my attention, and they left room open for interpretation. I'll admit, the ending was a bit unsatisfying, but you kept me on the edge of my seat. The characters were realistic, and the panic was realistic, as I think Converse pointed out below. I'm also interested to know more about Prala, despite having just met her.
Keep it up! Looking forward to more!
I decided that you'll know more about Prala in chapter three.
Can't wait
Hello, Rhia here to review! I don't usually do novels, but I figured I could at least give my editing expertise, try to clear out the green room.
One little incongruity. You first say that the girl is waiting for her grandparents, then, in this sentence
I think you just accidentally referred to them as her parents here, it should be grandparents. You then went back to grandparents, so it is confusing.
Also,
ran should be run.
ANother, in this same sentence,
I'm confused as to why he's waiting for a train at an airport?
Alright, those are all the little things I could find. Hope they help!
O.O Oops. Thanks for the advice though! I must have gotten mixed up. I am pretty sure that I was originally thinking train. Chapter three will be out soon though!
Hey there, I'm here to give you a review!



First of all, I'd like to point out that I have not read your first chapter, which already gave me a positive as your writing style made it so that this seemed like a story in itself. Smooth.
I liked your story line so far, your writing is very intriguing and I thought your characters were realistic.
Now, to get the little bits out of the way...
"Why doesn't the overhead say evacuate the airport." The full stop should be a question mark, you could be trying to say this sort of flatly, but I think it would be better with a question mark, panic, you know.
"are dea, dea, dead?"" This should be: "are dea-dea- dead?""
Also one last little thing... when:
"She squeals with delight" i thought this was an overreaction, I think the words "delight" and "squeals" were a tad too over the top. Perhaps: "grins, seeming more relaxed"
or something...
Overall great work, I'm going to keep track of this for sure!
-CFG
She is eight though
Chapter three will be out soon! I have to revise it really quick and then get unstuck on chapter four (I'm stuck on it)