I expected the worst outcome, I expected it every time.

Hey there legend!

Thought I'd drop by with a review! First I am very sorry if this is inspired by personal events, I'm hoping the efforts weren't wasted but have helped in growth if this was your experience.

Now on to the review!

meaning
This poem was very straightforward, in fact maybe too straightforward, there wasn't really any imagery or figurative language beyond the line "body like tissue paper" but nothing else. Maybe you could play a little bit more with figurative language if you decide to revise.

The poem seemed to be about someone who had studied really hard for an exam, and knew their efforts would be wasted, and it turns out they got a poor result and so felt their time had bene wasted and break down. From the beginning of the poem, it is not difficult to see where this poem will go.

highlights
I like the focus of the poem - it doesn't meander to different subjects that distract from the main theme, it's a very unified piece.

I also like that it's written so straight-forwardly, maybe because it's in prose-form rather than free verse.

suggestions
I'm really curious what this poem would look like with line breaks, as-is, i'm not sure the paragraph form adds or helps.

Also I think you could give us a bit more character leading up to the bad news to try to build up reader empathy for them. This is a good way to keep people engaged and invested in the speaker so that they want to finish the poem and feel the emotions being portrayed as their own.

Overall, this is somewhat unusual for a poem in structure, theme, and content, but I love to see people pushing poetic boundaries. Keep on writing!

~alliyah

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Hey! IMK here,

First of all, I would like to say that I loved your poem, it was absolutely amazing. I could feel the emotion in each line, and it was beautiful. I really love the imagery of
"as I staggered out of the car with sobs threatening to rip through my body like tissue paper"
and how you use it so perfectly. I have a few questions, though, because I can't tell what the exam is? Either way, though, there are so many good things about your poem.
~
- I love the slight detachedness from whatever is actually happening, and the way you describe things very concisely without even naming why they were happening.
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- I love the last line, "I cried and cried until I had no more tears left to cry," and how you used it as a final sentence because it feels final, and attachment of "passenger's seat" adds, again, the feeling of description without description because we don't know where you are or who you're with, but there is this small detail that we do know.
~
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I don't really have anything negative to say, just a few grammatical corrections
-replace but with a semicolon in the second sentence
- the transition "tissue paper; as my companion" should be a comma, it's not separating sentences, but rather clauses.
- “'Did you get nervous?' like" you need to capitalize "like" as it's after punctuation, even though it's not a new sentence.
- maybe replace the commas after "And yet," and before "I felt blindsided" with dashes? That's a purely aesthetic change but it might help a little.
~~

That's all the critique I have, but remember that these are recommendations, and you don't have to follow any of them. Have a good day!

-IMK

Wow.
I could feel it through the screen.
The visual of tissue paper is so effective.
I expected something else, I expected a run of the mill commentary on anxiety.

This is vivid, emotional; beautiful.

Hey legendary! c:

Haven't written a review here in a million years, but I'm getting back into it with some poetry! I'll go over the things I feel could/should be changed and the things I liked, and hopefully some of it will be helpful to you in your writing.

First off, this seems more like flash fiction or a micro-story than poetry, due to the lack of rhyme, rhythm, and other typical characteristics of poetry. I guess the way you categorize it doesn't matter so much, especially as the definition of 'poetry' is already pretty loose to begin with- just something I noticed. Was this what you were going for?

Like good flash fiction (..or good poetry), it conveys the idea and everything the reader needs to know about what happened and how the characters felt about it in few words. It's short and sweet, and I'm sure the subject is relatable to a lot of us on YWS who are students. The feeling of sharp disappointment and regret definitely hits home, and it does a good job of evoking sympathy for the speaker.

I like how concise this is. It’s straightforward, blunt, and unapologetic- without lengthy or flowery description- just like the emotions it describes. The reveal of dashed hopes feels sudden and jarring, yet inevitable- which I think is what you were going for. Good job!

I think you could make this a little more impactful by removing “and the worst outcome came true” and just let the character’s reaction speak for itself. We don’t need to be told it was a bad outcome, and this line lessens the emotional punch a bit for me. Let it be ambiguous, yet obvious- just like the tone/theme of the piece as a whole: unavoidable anxiety and hope, though the outcome is already known.

Also, the use of the word "but" in "I expected the worst outcome, I expected it every time. But all my effort, days of stress, and hours of practice came down to a five-minute exam" implies that the two ideas/sentences are contradictory, but they're not really. I'd remove that word and let both statements stand on their own- it goes better with the work's overall blunt, concise, straightforward tone of voice.

Welp. That’s all I can think of at the moment. Good job, and thanks for sharing!

- Aly